Wednesday, December 30, 2009
But whatever it is, I realized that I wasted a big part of the year feeling miserable. I was down but I know that I need to put in an effort to pick my self up. And I did put in lots of heart space into pampering my self and making 2009 yet another year to remember!
Just like all newspapers have their most memorable events of the year, here are mine too. In no specific order.
1. Going to Japan. Something I dreamed of and somewhere I could only watch on TV. But
touching down in Japan was the happiest moment of 2009. The lovely memories. I will
be back in Japan again!!
2. Seeing snow for the first time in Japan. It doesn't snow in Tokyo but somehow, a
few flakes fell and it was just stunningly beautiful. Nature is so perfect and
3. Completing my diploma in Tan Tock Seng Hospital in Singapore in Clinical Hypnosis.
It is something that will lead me to a good future and at least, my wish for
studying abroad was sort of fulfilled.
4. Meeting good friends. Some became my mentors, some my confidantes, some my guardian
angels and some who are just wonderful to be around with.
5. Climbing up Gunung Batur. The volcano on Bali. Never would I have thought I could
achieve that feat ... its a great challenge and it proves that when you want to do
it, you can do it!
6. Great outings with friends and families, the dinners, movies, parties, chit- chats
that will always be appreciated.
7. Zorbing, ab-sailing ...... little thrills that I would never forget.
8. A trip to Hong Kong. Though hot and I ended in a HK police station and came back in
a wheel chair .... it was truly an long needed break.
9. Being a chee- mui for Sue Yee and joining her entourage to Sandakan. It was fun ...
planning the games to trash the boys and I got my little share of sight- seeing too!
10. Having a milestone challenge at the end of 2009. It gives me the drive, toughens
me up and braces me for the big big world out there.
11. A lovely break with friends in Genting. It was raining and oh so cold. I really
enjoyed the chat with a friend as we shiverred outdoors. Crazy but serene.
12. Having a road trip and bbq by Port Dickson. Catching la-la and playing on the
pebbly beach. We just never get tired of outings with friends.
13. A 10 year anniversary since my highschool graduation. We still keep in touch and
meet up for drinks .. but boy, how time flies and we are all different and grown
14. Falling in love with music, my friends, my family, puppies and over grown puppies,
food, fun, exploration.
Tuesday, December 29, 2009
But at my lowest and darkest moments, my friends have been there to pick me up. A short phone call or a cute picture brightens me up. A sms or a nudge on msn does wonders to my otherwise dreadful day at work.
I couldn't be more than grateful for my friends and family who have done so much for me .... I guess you guys are what that kept me sane! Thanks a bunch!
And the latest boost that I received on one of those down days .... (drumrolls!!) ... Instant snow all the way from Sweden!! Thanks Johan!!
And happy belated Christmas everyone!!
Thursday, December 24, 2009
I want to jet off to somewhere far away and be amazed by the culture. I want to see things that I have only watched on TV. I want to taste cuising from the most authentic kitchen and I want to hear words that I can't pronounce.
I want to be alone yet I want to be with close friends. I want silence yet I need music. I am confused and I am trapped. I want to open up and see the world. I want to explore .... any takers?
Saturday, December 19, 2009
When I decide to pamper my self and get away, when I do what ever it takes to take leave, I still get rudely harrassed. What does it mean that 'it is alright that you go on holiday but the rest of the world is working and you have to pick up your phone?' How ridiculous can that comment get? How much longer can I take this nonsense. Yet, for other reasons, I have to struggle on.
How else can I keep myself happy? How else can I stay afloat and not let it affect my life?
Sunday, December 13, 2009
I checked into Westin KL. Yup, I became a tourist in my own home city. The year has been rough for me and stress has been piling up as well. So now, seeing that its the festive season, I need to bring cheer into my own life and pamper myself too. No one is more precious than ME! If I don't treat myself well, then no one would.
So off I went to KL. Did some shopping in Lot 10, Sg Wang area ... something which I have not done in ages. Then checked into the hotel. Did some 'oohing' and 'ah-ing' in my hotel room and went for a swim. The water was super salty, but I suspect that the water was treated as my skin felt so smooth after that. Then soon after, it was dinner time back in KL with friends (sigh, the traveling), and finally back to the hotel for some beauty snooze .. Well, Westin is famous for their 'heavenly bed'!
The next morning, I went for another dip in the pool ... and came out silky smooth (hmm, I must bathe in salt water). Time really flew ..though I did not have enough of the 5 star luxury, I had to check out. Went for lunch with my folks in Saisaki Jap buffet across the street. Yum yum, first I pampered my mind and body, then I pampered my tummy.
I would seriously recommend this kind of retreats to anyone.
Wednesday, December 9, 2009
Trust me, those who asks you to take vanilla or chocolate would not harm you and give you bad advice. But you trully know that ice-cream makes you fat. Yet your mind is considering whether to take a scoop to satisfy the cravings or whether to trash it down the bin and waste the hard researched for Baskin Robin's secret recipe. People around might be putting in laxative, wishing to trap you .... eesh eesh eesh, life is indeed scary.
Yes, there really are so many decisions in life to make. Important ones. Take one wrong bite and your future might be messed up. Ones that will either make you or break you. Unless of course you want to live the life of an ice- cream vendor just happily ringing his bell as he rides his bell through the neighbourhood.
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Now 10 years later, here I am thinking, wow! ... time flies. In a blink of an eye and it has been a decade. I am really grown up? Am I really free? So much has happened in between. Shit happens, and so has joy and pride. I had my braces done, had wonderful vacations, had my first job, had a few accidents and had unforgettable moments with friends. So can I say it was a 10 year period well spent? Well .... I am not sure but I know I did learn a lot.
In 1999, I still remember all of us in school uniform in Form 5 at the corner classroom on the 3rd floor all looking down from the balcony and taking a group photo. And here we are now, gathered in a wedding dinner of one of the 'gang', acting like excited little children again, REUNITED. It isn't as if we dont meet up occasionally or it isn't as if FB was never invented. But it was a lovely occasion with our form teacher present too! Thanks Zhi Yang!
Though only about half the class was present, it felt like 1999 again. I can't wait for our Get-together in February !
Yup, it was late and only a few crazy people like us stayed behind and chatted away till the cleaners sort of 'chased' us off.
Thursday, November 26, 2009
I want the break, I want the peace of Christmas and the magic of the season .
hmm, if winter were to come to Malaysia and the weather be cold, what is the rest of the western world be like? Frozen?
But anyway .... there is something in Christmas carols that makes you feel in love. Go try it out!
Saturday, November 14, 2009
I don't know what is it with me but I tend to put myself in curfew when exams are around the corner. Though I don't study, I just feel the need to stay home and 'pretend' to be studying. So who am I cheating? Myself? hehe ... No outings with friends, no luxurious times loitering in malls or no chill out sessions in front of the TV. In fact, I don't even have time to blog much. But once in a while .. I do get tired of 'jailing' my self and tend to go on guilt trips.
But now ... at least not for another 4 months, I don't have to worry about exams. I am free I am free. .. and although I am all alone in Singapore, I feel great. I haven't had time to walk around a mall or just to browse around at a book shop here. I havent had the chance to chill out in my hotel room and just watch serials on TV. I haven't felt so relaxed just lying here and doing nothing.
Although its midnight, I don't want to go to sleep .... I just want to relax and do nothing ......... ah, the little luxuries of life!
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
I am tired and I don’t want to go. I don’t want to meet anyone or I don’t want to smile when I don’t feel like. I cant put on a fake front or act ‘plastic’ as well as some people do. I’d rather have a peace of mind and stay in my humble world where the people are sincere and are out there for the benefit of others. NOT in a world where people are selfish, insensitive and down right greedy.
Well, at least I have a story in which I can tell my grandchildren. Yes, I worked my ass off, fried my brains and possible have my mind screwed up and all I got was a chance to meet the Prime Minister, and some very lovely royalties as well. It was a good experience, walking into the posh Putrajaya, being escorted up the lift, passing by rows of body guards and following protocols just to sit down. Then there was protocol of asking permission to speak or for permission to go to the toilet (yes, you will be escorted there too).
I’m too darn tired to mention what the whole event was but all I know is that I am proud to have been in the prime minister’s office, over looking the whole Putra jaya. I am darn proud to have rubbed shoulders with some people really high up on the hierarchy and glad to sip tea with them in an after event. Yet … I am pissed off enough to want to forget the whole incident and not event leave a space in my mind for it.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Why do you think Happy Meal was invented?
But then again ... how fat would I be then? 150 kgs with love handles everywhere?
But the urge is just to strong .... bah, and by the time I order delivery, my fries would be soggy and squishy!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
People around are suffering but everyone wants to be happy and live stress free ... then it hit me. We are our own destiny. We can choose to take the shit either negatively or positively. Or perhaps we can take the shit when we are supposed to, and after our duty ... your shit is yours. My life is mine and its fresh and smells nice ...... bah!!
So ... I have responsibility over how I feel. Shut the stress out and do the things that I truly enjoy. Going out with friends, pigging out on good food, pampering myself with massages, listening to music or just sweating it out. Yup, life is short! So enjoy!
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
I am not even appreciated where I am. Why am I slogging on so much? Why am I trying my best? Why am I doing things that are against my principle? Why have I become so different? Why did I wake up so late in my life? Why have I wasted all these time?
It is not only yours, but my reputation as well. I have a life to live. I have a name that I want to keep clean. I have a stand that I want to take. I have a brain that can think what is right or what is wrong. And I have a right to be me.
The world is big out there. Why should I be limited here? Why did I think that you can give me so much. Why did I agree to be stuck in this rut? Why am I going in this direction? I want to jump and I want to fly. I want to leave you and see you die ...(wahaha it rhymes)
Monday, September 28, 2009
So time for some fun ... had a great time partying with the girls last week! Really it was a night to remember ... can't wait till the photos comes out. Watched a nice movie to laugh away the blues as well as ate lots to fill a happy tummy! But it could not beat Zorbing!!
Went to Titiwangsa to play with a pair of balls. Nice round ones hehe ..... so much fun! It was a really good experience with lots of laughter and release of pressure ... let the picture speak for itself!
Thursday, September 24, 2009
But in actual fact, it is a call to tend to my inner child. True, I have been neglecting it. Its time I paid attention to it and spend time for myself. Then when I did the reading again, I drew cards ... Signs, Balance and Body Care. They seem to relate so well to the issue I have on hand.
So yup, here I am disclosing my findings as I want to do things for myself. I want to change and become Joyce again. I felt that I have lost the human in me. And these few days ... I have been enjoying life. Doing things that I like and doing stuff that makes me satisfied. I now know that I have to sacrifice to get the best out myself .... and it doesn't hurt to pamper myself a little!
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Its amazing, me, of all people don't feel like eating but only have cravings for carbonated drinks. Why am I so thirsty? I hate to say it but being a therapist, I know what the signs are and what this is leading to ... and I cannot let it happen. I don't want to end up like a rotten piece of junk.
Its not a very nice feeling, both in my head and my body. My mind seems to be fading away. My memory is horrible, I can read right, when speaking ... my grammar goes out, while typing this, my spelling is bad (don't go searching for the mistakes, I have spell checks). I can ask my friend this minute where he wants to go for lunch and the next minute, I am asking the same thing again. Oh no! Is it dementia? Can you imagine I forgot to put sugar in my morning coffee and even forgot to flush the toilet? eeks ....!! Its bad.
I was so stressed and tired today that I had to pamper my self with retail therapy! And I bought a few books (busted my purse and I'm so far away from home). But my favorite buy was a motivational quote book with pictures of puppies. And puppies never ceases to make me smile! How adorable! And this quote said ... 'Learning to ignore things is one of the greatest path to finding inner peace.'
I will live to that! I really need the time of to rest my brain (it strains now for no reason). I need time to just lie there and stare at the ceiling. I need the space to just do the things that I like and just get bored! oh, how I am longing for that to come!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Then the perfect opportunity came ... it was Tan Sri's birthday party (and a whole lot more, the launch of a Mahadevan Harvard Fellowship, the awarding of the Brand Laureate Mahathir award) but the high light was still the dressing up.
And I've got to thank my friends for this. They accompanied me down to Klang's little India to buy the perfect saree. I've also got to thank YouTube for teaching me how to tie a saree. I am so proud of the outcome. So happy that I actually own a piece of art.
And the happiest part of it all? Being praised! I may be narcisistic but thanks to all my friends for the sweet words. It also feels nice when a total stranger in the dinner walked up to me and said I looked nice & it was good to see a Chinese girl in a saree ... hehe, this might call for my addiction of another traditional costume.
The best part of it? My Indian friends will teach me how to tie other designs, the most important one being the sexy style.
Saturday, August 22, 2009
The month started with a trip to Genting. And it was a very refreshing start! So cold … so much laughter and so many crazy events. Then there were dinners and shopping trips and just meet ups over the weeks.
Not to forget the little trip to Port Dickson. Its our first outstation trip with the gang, true! It was so much fun! Well … the beach there sucked, can you imagine walking on pebbles instead of sand? Never ever will I dip my head in a sea full of mud! But it was still a beach after all with breeze, a sunset and a peaceful scenary.
And when the sun came down, our hunger went up. BARBEQUE!!!! Yum yum … lots of work but lots of fun! We practically brought everything from KL here just for the 4 hours of fun. Well, eating burnt food, snapping photos and just sitting there by the beach while gossiping is more than worth it. Did I mention that I love August?
The events doesn’t stop there! Its karaoke night!! Great plans with great people! The night started with some kiddish fun in the arcade, shooting bad guys and popping bubbles …. Ah, those were the days. Then there was 6 hours of singing/ screaming and dancing in the little K room. Tiring ….. but well worth the effort. But even at 3am, it was too early to end the day … I don’t grow a year older everyday. So it was drinks again till the morning …. Hehe dammit …. I forgot I had to go to work the next day.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Perhaps now I know why dogs like to make a few circles and rounds before slopping down on their spot to sleep and let out a contented and sleepy moan. Perhaps its their way of saying, 'I am satisfied with my day, thank you.'
You'll never know what may happen to you tomorrow. You might sleep soundly in bed tonight and might wake up with purple polka dotted skin tomorrow. You might never have imagined that tomorrow you will receive a big shock that will change your life. And sometimes, there is just no time to let that piece of news digest. Sometimes, you just have to act on it and let reality sink in as time goes by.
And it sucks, I know. You might not even have the time to cry or to seek a solution somewhere else. But whatever happens ... it happens for a reason. And behind it all, is a blessing in disguise. And so much more benefits will come your way .......
Sunday, August 2, 2009
In just a blink of an eye we have met each other for 2 years. I still remember walking into a room with 19 other people who were just as lost as I was. But meeting each other as MA was very meaningful and even up to today. Well, some may have left and some remained, but all became not only colleagues but friends as well.
I know, 10 of us are missing and the trip would never be a complete one. But on our anniversary day, we've just got to have fun.
Being the stressed up people that we all are, we decided to hit the slopes and enjoy the cool air .... ooh, it was a good 15 degrees on Sat night! It was drizzling and it froze our toes (wasn't prepared for it to be that cold). Even the mist made visibility so low and it was dangerous to walk outside. Ahh, I love the cold and fresh air!
And what better way to enjoy our meet ups but with food? And a 3 hour long buffet. With games requiring the loser to eat wasabi with what ever left overs on the table! Then there is no better way to end the night than with cards and booze ... and lots of laughter!
Never knew Genting could be so much fun! Like I said .... its the company that counts.
Sunday, July 26, 2009
True, not much sight seeing, only a lot of shopping and eating. And to top the list, we ate loads of tun dan (double boiled egg) yum yum!Not forgetting our dim sum breakfasts where we shared tables with some uncles and just chatted the hours away. It made us feel so free and so HK-ite. And my polo buns and Vitasoy! Perhaps the coolest part was chilling out in a bar at Lan Kwai Fong!
I guess the highlight of the trip was walking into Wanchai police station. hehe, we often get to see the police in action in TVB dramas but this time I get to be in the picture. I got pick pocketed in Causeway Bay. Someone opened the zipper on my bag and pulled out the camera with the lanyard attached. Ouch! And my camera is only 3 days old! Bought it right before I boarded the plane to HK. Talk about luck ......... and there goes all my vacation photos.
Well, at least I got to spot a celebrity before I left. Bowie Lam .... super pleasant guy. And great actor too.
But the drama doesn't stop there. On the flight back home, my leg started hurting. I thought it was too cramped on the plane so I didn't bother much ... but I ended up hobbling down the steps and needed to be wheeled out of the airport. My ankle was red and swollen and couldn't even fit into my slipper any more. It REALLY hurt. So painful just to take a little step. Apparantly at the HK bus stop there were many big red ants. I must have got bitten and had an alergic reaction to it.
And the stupid doctor said that if I develop fever the next day, I might die ... what a way to scare someone. Good thing is, 2 days later I am not dead ... but the ankle is still red and swollen. wahaha! I get to rest my leg up high, sit back and do nothing. But its still back to work tomorrow but I get to wear slippers!
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
Big oopsie! Its 1.15 am and my mum just walked into my room.
"Are you working or are you just surfing?"
well .... I am working but at the same time downloading songs ... so what I am doing?
Can't really escape when your boss asks you to go check a mail at 10.50pm, can you?
But where has my balance gone?
What is night what is day?
What is work what is play?
What is personal what is the office?
Argh ... people have been nagging me to stop and go get a life!
My colleague is nagging me to go home at 6pm sharp but what good does it do when I get calls at night? I have been asked to take off days but what good is it when you get SOS-ed back to work. My friends ask me out for lunch but what good is it when someone keeps sending you texts? What good is it when you are on vacation when someone calls and says 'I know you are off today but can you do bla bla bla now?'
HELP!!! I know I make my own destiny but I need a break!!
I want to get away and just forget everything for a while.
I need to just shut of my brains and not be bothered by anything work related.
I need a nice log sleep in without being called at 8.30am sharp!
I want to be far from where it all happens.
I want to be alone yet be with someone to laugh and go crazy with.
I hope that my little break would come soon ... I NEED ONE!!
Monday, June 29, 2009
It actually sucks to be living like this now. There is just this feeling inside of me. It just feels like I am cold all over inside (no I don't have H1N1)and as if I am sitting in a pressure cooker. Its not like I've actually cooked myself before but it just feels as if there is just a physical pressure on you, pushing your insides out. It makes you feel as if you want to dismantle your bones and piece them back like Lego pieces. No amount of stretching made me feel more comfortable today ... I'm not sure if curling up in bed will make me feel better.
Something is seriously wrong. When having 8 hours of sleep is not enough ... when snacking non stop just doesn't make you full ... when even the full blasting air cond makes you feel hot or when everything around you just doesn't make you smile from inside. I want a hug to let me feel safe. I want a pill to let me sleep well. I want brownie to let me feel warm inside. I want to be alone to see my self. I want to lock my self up and just let my mind go blank. I want to be away from people for a while.
I have tried cheering my self up but failed. Friends have taken me out but I hide it from them. Colleagues have been darting me with rubber bands but I just laugh. Happy times at work seems to be just a slide show in my eyes. I talk to friends I love but my emotions can't be found. Conversations that were meant to comfort just seems so much more painful. Pouring out your frustrations makes you feel like you've lost your safety shield. I feel like a robot. A heartless robot. Being a robot makes you miss out on so many things. I am a robot that has an empty mind. A robot who doesn't care less. A robot who cant control her own feelings. But there is one ...
And the feeling of being afraid has been there for the past few days. Its in my gut, in my heart and I can feel the chill in my spine (no wonder I don't like horror movies). There is no physical threat, I am in a perfectly safe space. There is nothing I did wrong or nothing to worry about. Yet this feeling is there. Its like I am just afraid of being afraid. I am afraid for my family and friends. I am afraid of losing the people I love. I am afraid of losing my pillar of support. I am afraid for the future and the past. I am afraid of things that will never happen. I am afraid of losing control. I am afraid of being vulnerable. I am afraid of letting go. I am afraid of the tears that will just flow for no reason. I am afraid of the stupid nose that is so stuck now. I am just afraid. I don't know of what. I'm just afraid of being me.
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
But then again there are the happy moments. The delicious food! Seafood! Crabs! Chili's! Ice- kacang! Italiannies! Stuffed crust pizza! Old town kopitiam! My own fried rice! Secret recipe! Durian Buffet! Steamboat buffet! Drinks in Bkt Bintang ...haha no wonder my belly doesn't seem to go down.
And there were the little pleasures in life that makes you energized ... a silly dog nudging you up in the morning! Making lychee jelly! Finding a S$ 50 note stuffed in a jeans pocket you never wore for more than a month! Going up to Genting in the wee hours of the morning! Getting drenched in rain! Watching a comedy while munching chips! Receiving a card from a far away friend! Dinner with the pals! Its just excellent!
And there comes a time when a single sentence can change all your plans. That single sentence can doom you to eternity being stuck in the office. That statement made can have drastic effects to the people around you. I know sometimes we have to be selfish and love ourselves, but sometimes you need to care for your neighbours too. One simple sneeze can get you infected with H1N1 but in this case, one simple sentence can make someone's life so much more miserable.
Things do change and sometime people have to react differently. I do understand the rationale behind that sentence. I do see the need to express it but I never knew the impact it could bring. Who would guess that the bombings of Hiroshima could still have its nuclear effects 100 years later? Things just surface and it might be difficult to patch up. There is just so little of me but so much expectations. hmm.... what should I do.
Brain is busting and that little big sentence left me a little emotional. Perhaps even regretful. Fortunately I had a little time off to enjoy and clear my head. Did another of life's little pleasures! Read a novel while enjoying a nice cuppa of ice-blended mocha over lunch!
But then its back to work again ....
Sunday, June 7, 2009
It was a good week for me the past few days. Busy but relaxing. Had some time to do some browsing on Orchard, had chance to eat some good food, had some laughs with friends and best of all ... had a good sleep while tucked in comfy-ly on my hotel bed. Had a great class over the weekend and gained so much insight. And all I wanted was a nice night in Bugis and go home happily with hands full of shopping bags .....
But NOOOOO!!!! Some people just don't understand boundaries. Perhaps some people don't have calendars or clocks at home. Perhaps they don't even have a life. Or their life is meant to make others' life miserable. And their weekend thrill is to be ridiculous and spread the joy of 'nonsenc-icle' crap around.
I mean, don't you know that the world doesn't evolve around you? Don't you know that different people have different thoughts, different shops have different prices or different dishes have different tastes? If you really want everything to happen on your own, DO IT YOURSELF! Or better still, ship yourself to an island and have everything there function to your own wants.
This calls for respect! Respect for other's time. Respect for other's rights. Respect for other's individuality. Respect for other's need to differ. And most important of all is to respect others if you want them to respect you.
Monday, June 1, 2009
One week has passed and the first part of my adventure has ended. I haven't missed my home so much before, though it has not been the first time I was away for so long. I really am not sure how I am feeling right now.
On one hand, I really want to go home, to sleep on my own bed, to have my little brat poke me up in the morning, to have the luxury of lying on the couch and watching dramas. I am longing for that nice stretch under the warm comfy sheets. Can't wait to be put in trance by the constant spinning sounds coming from the old ceiling fan. I am looking forward to tomorrow morning when I do not need to set the alarm clock at all. Life has been so busy and hectic these few days. Non stop work and super late nights in the office.
Come to think of it, why am I doing this to myself? I am posted away for a while. Away from the office where I just have a task to perform, but without restrictions. There will be no one to watch what time I go home or what time I go for lunch. Yet, why is it that I stay up alone in the office till 10pm. Why is it that I do not have my lunch till 4pm? Is it really that busy? Can't work wait till a bit later? Why hasn't the pattern changed at all?
I asked my friend this … why are you doing this? Why are you torturing yourself? Where is your life …..... hmm, where is mine? I shouldn't be asking others when I myself have not found the answers. 'The pot is calling the kettle black'. And this answer only lies within my self. Only I am capable of answering it. To search withing my self and ask, what is it that I truly want?
And on the other hand, I don't really want to go home (ok, I need to .. my luggage is not packed for that long a journey). I want to try being away for a longer period of time. Perhaps it might be good that I am away from certain stimulants for a while. Perhaps iv might benefit from the time away, to have to time to recover or even to forget. Perhaps being apart might have its benefits too ….. I don't know, its time to evaluate and we'll see how the story continues to unfold.
Saturday, May 30, 2009
So there I was with my luggage at the lobby of my hotel. Waiting for the check in procedure..... perhaps getting bored by the 'speed' of the hotel staff , and noticed another guest waiting there. And he asked me where I was from .... thus started our conversation about local food (he is from Kenya) and some sights in KL (he came from KL to SG). Finally we got our stuff done and went to the lifts together.
Bad decision ........ same lift ...... same floor ...... same aisle ........ and turned out that he is my neighbour. So I went in, put my bags down and then .... 'KNOCK KNOCK' .
... Do you want to get dinner? ...
... No I am tired, just finished work ...
... How about a short drink? ...
... No I just want to crash, good night ...
And that was it. Though I was starving, I was just feeling dreadfully tired and didn't want to socialize .... I mean ... who goes out with strangers just like that?
So a peaceful night sleep and a stressful day at work later, I reach the hotel at 10ish, with my packed dinner ..... KNOCK KNOCK.
... Want to go for a drink? ...
... No, I need to do some work and I'm having my dinner now ...
Fine, didn't hear from him for the rest of the night. Time to enjoy the comfy beds .......... zzzzz
... RING RING ...
... Hello? ...
... Click ...
What time was it? I don't know. All I know is that I was asleep.
... RING RING ... (I checked the time and it was 3am)
... Hello? ...
... Hi, I am Mooty from 329 . Are you asleep?...
... Yes ...
... (a whole lot of crap was mentioned ... I was asleep and could not register. But what made me wake up was ....
... Do you need company tonight? ...
... No ...
So a disturbed sleep and another stressful day at work later, I thought Mr 329 would give up. So I went back, unloaded my stuff and went out for dinner again. And when I shut the door behing me, walked halfway down the aisle, guess who came out? FREAKY!!!
I don't know what made me do such a stupid thing but I hid in the stairway till the coast was clear ... haha, I guess I did not watch enought TV that said stairwells are the most dangerous places to be. hmm... give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps it was coincidence that he was going out. Or was he really waiting for me?
I couldn't stand it anymore. I made a complain to the reception. They were really nice people. Asked me not to be afraid. And told me that if there is anything, don't come out of the room, call them and they will come up .. they will bring security ...... wahaha ... And the hotel staff actually waited till Mr 329 came back and gave him a warning. hehe, did that stop him? I don't know ...?
No one knows who gave me the 4 missed calls in the middle of the night ........ crazy person ..... thank god he checked out today ... FINALLY! I will get a good night's sleep ....
Lesson to be learnt ... don't be friendly with people in hotels ... especially when you are a girl traveling alone ...
Tuesday, May 26, 2009
So its a new path for me, these 2 months. And I've got a project to do. Not just some lame old high school project but one that allows me to test myself, see my strenghts, allow me to grow, get me slapped and rudely awakened and perhaps, show me the light. This will probably change me in one way or another, I don't know, so people around me .... open your eyes.
In one way or another, you might say that I am on a path of discovery. I'm asking myself things that I do not know the answer too. And perhaps by the end of July, this answer might just be staring me straight in the face. It will be tiring I know .... but now's the time to do it ... so wish me luck.
I'm sitting here, my first night away, feeling a sense of joy, perhaps a little excitement of whats to come and maybe even a little fear of the uncertainty. But what I will miss is my soft bed, my family and friends, my doggie ... and my doggie!
Its true the past few months were crazy, really didn't give me any time to reflect or even live my life. Some one told me, you're only 20ish, why are you acting 40ish and killing yourself now. BOO!!!!! Its time to enjoy life .... and thats what I did .... took a little time off and just emerged myself into the world of cinematography last night.
Went for a movie marathon ... 3 shows back to back. Angels & Demons, Night at the Museum and Star Trek. (Well, 4 if you want to count the Shanghai Knights I watch on my way down) ... And what a way to cap it but with a large tub of Caramel pop corn and coke! Wahahahaha! This is life!
And my next marathon ......... Food! Buffet!
Wednesday, May 20, 2009
But after all the hardwork, I think I finally saw some results. My little project with the Westin KL finally kicked off ... can't wait till its inception in July. Its such a great sense of achievement to do something a little out of the ordinary ... something that can lead on to a better future perhaps. All I can say is that the Westin is just ....HEAVENLY! OK ... will not say more till we get the stamp from the GM.
And another great news is that I will be working my ass of to develop the Singapore center!! Yes, much ,more traveling, much more headaches and many more frustrations coming my way. But it will be the perfect opportunity to grow, to learn and to improve myself. It won't be easy, yes, but I get to challenge myself. Its a great measure to see how far I can go. It will be good to prove to myself that I can achieve what my heart desires.
So as a note to myself, JIA YOU!!!
Monday, May 18, 2009
Like I said, I might only get a physical off day ....... but I need an emotional one too. Was finally to have my first day away from work after 2 weeks. But what good is it when you still have to settle office stuff early in the morning. And what is the rational that you have to be called back to the office on your day off? And it isn't the first time that this has happened ..... Sometimes I feel that its even more relaxing to be in work than to be off work .....
So what am I doing back here in the office? Its the early evening and there is so much more life out there. Why am I limiting my self and selling my soul to the office? Why do I have to attend to all the issues in the office? Why do I have to obey others so much? Why am I jeapordizing my own happiness for the benefit of others?
I really want a day of silence. A day of rest where I don't have to be reminded of work at all. A day when I can spend my time doing the things that I want. Talk to the people I like, meet the people whom I enjoy their company or simply, let my mind drift..
I don't think its that complicated a thing to ask for? Everyone has their own right to freedom. Everyone has a right to their free space, their clean breath of fresh air. I want to get away and switch of my phone. I don't want to be bugged. Sheesh .......
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I KNOW! haha ... its a total waste of time ... but one of life's little pleasures for me is just lounging the time away, doing the things that I like to do ... perhaps you may say its pretty ridiculous. But if doing it makes me happy, then what the heck? JUST DO IT!
Don't laugh at the things I am doing ... like piecing together a 5000 piece jig saw puzzle and reassemble them (its addictive), knitting myself a second shawl even though there is no winter in KL (again its addictive), scrap booking my pictures from high school days (ah .. the memories), staring straight in my dog's eyes for hours (super cute) and watching reruns of dramas (the number one addiction).
And my latest craze, Japanese dramas that I don't have a clue on what they are saying ... thank god for sub-titles. hmm .. A good way to learn the language? Or I might just get distracted by good looking actors and actresses.
1 good recomendation .. 'My boss, my hero'. Its about this Yakuza head who has to go back to high school in order to get the crown. Its hilarious ... a serious dude acting like a high school kid? hehe you really can laugh your worries away.
So yup, sleepless nights for me, and never mind my panda eyes. This is what addiction is like. And I'm determined not to sleep till I finish this series .... another 12 chapters to go! I can do it! (and the only reason wwhy I am typing this entry now is because the drama is buffering)
Sunday, May 3, 2009
I have half a day left to enjoy and this is what I really want. Reality aside (time constraints & monetary issues don't count as well), I would love to end my day like that. Like I said, its only my dream, but I seriously wish it could come true.
- Expeience winter again (the heat in KL is killing me .. I want to enjoy the cool ness of nature ... just sitting there and appreciating mother nature)
- Be surrounded by puppies & dogs (how innocent and happy they are. Just seeing them wag their little butts make you smile)
- Go for ice cream buffet ....... and I must have Swenson's sticky chewy chocolate & Baskin's rum & raisin
- Have a nice pampering body massage ..... all over ... (I may be a sadist but I enjoy the pain, and it feels good)
- Watch a nice comedy (its always good to have a good laugh even though the story line might be crap ... and it helps if the cinema is freezing)
- Go for dessert with friends ..... nothing beats having nice gossips with the girls over Bakerzin's dark choc cake (can't wait till next Friday!! Tiramisu is great as well!!)
- Just lying in bed doing nothing but listening to your favorite music (that I can do very easily and I am doing it as soon as I reach number 10)
- A bubble bath with lavander oil and soothing music in the background (who has a bath tub I could borrow?)
- A nice snuggly cuddle ... and a nice back rub
- Finally ...... someone to peel grapes and feed me as I lie in bed doing nothing but enjoying the rest of my lovely Sunday!
Wednesday, April 29, 2009
The look of someone sleepy & couldn't care less
Monday, April 27, 2009
Sunday, April 19, 2009
hmm, the answer lies just a little drive away from KL, in Cheras. Its the Look out point! Pretty near to 'little Genting' but even nicer as the have cafes and nice parking spots. Not to mention much safer than little Genting.
It was awesome that night. It was just after the rain, just after a delicious seafood dinner (loved the salted egg crabs) and all of us were high from pure laughter. We went to 'look out point' and there was mist! Exactly like Genting. Just the perfect weather .... a little chilly but not too cold .... sitting there by the excellent view of KL's night line .... with a nice cup of mango blended .... ahhh... a perfect little getaway!!
Wednesday, April 15, 2009
When ever you are not feeling well, or if there is something bothering you or if your brain seems to have stopped working or even if you are irritated to the brim with something, SLEEP!
I don't only mean your routine 6 or 7 hours of sleep, but more of a day's worth of sleep. And it never felt so good in ages! True, I may have been lacking in sleep for a while and stuff has been messing up my thoughts lately ... making me so easily irritated and groggy the whole day.
And a good sleep does wonders ... an afternoon in followed by a long nap .. followed by an early night in ..... That, my friends, is sheer pleasure! It just lightens you up! It brings back the sanity to your mind .. allows you to not worry so easily and prioritize your thoughts. It makes you realize that work is work but life is not all about work!
Monday, April 13, 2009
Where is my priority right now? I really don’t know … I know I want a steady structure and I also know I want a cushion I can fall back on. Its wise for me to secure my self right now but also wise for me to take a deep breath and analyze the situation. Should I choose to buy a 10 year financial plan package now or should I save up in the traditional FD for my retirement fund?
They say that opportunities only knocks once. And this one seems like a pretty good visitor. One that will of course give me happiness and show me a bright future or it might also be one who might bring me to the ultimate path via a short cut where I might hurt other people. So am I ready to meet this person who is knocking on my door?
Sunday, April 5, 2009
What ever it is, I left the cinema laughing …. Thinking ‘oh! How happy those two kids will be’ (you’ll have to watch it to understand it.
Anyway the highlight of the movie only came after the movie, finding our car at B2 G2. Yea, the bad thing about 1 Utama is that they close most of the exits in the mall, shut of most carpark lifts and lock the staircase entrances. Its like a trap … a fire hazard, unless you want to jump of the balcony of the 5th floor carpark.
So there we were, walking round and round 5th floor till we finally found a lift … that only brought us to ground floor. Well, better than nothing. We went to the ground floor and made our way manually to B2 only to walk around and around and around. With no guards around and no red coded pillars around, we were lost. And being stuck in the basement, a flooding hazard, I was sweating like a pig.
Thank god we had 2 guys with us. If not I would have freaked out! So our next most rational thing to do was, go back to the ground floor and walk along the road side. At least I get a better bearing of where we are and where we can head too. So yup, we were stuck at the new wing but our car was at the hotel. Whee ….. we walked along the highway and crossed roads, only to walk back to the basement of the unloading bay.
It was the only area that had lights. So back into basement one and we walked round and round, trying to find a ramp, a flight of stairs or a lift that brought us to B2. None!! It was stuffy and stinking of garbage …. I can’t imagine this is 1 Utama. And along the way, we bumped into a few other stray lost kittens like ourselves … what kind of management is this?
Finally we found a guard on a bike … showed him the picture of our parking spot B2 G2 (thank god for camera phones) and guess what!!! HE DID NOT KNOW WHERE IT WAS!!!
But he took one of my guy friends around on his bike, searching for the car …. And it took forever. In the end, we found out that they had to exit 1 Utama, go in through the One World Hotel carpark and only through the unloading bay to B2 G2. This is the ultimate underground maze! And this adventure took us almost 50 minutes!!!
A lesson to be learnt! Always park near the cinema if you are watching a midnight movie! Never trust ‘MORE PARKING’ signs that lead you from the new wing to the old wing to the hotel … and most important of all … always carry pepper spray as you’ll never know when you’ll be lost in the basement again.
Friday, April 3, 2009
Went to Pavillion, KL for an event that my dearest Annie organized. The Mumm F1 Celebration Finale Party 2009 ft Valiram Group. haha okok .... it was an eye opener for me to. Going for an event where everyone was dressed up, sipping champagne, snacking on canapes and posing for cameras (the formal style). There were good looking people everywhere ..... really really good looking ones ... hehe Hanna Tan was one of them. Even the waiters there looked so smart.
Of course ... what do you expect? Its was an event for socialites and high flyers ... and lots of expats. hehe so it was a privilege to be invited. Were any F1 drivers there? haha ... I would not even know even if I stood right in front of one.
But all I know is that there is no 1 definition for party. It can come in any shape, size, musical background, environment or the crowd around you. And all I know is that with my friends around, any party would be a great party.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
I would never forgive my self for waking up at 7am automatically on a day when i didn't need to go to work. Why can't this alarm clock switch off by its self? But the good thing is, I have never felt so awake when I am awake at 7am. So a nice slow breakfast and lots of lazing around later, I went for a music therapy workshop. Well .... it wasn't up to my expectation but I quite enjoyed it. They explained how different sounds sooth different emotions etc and even brought us through a 30 minute relaxation using music as a tool. Very cool!! And then there was massage with music and aromatherapy with music ... That makes the investment worth it.
And nothing beats spending your Saturday gossiping with good friends. So 3 of us girls went to KLCC Chilis and chatted the day away. Thank god for bottomless drinks. And ooh ..... the honey roasted chicken fillet really saved the day too .... so yummy!! Can't wait to go back for more. Its sweet yet sour with a tinge of spicyness. The fillet is so crunchy yet tender and juicy inside. Served with chips and margerine laded corn on cob .... its the perfect dish! Highy recommended ... can't wait for more!!
Food seems to counter any anxiety or stress you have. And when a surprise came from JB last weekend, what else could we do but eat? We girls went to Delixious for dessert ... sinful sweet stuff .... and just the thought of it in your mouth makes you happy! The sugar in it also gives you the extra energy and kick to do more stuff .... like shopping in Masjid India. hmm ... its something different. Walking around the shops, looking at Indian accessories, trying on sarees and Punjabi costumes ..... a totaly girlish adventure .... hehe. And to end the day, I bought my self a new suit! Not sure when I'll wear it though .... perhaps Deepavali?
Linda's Lemon Merangue Pie. Its crispy on the outside and the lemonish cream just melts in your mouth. Its so fresh and zesty!
Juliette's Chocolate brownie and ice-cream. If only I were this rich I'll be happy. It full of chocs and it has the bitter sweet feeling. The cake is warm and topped with ice- cream ... this dessert is just the best creation ever. My Berrilicious Chocolate Pavlova ... love the berries! So fresh and sour! Makes my mouth water. And the pavlova is just like rice crispies. Crunchy when you chew it but it just melts if you leave it on your toungue.
So we ended the day with food again. Saravanan Bhavan ...... serves excellent North Indian vegetarian dishes. Its really unique, the sweet Kasmiri naan, the blended spinach with cheese and the devil potato! Yum Yum. ooh ... I can't forget the mushroom curry too!
Wonderful weekend eh? Freedom + lots of weight gained!
Wednesday, March 25, 2009
But after 3 weeks of work non-stop, pressures and datelines, I finally had space to breath last night. The results could be seen but of course mess was kicked up along the way. Is everyone happy of the outcome? I don't know ..... perhaps we have become robots ... too mundane and too emotionless .... but now that the burden is off, a little pampering does well.
So it was off for dinner and movie with my best girl! Went to Italiannies for my favourite stuffed mushroom and cheese. It never tasted so good! And the best relaxer of all ...... gossiping with your best friend over good food! Oh, my stomach is growling over the thought of dinner now ....
So there .... you all know my weakest spot now! I'll do anything for Italian food and cheese.
Went to pamper my self more after that. Chick flick @ The Garden's GSC Signatures! We watched the premier of 'Confessions of a shoppoholic'. Well, the movie wasn't that great, but you get to learn a lot from it. If you pay attention to the dialogue, or morals .... its a great plot. Will analyze it soon.
But what I enjoyed the most was sitting on the soft big reclining chair and enjoying a good laugh .... perfect way to let go of all the stresses. Its worth the slightly higher ticket price hehe! Its been ages since I last watch a movie, Wall-e I think, so I really felt reenergized after that.
Thought my happiness will last for a while ..... but come morning, something happened in the office. No not me .... I am in safe territory, but it hurts to see the war around, the words that can slice you apart and the accusations that burns your ears. Hope tomorrow will bring an end to this war. But until then, I am left wondering. Will it rain or shine tomorrow?
Tuesday, March 17, 2009
Even with a good night's sleep I am still lethargic throughout the day.
And by night fall, I am pooped .... there goes my life.
By 8pm, I am not back home yet. By 9pm I have no mood for dinner. By 10pm, nothing in the world matters but my nice comfy bed.
When will this pattern end?
Short term, it will end by this month ....... long term ..... perhaps when we hold the white flag up.
I want to run and hide. But I am not made of glass. I want to switch of but the button in me is on auto on. I need to pull the plug but don't think other wise. I want to just forget but I am being flooded by the environment. I need an extra pair of hand but I can't find it.
In simple words .......... I am blah!
Wednesday, March 11, 2009
No doubt, work will be crazy this weekend. Friday ... lots of people to meet, Saturday & Sunday ... lots of politics to play. But when night falls ... its nothing but me and the 4 walls. Well, I might get bored and visit a mall or I might get a bag of chips and chomp it down while watching a movie ... we'll see how my mood goes.
But the past month has been pretty tiring for me. Bali was fun but energy draining. My terrible bug left me being dopey for another week or so. The office has been a mess since I was away and there are so many corrections to be done ... argh ... I hate back tracking things. Its recruitment time again and things are neurotic everywhere ... papers, calls, unrealistic demands, dreadfull calls and unlimited harrassments.
Friday, March 6, 2009
Since I came back from Bali on Monday night, I haven't been well. Definitely I will blog about the trip ... but not till my mind is back straight again. For the past 3 days, I have been sleeping at least 20 hours per day??? Felt like a pig ............. The fever came with a package .. vomiting, cought, sore throat, flu ... The fever never seemed to go away. Temperature was always high 102 to 104....... till this afternoon, felt a little better. Then came this whoozy breezy feeling ....... perhaps like what a junkie experiences (hehe, to tell you the truth, I don't know what that feels like)
During my trip in Bali, I climbed up to Mount Batur, a volcano, and hurt my foot during the process. But that is part of the fun. I was limping around Bali for the next 2 days. I was also stupid enough not to take care of the wound. So I went for hot springs, walk on the beach, play with wild animals, paragliding ... not bothering about the foot.
And you know how you never feel tired when you're having fun? I never felt sick while in Bali (tho there was once I actually felt like puking cos it was too painful), until I came home and feel ill. My leg actually swelled so much that I could not fit into my slipper. My whole body was heating up already ..... so I went for a tetanus jab. Yup, that cleared my mind a bit, at least now I do not need to worry abut infections ..... but the side effects are horrible. And I hope this fever dissapears soon!!
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
She loved the taste of the food, the ambience, the friends she went with, the memories and it turned out that the Fish & Chips was delicious. A Star restaurant became her favourite destination.She can't stop talking about it now, recommending it to her friends and wants to try the other varieties there. Only problem is that A Star is situated too far away from her home and she can't make it there on her own. The cost of the dishes there is also way too expensive.
So the only thing Nicole can do is to think about it. She held the memory about it as the best, tastiest, freshest and the dish that gave her the happiest smile. She never had Fish & Chips again after that as she didn't want another Fish & Chip to replace that of A Star's. In her mind, she is always imagining the crispyness of the fish.
She kept the name card of the restaurant for she has the hopes of returning. But once, her mother accidently threw the card away. She was dissapointed as it seemed to have broken the link of her and of A Star.
Time passed but she still held on to her wish of re visiting A Star. She still held on to not eating Fish & Chips. But now, she was invited to her friend's party in A Moon Restaurant to have Fish & Chips. And its an invite she can't refuse.
New taste perhaps? New ambience, new friends, new adventure ..... but a lot closer to home. She is afriad of going to A Moon. Not sure if the first bite of the Fish & Chips there will ruin the memory of A Star's. Not sure if the memory of A Star will slowly fade away. She is not sure if she will enjoy the party. While getting ready for the party, she didn't feel excited (like she normally will .... she felt it was a chore), instead she felt scared.
I have tried advicing her to think otherwise. I have told her that what remains in your memory will be there forever. But now I am lost for words. Nicole is actually on her way to A Moon now. What else can I say to her except 'Good Luck'.
What would you do?
Saturday, February 21, 2009
We went through the vigorous interview process together, sat through hours and days of trainings together, explored and drew up projects together, had fun and food together, our numerous crazy nights and gossips together .... all would not be forgotten. I still remember my last day when you guys made me cry ... EVIL. But now you guys keep making me smile ... ANGELS!!
Though a few of us have parted ways, we are all just a call away. And its really lovely to see all 19 of us back together again. Well, it might not be in a UOB meeting room but Italiannies seems like a good meeting place as well. The group was big, yup, it was difficult to talk to everyone. But yet we managed to share so much, update each other and laugh at each other.
Looking back, it was a good experience. A lesson to be learnt and a good story to be told. What impact it had on me .... I don't know. All I can say is .. NO REGRETS! Everything happens for a reason. And I am proud to have you guys as friends!
Wednesday, February 11, 2009
. now its time to get back to our daily routine ... wake up, go through the traffic, get to work, lunch in front of the PC, get off work when its dark, go through traffic again, eat dinner in front of the TV, read a book, go to sleep and it repeats itself again.
I even get bored by typing it. But I guess thats the sad reality of life. Work life gets routined. And like it or not, we have to work for survival. True .... some may say that you can make your work your hobby and enjoy it. That is the way you perceive it ... I really enjoy my job, no doubt ... but its just so time consuming. Week nights are taken up, weekends are gone for classes ....and in other words, there goes my life ....
And sometimes, the work just squeezes all the juices out of your mind. It just becomes a shrivelled up piece of dried prune .... its only purpose of existance is to keep you alive so you can go through the same old routine the next day. Perhaps working 8am to 9pm is normal for some .. but to do it non stop and to be the only one in the office holding the fort???? It can kill ......
So its really up to us how we want our lives to be like. Go out for a nice dinner with friends, go watch a movie or just laugh at someone .... it feels good. And once in a blue moon, when your long lost cousin comes to town ... go for a drink and gossip till midnight! You'll never know what your friends have to share .... you will learn a thing or two or even get enlightenment. hmm .... it seriously makes me ponder ...
But yes, work may be tiring, and after a long day at work, you just want to go home, take a shower and play with your dog. Just remember that it is up to you to put some life back in your life. Pick up that phone and make that date ..... its just amazing how friends can put the energy back into you poor limp and drained out body. My korean kim chi .....here I come!!