Sunday, December 28, 2008

Christmas blessings!

ooh! A happy and a merry festive season. What you make out of your holidays is what you'll actually get. Armed with the enthusiastic seasons cheer and a merry smile ... I conquered my holidays in the best way I can ever imagine it to be .... 

True, there have been talks of love and peace, but how many people actually live up to it? Are they too busy to enjoy the best things of life? There are also those who say that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost ... thats right too ... the religious aspects of it has been overcome by commercialization. The celebration of sacrificial love has been taken over by materialistic love. But yet, how you feel this love will determine how you enjoy your Christmas. No matter what happens, whether you see it as a chance to be with your loved ones or whether you choose to punish yourself and curse the world for its contemporary nonsense , Christmas is CHRISTMAS !! So be jolly, happy and merry!

A nice long break from work (erm .. officially only though), lots of great dinners and lunches and many more to come (many extra kg's came with that), shopping till your feet hurt, a fun outing with the coolest bunch of friends you could ask for, a crazy and MAD countdown to Xmas, dancing the night away, visiting your dearest friends, enjoying the smell of warm brownies from your oven, watching your cousin getting married (I wanna see the day the girls 'play' with the groom), celebrating my grandma's 84th birthday ..... ooh ... I love Christmas!! 

I actually felt the heat from the cake when I held the camera right above to snap this shot!

And new year is coming soon ... so here's wishing you the very best of 2009 and may you achieve whatever your heart desires!

Monday, December 22, 2008

In the mood for food

It's almost Christmas ... a time when you are thinking about love, about carols, about faith ... and also food!

So check out my new blog! And leave a comment or two ...
Let's link up too!

Saturday, December 20, 2008

My return home

Being a toastmaster has really benefitted me so much. It gave me much more confidence, improved my presentation skills, networking skills and so much more .... in short, I am a better person because of toastmasters. You won't know its benefits till you join it. I know it might sound like some cliched MLM program but this is truly how I felt about it. 

5 years ago I walked into toastmasters. I was then a shy girl with zilch confidence. Perhaps a 12 year old might be braver than me. But with great mentors and so much motivation along the way, I really gained more confidence. By organizing events and taking up leadership roles, I became so much more competent. There are too many people that I want to thank ... and you're always deep in my heart. And now that I've gained the benefits of it, I want to mentor b
ack others, I want to help others improve through toastmasters too.

And this morning, I went back to the club where I started my journey ... HELP University College Toastmasters Club. From a nervous first time speaker to a president and then a figure behind the scenes, I hold this club so dear to me. Its so sweet to be invited back there, to be looked upon as guidance, to be noted as a senior (sigh ... I know I am old). It was a very pleasant morning meeting .. friendly people, reunion with friends and a warm Christmas party. ooh ... something worth mentioning is the Christmas Yule Log. Yummy choc cake with Xmas decorations.

At times they tease me as the grandmother of the club... but at times I agree too. I feel proud when I see improvements in the other members. Just like how I envision it to be, a little flower bud blooming to become a majestic bouquet. All it needs is showers of confidence and motivation. I feel happy when I see others enjoying their toastmasters journey as well. And I specifically remember one of my mentees ... a perfect example of a shy boy developing to become a star in his own right. Though he left the country, his story always remain as the spirit of toastmasters.

Once again I remind you ... it ain't a scam to drag you in a MLM gimmick, suck all your money and friends  out and leave you in a ditch. Its a family that you join to improve yourself by helping others improve themselves. 
Don't believe it? Try it ....

Thursday, December 18, 2008

English is confusing

Doesn't matter what the dictionary says, but sometimes, some word definitions are best to be made on the streets ... only then will ordinary people understand what you mean.

Not to long ago, while out shopping with a friend, we were at a pharmacy and started looking a detox tablets. And the whole conversation went on about how effective it was .. or how other natural stuff works as well.

"I don't need it as I just ........" then the whole conversation stopped. Laughter broke out and the topic changed to language.

The million dollar question ..... WHAT IS THE PAST TENSE FOR SHIT?

Shat ??

I shat non- stop after I had that mamak meal?
I shitted this morning?

I sounds weird ... how can you say it without invoking laughter?
See? Language is an art!

Monday, December 15, 2008

Historic getaway

Sometimes its nice to just get away for a little while. Its always a change to get away from the desk, from staring at the computer screen, from writing articles, from answering the phones non stop, from eating the same old chap fan and drinking Nes-lo in the mornings while checking your email.

I went to Melaka last week. I was tired and bored in KL. Tired of waiting and tired of hoping. Its a nice escape to go to a place where there are excellent sites, good food and lots of sun & walking to do. Its great to dress like you're on a summer vacation, with sunnies and flip flops and just walk, not knowing where the street will lead you too and what treasures you might find along the way (hehe, Spanish guys not included). And the feeling is even greater when you do it on a week day (muahaha .... the thoughts of your friends and collegues working makes your break even a better one) 

Sights in Melaka was excellent. Those heritage nyonya houses were so extricately designed. I loved the gold and wooden back drops. I love the temples and the figurines. I love the tiles and antiques that gives you the wonderful memories.  Can you imagine sitting on the marble chair while enjoying authentic Peranakan cuisine? It feels like ...... being some one else (and I won't forgive someone for not charging the camera before returning it me)

3 meals in 5 hours, lots of driving, a trip to a dissapointing shopping spot but a great treasure trove ... I need to make more road trips like these.

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Jaz beer

Malaysia has indeed come a long way. I don't know whether to be hushed of it (seeing the political scene) or be proud of it ... well ..

Malaysia has produced its very own beer. Jaz beer ... weird name, but theres awhole wonderful story behind it. Named after a person, I really wish it would grow too. 100% local ....... Although the alchohol content is higher, at 5.5 %, the taste is extremely mild (or smooth, as I was quickly corrected by the Jaz people). Not being a beer drinker myself .. it seems plesant enough.

I went for a Jaz road show last night. Seeing its a new brand, not many people know about this beer. But its weird , the way they promoted it. Yes, it was fun with the giant inflatable beer bottle, their huge furry green mascot with legs that resembled CJ7 and a truck that extends to become a stage. But apart form the beer sales and the normal alchohol promo, they were raising funds for a Chinese school.

Yes, the thought is nobel .. and perhaps drunk people are more generous and will contribute more ... but its just that the channel is wrong. Imagine having a computer lab in your school sponsored by Jaz beer ... and the kids will be like 'ooo.... what is this logo on the computer? Jaz? I must try it out' .... so are we promoting drinking to the kids?

hmm.... I really wonder what the Jaz team was thinking?

Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Time is like a precious stone

Time is so valuable .... so difficult to come by. And it really applies to me ... I don't know about the rest ....  and I know it definitely is not a source to worry about for some.

When I was young ... time seemed to go by so fast when I was playing masak- masak
When I was a teen ... the perfect date seem to end so soon
When I was studying ... assignments were due almost immediately
When I am working ... tasks were due yesterday ... you had to learn how to juggle stuff

And now when time is running short, I can't stand it when people keep wasting my time.
(I might be a little grumpy these days)

but I don't like it when people force me to go for MLM meetings
I don't like it when you miss call me non stop only to chat about nothings
I don't like it when you make bookings for me without me knowing
I don't like to sit at mamaks for hours just talking about 1 stupid newsletter .. especially not when you were dragged out with a ton of work still left undone (Yay! retirees win hands down for whiling away time)

Thursday, November 27, 2008

Joycy's project

I have been on this crazy experiment for the past week.... absteining from MSN and Facebook. Well, I know it was a very sudden thing, a last minute a-ha! decision. And when I made it, I just closed all applications ... immediately. Without telling anyone where I was or what happened to me. my apologies if I worried you guys!

But I did it for a reason. Well, I actually wanted to do something crazier (some of you might know what it is). I know deep down inside that I will be partaking this  'task' for research and experience only. I know that I will be able to pull a stop when I want to. But there is this nagging feeling in me (and also many nagging voices beside me) that says ...'what if I can't call it to stop'?

Thus ... branch A of my master plan was born. I will take away something that I truly love for a while, and see what the feeling is like. MSN & Facebook! The greatest creation of man kind.  I wanted to feel how missing a part of you would be like ... how different it would be to break a habit and do something else ... how you would spend the times normally spent facebooking .... 

And the result? Well, I was pretty cool on the first day. Finding other things to surf on the net. Then on the proceeding days, I seem to hallucinate the little MSN pop up at the corner of the screen. I unconsciously click on the MSN/ FB icons (but of course I don't log in). Then after a few days I start giving myself so many excuses to need to chat with my friends. Even for people I don't normally contact .... the need arose! I felt socially ostracized. I missed being in touch with people, I missed being up to date.

As the days went by, the urge became stronger and stronger ... but since I set the timeline myself,  I had to stick to it. I found things to do to keep me occupied, to distract myself. Of course there was work in the office, I left office early so I won't have to face the computer so long, I went out with friends, cooked dinners, started knitting, read books (all to keep away from the pc at home). 

I know its a stupid experiment. Not the least likely to be able to gauge the feeling of having something taken away FOREVER! It was just a temporary measure. As I know I will get back my joys after a week, the abstenence was not that bad. But at least, I know a little of what it felt like ..... and if I want to know the effects of my master plan, I will need to multiply this feeling by a hundred.

And the conclusion on my master plan .... to be announced soon!
It didn't occur to me when I was FB-ing .... but as I was writing this report, something a friend said made so much sense ...
' Why defend our believes if we truly belief?'

Monday, November 24, 2008

O Christmas tree

My master piece ... Check out the one of a kind ornament that I put on the tree. It's white, has a tail and does not belong to my Mac. 
And oh what fun it is, to listen to carols, while having the cool air of a fake air conditioned winter, watching the Christmas lights blinking in front of me ...... oh how I love Christmas. And there are so many reasons for me to do so ...

1) Christmas carols
2) Christmas parties
3) Christmas trees
4) Presents under tree
5) Fruit cake and sherry
6) Wrapping presents
7) Shopping for presents
8) Seeing friends receiving your gifts
9) Photo taking with your friends
10) Santa Claus

Sunday, November 23, 2008

5 down 2 to go

I'll do anything for the sake of research ... or call me the guinea pig

I feel it, I know it
I'm getting weaker by the days
My fingers are feeble
My mind is astray ....

I'm hidden in the dark closet
With spiders as my best friends
I am crying alone in silence
Praying for the key to be found....

So this is what its like
Longing for something so dear
Unable to touch it while its near

So now I experience it
Not appreciating it when its right in front of you
Not enjoying it when the company is right with you

Absence makes the heart grow fonder
I do not want to lunch alone
I do not want to spend nights in silence
I do not want to be left out in the world

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Stupidity kills

Here is a little game for you .... guess which plaster is the new one? haha, the ironic  thing? Both my injuries are on my index finger, on the left and right hand. How could I injure those? They are oh so important for IMR ... sheesh ... no therapy for the next few days..

See those two cute little balls? Well, they are from .... and its all his fault I got injured while playing with them. They are actually key chains, with the metal ring attached on top. So when the first ball dropped off, he gave me the second ball. And when the second ball dropped off, I couldn't take it anymore. (see how fragile and useless they get, perhaps we don't need it but at times, they're fun to roll around) They needed taming, needed fixing.

No tools in the office, only 2 pairs of scissors to act as plyers. Well, it might be a little dumb .... infact very dumb to use the scissors to force open metal rings .... the result? 

Orphaned balls and wounded fingers ... no wonder I am typing so slowly.

Friday, November 14, 2008

Need to be responsible

Don't people know that having a pet is like having a kid?
Just like a baby, you need to spend time to care and love it.
You need to have the financial resources to feed it or clothe it.
You need to have commitment to teach it and train it.
You need to play with them to show them the human touch.

It is not merely walking into a shop and buying a doggie soft toy.
It is not just the thrill of opening a Christmas present and see a puppy inside.
It is a walking, living and feeling thing .... so think before you commit. 

It is not uncommon now. Foreign students who thinks that they are loaded, buys a designer dog, loves it while they are studying here and just dump them when they return to their home country. Leaving the poor dog lost on the streets, not knowing where to find food ... and worse, wondering where their owners, or parents are. Wondering when they will come back for them.

Those poor little things can feel the hurt too. Feel the pain of being abandoned. Feeling the hope that will be broken soon. Is this the right way to treat them? Don't they know that animals have feelings too? They have rights .... just like us!!

Oh .. those stupid irresponsible self centered beings that don't deserve to be called humans!

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Do you know him?

Received a surprise when I reached home after the weekend. When the car pulled up the driveway, I noticed that Zeus's bungalow was wrapped in plastic, as if a serial killer was quarantined in there. Put in the corner of the garden, it was dark and the jasmine bush was making it feel a wee- bit haunted. It was dark and drizzling ... giving it the effects of the spine tingling shudder.  Zeus's house has been abandoned as my little brat has taken over control of my house! And my room! So it was something fishy! 

Then I heard scratching sounds, and Zeus was barking like mad ... damn, dogs can sense these kinds of stuff easily. Freaky! So I took a peek. It was black ... and it smells .... 

hehe .... Do you know him? A lost dog followed my mum home. So if you know of anyone who lost a dog around Damansara Jaya, let me know. Mum found it on Sunday ... so keep a look out ya!

I suspect it does not have eyes as I can't see them. But its super cute when it jumps up your lap or stand on its 2 hind legs when begging for food. This little fella can really spin around too. But its no fun  that you can't use it as a foot rest or you can smack the fella as you're afraid you might break the bones ..... hmm, actually, there is no space big enough for you to put your whole hand. Big dogs are the nicest. Especially cute is when the big dog plays with the small dog. haha cute to see the big buffalo trying not to squish the small one. Or its funny to see the small one swept back when Zeus wagged his tail. 
So help me spread the word of this poor orphaned dog yea?

My utopian thought

Just got back from a trip to Singapore. And once in a while, I wonder if it is worth it? True, i get fun times, loads of it, but of course there are also the hassles. Perhaps there are signs going on around but you have to be quick to pick them up. Perhaps its an invitation for you to escape ..... I know its tempting but thats only a source of escape, not a long term one. 

I know that it is a learning experience, everything that I do I can benefit from it ... but sometimes you will wonder ... you will think, that why does have things got to end in a certain way. I was given a pre warning that what was falling on my lap was going to be a tough one. But I was optimistic ... I thought that with proper support I could do it. 

What makes me wonder is why some people cannot make work issues and people issues a separate thing? Fine , I know I am an emotional freak who makes decisions based on emotions. But what I mean is ... don't project your emotions on the people around you. If the situation brings about stress, just breath in and handle it with a clear mind. Don't go barking around and project your frustrations on others. Worst of all, don't go around accusing people of things and regret them later on. 

We all hate stress and wish to leave it quarantined but the truth is, we cannot escape it .... so just stand up to it. And if you look at it in a positive way, everything can be solved in a better and smoother way. If you take a deep breath and settle it as a team, things will be easier on you and definitely, solved faster too. DEFINITELY it won't spoil the mood of the people around you...

I know its a utopian thought, but people are there to help you, not exploit you. That says it all ... people skills are important. And how ironic is it that I picked up a book on people skills. A skill that should be taught to all ....

Bah ... there goes my day....

Tuesday, November 4, 2008


Whee! I did it again. Some reading for you.
If only I could write my name. 
Go check it out in Oh Health! Magazine
I think it will come out in the December 2009 issue,
or maybe it came out for the November one ... not too sure.
But to save you money, you can read it here.
And since the author does not get commission for every magazine sold,
 I give you full permission to read it here ...

Saturday, November 1, 2008

Learning from them

It will never dawn on you that you have problems until you search for them . And since its an underlying problem, something that doesn't bother you on a daily basis, let it lie low. Let it heal by itself as time passes by. Just make sure not to aggravate it furthur. But how would you know if your aggravating it when you don't know that it is there?

Nothing is too big a problem unless its bringing you immediate harm. Unless your problem is staring at you right at your face, like being in front of a raging bull or having no water in the middle of the dessert. Unless it threatens your life, why let it bother your pretty little face? With it or without it, you still have to live your life, so why not life it in the future and imagine the best out of it? Why stay back in the past and ruminate about solving old problems? .... thus leaving you vulnarable to new problems?

Some people might not agree with me. I am not asking you to avoid your problems and shun off responsibilities. What I am saying is that you should accept your problems with a positive heart ... and think of constructive ways to solve it. Don't let your problems pull you down ... but let your problem give you a lesson.

Yes, I admit that I have a problem, a problem that has been around for a long long time. But I did not let that issue bother my daily life. For years I've lived around it, learnt to cope with it for I know it can't be solved over night. It wasn't there at all ... until a situation called. And when the time came, I remembered this problem that was presented years ago. I re-evaluated ... only to see that there was an improvement. Time, did heal itself ...... Recognizing it again will help the situation.

We can't help it ... problems will be around us all the time. But its our choice how much we want to let it afffect us.

Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Happiness in a trip

Happiness is not going for a tour of Europe ... its being able to walk around and enjoy the scenes in your own backyard.

Happiness is not being surrounded by a party of friends who shower you with gifts .... its doing something and spending time with the people you care for. 

Happiness is not dining at the best 5-star restaurant ... its being to enjoy the taste and passion used to prepare a dish.

And a short getaway to Bukit Tinggi last weekend really gave me the picture of what happiness is. 

Saturday, October 25, 2008

The wonderful dark and silent world

Went back to YMCA for an event that my deaf friend organized. Though I am a super long expired member of the 'Friends of the Deaf' group, it is so sweet that they keep inviting me back for events. And so last night I finally went, for a movie : Hellen Keller.

Though I watched it before, its always inspiring to know how people with limitations are able to survive and even shine ever so brightly in life. Hellen was stuck with a disease and became both deaf and blind. All she could do before she met her teacher was to throw tantrums and have everyone around her taking pity of her. But her teacher, Annie Sullivan taught her how to be independant and gave her the will to succeed in life. And its amazing how Hellen acquired an honors degree. Truly respectable!

I really can't imagine living in a silent world. You can't hear people talking to you or can't enjoy music. You can't experience expressions or sounds of raindrops. You have to live a life where people will perpetually look down on you. I have heard for myself how people judge the deaf, thinking that I couldn't hear when I was with a group of deaf. If only the deaf friends knew, how would they feel? Or perhaps they already knew ... and got to learn how to live with it.

It is extremely difficult to find a job or to go around getting chores done. But yet, the deaf have managed to do so well in life, yet they mange to stay so optimistic. And sometimes even having a more optimistic approach than us. They tell us that being deaf is worse than being blind. I believe that that might be true. You can see people around, but you are actually alone. You can see things happening, but nothing can be heard. Its like watching a movie alone in a cinema, with no one around you.

Yet I treat my eyes as my most precious sense of all. Thankfully I am blessed. With them I get to see friendly faces and get to look at wonderful scenaries. I get to see where I am going or what I am eating. No doubt, sometimes feeling something would be greater than seeing something, but being able to do both is just a miracle.

Being blind makes you very vulnarable. You need to trust people and believe that they wont harm you. Anyone, can lead a blind to walk straight into the ditch. But I guess, humans would not take advantage of the less fortunate.

But being both blind and deaf at the same time, that takes great courage. Seeing how Hellen put in effort to learn, how difficult it was for her to understand, really makes you wonder just how strong a person's will can be. It shows you how much love has to be around that person in order for things to happen .

I've tried it before. Pretending to be both blind and deaf at the same time. And communicating was not easy. It took me forever just to realize that my friend was trying to tell me 'the box on the table'. You really have to feel the signs your friend is showing. And you'll realize how beautiful is the art of the deaf and the blind. You'll then realize how important it is for you to appreciate whatever senses you are blessed with. You'll then be amazed at how strong the human heart and mind can be. And definitely, you'll salute how the less fortunate become what they are today!

Thursday, October 23, 2008

Reunion of 2, or was it 3

Its a weird way how Micheal, Michelle and Nicole met. A weird weird way ... Or maybe it was how Michael and Nicole met, only to have Michelle come in the picture. Or maybe Michelle was there all along, only Michael thought he 'WAS' present. I guess we'll never know ... we've got to ask the creators themselves .... Michael, Michelle and Nicole. Confusing eh? I am too .... but damn glad of this whole picture.

It may have been 2 years since this complicated picture was drawn up, a result of our abnormal psych project. And I so so so love the video that we made. haha, Michael might kill me if I reveal the whole truth (but then again, Michael has vanished from the earth).

So the 3 people behind the characters met up for a reunion last night .... was eating and laughing non stop. Oh! our channels could not click as always and we just stared at each other and burst out laughing .... that summarizes the whole picture ... lame jokes and just laughter.

But Michael was so sweet and decided to enlighten us about dining ettiquette in UK. First you have your appetizer, then your main course. But then you have to have something in between to 'neutralize' your taste buds ...... so take a wild guess on what this is called????

Monday, October 20, 2008

Tourist in your own home

Its fun to be a tour guide once in a while. Bringing people
around to places you call home and showing them what locals eat.

In fact the best way to actually experience the culture of a foreign land is the do what the locals do. Go to places where they hang out and try the everyday things that they do/ eat/ talk about.

And that is exactly what we experienced the last weekend. A few of us brought our guest lecturer from the UK and a few Singaporeans out for a haunt of KL city. Well, not the tourist destinations but regular lepak places.

Because that is what I want to experience when I am in a foreign land my self. No doubt I would want to go to those famous spots for photo taking and for a memory of my trip. But what I really want is to hang out at road side stalls to try the good food, go shopping at alleys or markets to find bargains or walk along the streets to see locals in their everyday environment. Only then, can you see it from their eyes, the culture of the people. Only then, can you say you have BEEN to someone else's country.

Thursday, October 16, 2008

Twin happiness

Its always a good thing to start your day off with an unhealthy breakfast! And its a rare privilege too! Nasi Lemak!! So fattening and artery clogging but yet ... truly Malaysian! ooh, I love the taste of the egg yolk mashed in the sambal to be eaten together with the rice! Not that its difficult to find Nasi Lemak around here, but its just that I always wake up late and don't have the appetite for spicy food!

But this time, I got more than I bargained for. With my usual cup of Neslo and the pack of calories in front of my Mac, I opened the box and was welcomed by the smell of hot steaming santan rice. Its always a ritual to eat nasi lemak. And as I always do, I seperate the ikan bilis from the peanuts. Oh and throw away the ikan bilis with heads too .... can't imagine the thought of chewing on their heads. Then I scoop my sambal to the top of the box and is prepared to cut the boiled egg into half, take out the yolk and mash it into the sambal .... but


I was sort of disgusted. Wanted to throw the whole box away. There were 2 yolks in that 1 egg. No doubt it wasn't fertalized and no chick will come out. But still ..... eww, it could have been twins!! Or it might be a mutated egg. You might eat it and grow another head. Or one yolk might be chickless and 1 might be chick-ed. You'll never know ..... gross.

But after lots of encouragement that it's fine to eat, I did! And if you see it carefully, it might actually bring lots of optimism. 

You have two yolks instead of one. Nicer sambal paste! And how often do you get to see these kinds of phenomenas? And you were given this privilege.  An optimistic person will see it as double happiness. It might be that good things are happening to you. It might be that there is actually someone beside you all the way. It might also be that its a sign of prosperity. Once again ... you get to choose how you want to see it. 

I believe that what ever you do, there are signs showing you or guiding you. You will never be alone in whatever issue that you are facing. It might be a friend, the media or even some stranger on the road. Say for example I cannot decide between going for a social outing or to attend a workshop. Then I so happen meet a long lost friend who mentioned about another friend who I was supposedly to meet for the social outing. See .... the decision was guided for me. And the outcome ...... heheh I collected a long forgotten debt! 

Back to the egg yolk issue. I chose to see it as I would receive two pieces of good news. Although I have only received 1, but the law of the twin yolk says the other will be coming. Though I receive many many through out the day ...... the twin yolk has been a blessing!

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Great optimism

One day a wealthy gentleman took his son to the country to show him how the poor lived.

Upon returning to his luxurious mansion the father asked the son if he learned anything.

"Well," the son began, "I saw we have one dog and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the garden, and they have a creek that has no end. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have an endless horizon. We have lanterns in the garden and they have the stars at night. We have servants who care for our needs, and they serve others. We buy our food, they grow theirs. We have walls to protect our property, and they have friends to protect them."

By this time the rich man was speechless.

"Thank you, father," the boy said, "for showing me how poor we are."

Weird feelings

Fear is normal in all human beings. I remember being afraid when I did something wrong for mummy might smack me. Or later, I had a feeling of fear when I was to take exams or the first public speaking on stage or of going for the first job interview. Its kind of like little butterflies in your stomach. And its kind of nice as it spurs you on to do better. Sometimes it can be a motivation for you to even work harder to get rid of those butterflies. 

I kind of like those positive stress but sometimes those feelings get mixed up with other feelings and those butterflies might turn into some type of nerve wrecking moths that eat up your stomach linings. I just had this weird and unexplainable feeling in me the whole weekend. It was like fear, anxiety, uncertainty or nervousness. It might be six sense (which I don't have), my feelings of guilt for abandoning Zeus for 3 nights or heart burn from the tom yum I had previously. I really don't know. 

Sunday, October 5, 2008

It's your own life

And since your life belongs to you, its really up to you to arrange what goes on in it. You have a choice as to whether you want to live a productive life, a happy life or one that its filled with misery. Well, I definitely have drawn up how I want to live my life ... my happy life, and nothing can stop me from doing that. hehe .... only a few would have seen how I sacrificed and what I did to whatever that stood in my way to leading a happy life.

I guess I have the authority to say this .. 'Be firm in your principles'. When you set your heart to do something, don't give up so easily. There will bound to be road blocks along the way but you just have to be courageous enough to overcome it. I know, it may be tempting to go with the flow of the blocks, but where will it lead you to eventually. Are you willing to stray so far away from your original goal, not knowing how you will be able to bounce back on track?

True, there are times when we are just dragged by the collar to the road of uncertainties. But if you look hard enough, there are alarm clocks all around you. Things or people that can wake you up or slap the sense out of you. So when faced with life's blockages ... just remember ... FOCUS!

Thursday, October 2, 2008

9 Emperor Gods Festival

Have you wondered why it rains everyday? Every year around this time, I know its not a good time to plan for BBQs ... it always gets thwarted by the rain .... or my mum's rheumatism will kick it. But we know it will only last for 9 days. 

hehe, I decided to be a good girl and went for prayers instead of the regular shopping malls and coffee chats. Went to the 9 Emperor Gods Festival in Ampang. Its really great to absorb the sights, sounds, colors, environment and culture. And it brings back good memories ... I know I am weird but I love smoky temples and the smell of incense. I am used to the burning of joss sticks and 'money'. And the sound of the 'chim' or fortune sticks just makes me feel so at home. hehe ..... long story.    

Anyway, I went for this festival,it is to celebrate the return from
 heaven to earth of the 9 Emperor Spirits and the Taoist goddess of the sea and queen of heaven (no wonder its th
e wet season). And its a beautiful celebration.

I went once for a procession at night.

People were carrying chariots and devotees were chanting while walking along the roads. People were walking on coal barefoot and climbing up really steep poles. This year round, I went in the day time. Saw so many things! Many devoted people, arts, fortune telling and even Chinese Opera! Though it was hot and I was melting (of all days I wore a long sleeved black shirt), it was really an eye opener for me. Its like being a tourist, or a Chinese for the first time, o
r my first encounter with a temple. Its just magnificent. Culture never ceases to amaze me. 

Monday, September 29, 2008

I was electrocuted

I've been on a high lately. And its a positive high. Since I've started my diploma course in Clinical Hypnosis, I seem to want to know more about it, ....and thats not all, things that happen around me or stuff that people say will all , either directly or indirectly, have a tie related to hypnosis.

A friend was complaining about headaches the other day and how it goes away when she gets distracted. She mentioned how it comes to her when she is alone or when stressed ... BINGO! It hit the perfect spot for a conversation on hypnosis. Then just last night I went out with a relative who was a heavy smoker .... the wife wanted him to quit smoking so badly, and again, I brought up hypnosis. hmm....... is it coincidence or what???

But like a friend said 'every thing happens for a reason, there is no such thing as coincidence'.

To make me even higher, a course mate brought an EEG machine to our office. For those of you who are blur, it is an Electroencephalography machine. As the name says it, it studies your brain functions through electric currents. haha .......... being a wee- bit adventurous, I volunteered to be the subject. I was fixed up and attached with all sorts of wires, have wires clipped to my ears, have patches stuck on my head and was prepared for the worst to happen ......... the ELECTRIC CHAIR ...

Only that this wasn't the death sentence, it was the comfy recliners in our office. So I was put into trance and the machine could see how deep my level of trance was. It could gauge my brain waves and could see my level of activities. hmm, for those who know, I hardly reached the tetha level or a sign of trance), instead, my mental activity was high and I was thinking too much ..... even though I was physically relaxed and emotionally calm. The verdict .............. I was kinesthetic and the Healing White Light didn't work for me ......... too much processing.
A really good experience. I really can understand now how different techniques will work differently on different people. Then over the weekend, we had a hypnosis class as well ... explored a great deal of it with Peter Mabbutt, director of studies for the LCCH and also author of Hypnotherapy for Dummies! Such a great lecturer and it was great to have hime teach us about depression and selective amnesia ... ooh ....... its a wonderful journey into the world of hypnotherapy.

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Journey down south

Back from a great adventure. I battled dragons and sat on flying saucers .......... NOT! But this was a different adventure. And adventure of learning and of experience. A chance for me to grow and to explore my future ... as to what it holds for me? I'm not sure too.... thats why my life is always an adventure.

Had my first diploma in Clinical Hypnosis weekend in Singapore. Was down for studies and work as well. And it was a good experience for me. I am really thankful for this opportunity. It really allows me to see both inside and out of me. Both things near home and far from home. hmm, I guess SG is not really far from home. But what I mean is the difference in exposure. You'll feel a different kind of confidence. You'll have the kind of good pressure to perform, the kind of positive stress that pushes you to go the extra mile. I've always wanted to go abroad for studies. But circumstances forbade ........... and being patient has paid of. No doubt its just a strait away, its still overseas! Yay!! I get to travel! A dream I always had and a wish that I am glad is slowly realizing.

hmm, juggling time for both duties wasn't an easy task. At times you lose your concentration and maybe even focus. At times, you may even lose part of your mind. But thats ok, because being in the adventurous mode, there's always time to explore the place you are at.

On my first night, I explored Orchard road. From my hotel on one end, I walked to god knows where. Watching people, how they dress, how they act and how they seem to rush around ... is pretty interesting. Especially when you have nothing to do except to hold a bag of chips in your hand. haha, ultimate pleasure. Then on the second night, I did some sight seeing with a friend. Toured along the highways of the island only to find out how small the place is. But its interesting that all good things can come in small packages.

Had some good dinner in South Beach!!! Was really stuffed but satisfied. Needed to burn the stuffings up by going to a walk. By the beach! And its so good to feel the sea breeze, in Singapore! Though it was a tiny beach and might not have such a good view during the day, it was a beautifully organized place. There is a bicycle track, tents for you to pitch and barbeque pits too... The whole place feels so 'vacation-ny'. hehehe imagine if it were in Malaysia? Vandalized ...

And I had the privilege of cruising along the actual F1 Singapore track. And its so cool. With the barriers all around, and stands for the spectators everywhere, it felt as if we were in the spot light. The strong lights were shining down on the car and the road. It just gives it the racing fever .... right in the center of Singapore city, or at least at Marina Bay.

Ended my trip by a short visit to my friend's place in JB. And its always fun to just chat away to just about anything. And traveling in a journey out of the ordinary. Like I said, things are not as simple as what your eye may see. But the biggest surprise it yet to come. Hidden right at the backyard were puppies!! Ooh! the highlight of the whole trip! Four fat little furry cuties. If only I could kidnap one home. They are at the cutest moment of their lives! About 3 weeks old, with cloudy eyes and can hardly see their way. hehe, they look so cute when they walk aimlessly into one another or when they try to helplessly climb up from the ditch! How nice if puppies don't ever grow up. If only they could stay at that age to bring smiles to everyone and to melt hearts to be peaceful and loving ............... eeeeeeeeeee ...... puppies have a way of making you high! I want one!!!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

The wait is over

Finally, after 49 months of waiting. I finally got what I want. And this wait was a long and painful one. But you know the old folks always say, "Good things comes to those who are patient". And in this case, I really agree to it. The wait was well worth it.

I still remember four years ago. I was a little sceptical then, on whether I should do it, after hearing so many horror stories and of all the bad experiences that others have been through. But for the sake of future .... the sacrifice is worth it. I mean, we've all got to plan, look into the future and invest for the best. In everything that we do, we have to sacrifice. I mean seriously ..... think about it, no pain no gain. 

Yes! Only 1 word says it all .....bwahahahaha (OK, that wasn't a word, it was an expression) But I'm too happy! Want to know the reason behind my joy? You've got to wait for the news from the horse's mouth

Monday, September 15, 2008

A merry go round

Never stop being amazed at the things that you can see, hear, learn and do around you. There cam a point in my life where I thought life became dormant. My days back then were all about a 9am-9pm job. People that I met were all about business and more business. My social life had to be put on hold, my friends and family even became secondary to me .... but like I said, that was the past.

I admit, it even says so on my recent 'reading', that I was blinded by the artificial life. I was living a life not being true to my self. I wasn't even happy back then ..... I wasn't even able to listen to what I really want. And now I know that I should not dwell on the past. True .... I think too much, and it might be a big problem for me if I keep occupying my head space will things thaat I can no longer touch or change. So why not choose to learn from it? Which is what I am doing ....

Life has been a complete turn around for me. This lunar year really brought about a new Joyce. One that knows the meaning of life, emotions and goals. I never know how to see if its a good year for me based on the Chinese zodiacs but I know that it has brought great change. I know know what I can work forward to, I now know who my true friends are, I now know how to love myself, I now know the most important thing in my life.

Things have come and gone these past 9 months. And I think I have become stronger and more experienced. I see better, though not the best. I have had wonderful conversations that open up my eyes. And it has really widen my horizon. Helping me to see things that are there .... but I could not see. So take a tooth pick and jam those eyes open!! Life is limitless in front of you!!

And the most important thing is that I know how to appreciate the things around me, to learn from it and to grow with it. And you should too.... 

Sunday, September 7, 2008

The verdict @ Alexis

It may have passed some time ago but the memory and the lesson learnt will forever be with you. Well, not exactly that long, but 2 weeks ago. I am talking about the speech workshop that we conducted. We just had a post mortem meeting cum dinner the other night @ Alexis. I was definately looking forward to this event, for 2 reasons ..... the good food and the feedback of the whole workshop.Oh ... the venue was heavenly. It was an ambience that was cosy and yet contemporary. Simple grey furniture amidst a grey background. Hanging cupboards with utensils were hanging around, giving the feel that you were dining in Ikea's show room. And it was the open kitchen concept. Its so fun to see the chef baking your pizza or making stew in their copper utensils. haha ... no more horror stories of chefs spitting into your food. 

If you like chic dining, then this is the place to be. Ooh
 ... I love the taste of their mushroom pizza. Its so crunchy and fresh. Garnished with raw herbs, all the natural flavours oozes out. And the cheese ..... so so rich! Also must try is their bruchetta with sun dried tomatoes and balsemic vinegar. Its amazing how they make it so soft yet so full of flavour. Ah, who could go to Alexis and not try their Tiramisu? Lip smacking! There is the hint of liquer on the layers of moist sponge. And the taste of the coffee emulco, added on with the chocolate shavings just makes it so tempting
. Topped with glazed almonds and served with raspberry sauce at the sides, the tiramisu was the highlight of the night! Well, so was sipping white wine and chatting with your friends over jazz in the back ground.

But the verdict was out. The participants did their evaluations and the more senior toastmasters were ready to give us all some pointers or two. Well, its my first speech workshop after all and the others, are trainers by profession. Still alot to learn. Overall, I must say that the team did extremely well in the coordination and logistics. Its just amazing how we sailed through the whole 2 days with out hiccups and how everybody knew and performed their tasks supporting each other. All of us evaluated the participants when they spoke and they were really appreciative of that. But by the end of the two days, all of us had dry throats .... hehe

I am very proud of my session as well. I had good feedback from both my seniors and the participants. My topic was on impromptu speaking .... that means, how to speak without time to prepare. Tricky eh? But I went up with confidence and gave some pointers and techniques. I was the first speaker of the workshop, and was very nervous (lucky it did not show), as the first speaker will either make it, or break the whole workshop. hehe ... I guess its me, but I get the kicks out of speaking up in front. Its addictive. At first I thought I was being a bore as the participants were just staring at me. It did comfort me a little as some were taking notes. Then came the Q & A session. I thought to my self, 'oh no .... pin drop silence'. But people kept on asking and asking non- stop. Even the COO of some MNC asked ...'How do I answer my boss if I don't know the answer?' Then this VP of some resort asked 'how do I not sound stupid if I can answer immediately'. Haha, this is where my expertise comes in ..... Crapalogy!! 

Fortunately, I handled Q & A well. The emcee even had to stop the questions from coming. Its a good sign. But I definitely need to pick up facilitation and time management skills. The trick is, when faced with tough situations like this (imagine a young exec trying to teach a COO how to handle the boss?), take a deep breath and stay calm. The answers will just flow to you. And it helps if you've got reassuring team members. Looking at their smiling and nodding heads, I knew I was going in the right direction. hehehe ..... public speaking does give me the adrenaline rush!

So Deloitte Speech workshop, here I come!!

Friday, September 5, 2008

I need music!

Overdose of music ... and if you see me now, its nothing but a big silly grin on my face. It must be the weekend bug that is coming ... or the many many activities that I want to do. 

So here I am, listening to More than words by Extreme. Oh, such a wonderful piece. Oh, how I love a cappella. Makes me want to learn guitar. How nice it would be to be strumming this piece when you are out for a camp fire with your friends. So its a deal Ahmad ..... we will be learning how to play the guitar. No running away! And it begins on Monday .... provided I can get my hands on it.

Here I am, listening to Hey Jude by the Beatles. Such a simple and yet imaginative song. Its definitely going to be on my select list at Neway tonight. Its amazing how the different band members synchronize to make such a wonderful song. 

Here I am, listening to Because I am a girl by Kiss on piano. oooh .... such an emotional and touching song. If only you had watched the movie, I think this piece can move you to tears. Listening and watching the grace and the tempo of the musicians is just such an awe.

And I found a new love ... downloading all the good songs on You Tube. But do beware, it can get you addicted and make you want to head right to the music store and sign up for classes. Its just such a wonderful way of expressing yourself. You can share your feelings through whatever piece you want and let those around you join you in this wonderful state that you are. And music is able to transport you to a world beyond your imagination. This, I cannot explain, you have to feel it for yourself. Everyone's imagination is unique  .... 

Argh ..... Ahmad! You created a junkie in me! I need music!!! There is so much I want say, so much I want to feel so much I want to write  ....  but I can't. I'm distracted by the song Jessie by Joshua Kadison blasting right beside me. Tonight is music night Ahmad!  And no matter what, you've got to sing!! We'll make sure you do!!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

What do you want?

The world is one big playground. No, I am not talking about our hilarious political situation. And yes, everyday in life, whatever you are doing or where ever you go, you never cease to entertain yourself (it won't sound wrong if you don't think wrong).

The last weekend was a nice long break for me. Something that I really needed, time to just chill out and become a log. Time to just reflect on what I really want in life. Time to think and express yourself.

There were outings and there were late nights. There were panda eyes and some not so pleasant moments. But who can actually brag that their live is a painting drawn with pure gold and silver linings? Someone actually told me, the reason why in religion, we are called 'lay people' (or fan yan in cantonese) is because we have to think. We have to go through suffering, through confusion and through tribulations in order to survive and to succeed.

It is not often that we get to sit down and think of what we want. Often times we are preoccupied with work, with chores and with desperately finding ways to entertain yourself (again, don't think dirty). So much so that we often move without focus. You wouldn't want to be 30 one day and suddenly realize that ......... all this while, I am not doing what I want. What is the purpose of just living for the sake of tommorow? Why not live for the sake of the future? Know what you want, how you want it to be done and when you want it done?

Monday, September 1, 2008

Speech Craft @ PMP

Last week was a week of extremely good opportunities. Though it was a little tough, preparation of materials and taking time off for meetings, practices and the event itself ... every thing was worth it ... and even more so in the name of experience. I was really glad to be given a chance to do this and it was certainly an eye opener for me.

Together with a few fellow toastmasters, the D'Utama Toastmasters Club conducted a Speech Craft to PMP. It was a group of Project Management Professionals ... well, some of them are pretty big names in their industries as well, being COO's and VP's and all. But they were all very friendly and humble. Making the 2 day workshop very fun and interactive.

There were lots of talking and evaluations on our side. Well, basically it was a workshop on speaking and presentation skills and my topic was 'Impromtu speaking'. A very interesting topic and useful for everyday life too. But one thing I can tell you for sure is that being the first speaker of the event is always very very creepy. You either make it or break it! And also, you don't know your audience well, so making connections ain't easy ... but phew.... it went on pretty smooth.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

A need for excitement

I was watching an advertisement for an insurance company last night, can the theme was 'to do something different every weekend'. Sure, 54 different activities might not be that difficult to find. But have we got the time, the people and the money to arrange all of those? 

Ok! So it might be bungee jumping! Great fun with adventure and perhaps a cardiac arrest. But do we need to really go through all the pain to only blow a few thousands and get traumatized in life and only satisfy 1 weekend of activity? We often crack our head to think of things to do ... a picnic, a trek in the forest, a big cook out and the list goes on .... but these things require effort to plan. Don't get me wrong, these are great ideas and we should do it one day. What is puzzling me is, how about the cheap thrills in life? Or the simple pleasures of living. 

(oh .. I can hear my ex- boss saying ..'One of the simple pleasures of life is having a nice poop in the morning'. Nice description)

What got me thinking is that I was walking along the corridor of UM last week. It was a boring gloomy day of class. And there was this little girl, about 3 or 4 years old. And she was having the time of her life. She spread her arms and ran around like an aeroplane, just screaming away and having the time of her life. How could something so simple, entertain her? And why can't we as adults just find simple enjoyments of life?

I still remember when I was very little, there used to be this foyer, like a catchment area in my grandma's house. It will fill up and become a pool when it rains. So we will quickly block the drainage area and make paper sail boats. We will make hundreds of paper boats only to have my grandma run after us for wasting paper. But the sight of those boats, bobbing up and down the water was just so entertaining to us! Oh how I miss those days of simple pleasures and pure excitement. And yes, I did make a paper boat last week for this little 'pool' in UM last week. 

So I think its time we learn how to 'un-complicate' ourselves. We do not need a flashy car, or tons of cash or a high-tec gadget in order to have fun in life. Go on, enjoy the things you do everyday ... find novelty when you chop your veggies up during dinner or do a dance when you mop your floor. Learn to observe the thing around you when you go for your jog and you'll realize how everyday is a different adventure!! 

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Birthday wishes!

Yup, its another year older for me .. perhaps getting some cob webs around my legs or some rust up in my head. I guess you could have seen the signs .. .. .. I am aging and soon you may start to call me aunty. Well, its a sign when you can't recall and of your kindergarten friends or when you got your first Barbie doll .... Sheesh!! That was eons ago, how time flies. And soon, it will come a time when I can't even remember whether or not I had my lunch.

But my birthday last Tuesday was great. Had many friends who wished me happiness and so many wonderful things. It was so good to even heard from long lost or far away friends. Its so good to know how true friendships were built over the years and how memories remain. It was really so sweet to receive those calls and to read those SMSes. Its feels so  warm to know that so many people around you care for you.

Last Sunday, I had a birthday party with 2 other August babies. Karen who shared the same day as me and Jen, who was 2 days earlier. My closest mates were there and it was so good to meet up, catch up and take whacky pictures. Thank you all for being there and I loved all your presents!! We went to Cave in SS 2. Well, food was good, ambience was cosy .... but I had an eerie feeling of that place. Sort of claustrophobic. 3 levels of restaurant and only 1 entrance? Not even windows ... nowwww... imagine if there was a fire ... 

Then on Tuesday, the office celebrated for me. Got an Oreo cheese cake & I shared it with our intern, Patrick who is an August baby too. Leo's rock! Haha ...... imagine. 6 people and 1 whole Secret Recipe cheese cake? We stuffed our selves to the max. But all those calories burnt up well .. there was baseball, arm wrestling, fighting and so many other physical activities. I guess we just got a little high on sugar.

So I ended the day with a nice dinner with my parents. Seafood!! Yum yum... We had Kam Heong crabs and some kind of sweet & sour prawns. They were so fresh and all finger licking good. I could be full just picking and eating the crumbs of the dishes. But part of the fun of eating seafood is getting your hands dirty and digging in between the crustacean shells. hehe, I know I am a very slow eater, but its been a long long time since I've sat down and had dinner for more than 2 hours. hmm .. a very satisfying birthday!

Monday, August 18, 2008

Adventure in Pahang

Pretty out of the ordinary outing. Yes .. we are getting more and more adventurous. No more boring movies or girly shopping trips ... time to get all physical, sweaty and adventurous. And there is no better time than now to get this rolling .... the local fruits season! Cert 5 Outing 4 ...Durian plantation in Tras, Pahang.

So off we went, set of at 9.30 am and thanks to Jared's van, we had a joy ride along the Karak. Making noise along the way, laughing non stop and poking fun at each other. Soon we reached Bentong .. and we needed a stretch, so what other better way to enjoy a pit stop other than food? We had Bentong's famous Wan Ton Mee, and some Chinese style Indian rojak with chili padi. Not to forget the drinks. It was delicious ... Lemon Lime juice, imported from China! Cool and refreshing ....

Back to the road ... so we hit the long and winding road. And thanks to a skillful driver, we reached safely. And thats where the adventure began .. into the plantation. So we had a trek along the muddy tracks, along the stream flowing parallel and through the lalangs and under the trees. It was like walking into ...'your favorite place of relaxation'. 

Thanks to the crazy bunch, Jared, Teng Loo, Kenny and Patrick ... our fst activity was to climb trees. I thought I couldn't, but I could! And the feeling was great! It feels different when you are above ground level. You seriously feel so good up there .... even if the journey up wasn't that pleasant.... like being laundered on the tree as if you were a carpet. Then soon, after much struggling, all 5 of us managed to sit on the tree ... then suddenly " Ah joy .... lok lei ar .. lau leen teet lok lei ar". In other words, my aunt scolded us as what we climbed was a durian tree, bearing fruits. hehe and if it drops on any of us ...... 

Then thats where the work started. We climbed the hills to hunt for durians, walked along the sides to search ... it was great. And the durians were heavy. I really salute those gatherers who manage to collect so many and bring it down at the same time. Durian runtuh man!! Then back at the hut, my uncle taught us to identify the different types of durians. D2, D24, Chuk Kiok, Lai Yau etc ... and how we had to 'groom' the durians. An enlightening educational trip. 
Only 1 part done.... then we went laici plucking, and rambutans too. While plucking, we ate, and while eating, we threw stuff at each other.  hahaha.... the poor tree ... and the poor immature kids. haha, I bet my aunt and uncle gave up hope on us. 

And then came mangoesteen plucking and picking. That was tiring. We had our professional plucker, Mr Jared ... and many professional gatherers. ooh ... the harvest was great. We had bucket and buckets of it. And while collecting, we had tons of freshly picked mangoesteen. Yum yum! The Japanese breed was the nicest. Sweet and crunchy! It was so fun .... climbing under the tree, hiding inside and climbing up the branches. All was great ... until the leeches attacked! haha, and we were like mosquitoes to repellent, staying away from the trees. A very memorable way to end our plantation adventure.

So back to the house, where we opened durians and had loads of it! Ah, fresh, tasty and finger licking good. I never had so many at one go! Yum Yum ....haha, we ate until we went high. Laughing non stop and eating even more. Soon it was time to go, and my uncle gave us all our collections. Lucky we had a van, so we loaded in durians, mangoesteens, rambutans, laicis and chempedaks..... oh! and my special 'fake D24'. All mine wahaha ... I pity the trees.

Our next stop, the ever famous Kow Po ice cream. Had my peanut & choc ice cream. Ahh, my trip was more than worth it. I didn't recommend wrongly did I? So after a stuffed stomach, we were searching for more stuff to stuff it with! Wild meat!! 

Went into the village for the hunt. Not the hunt of the game, but the hunt of the shack that serves it. And it was worth the hunt. Well, I am not a big fan of meat, but its fun to be adventurous once in a while. had frog, civet cat (with bullets still in it) and wild boar. hmm, something different and memorable of course. Great way to end the night! 

And the post effects may not be the nicest. A foul smelling car or fridge, a bloated tummy and sore muscles from excessive tree climbing. 

Tuesday, August 12, 2008

Unity among the MAs

I need to check the alignments of the sun, moon, dates and everything. Why are so many things happening lately? I don't know if this is good or bad ... but I just had a feeling. It was like nostalgia for me ... 

Received a piece of news from my UOB MA group. History repeated itself. We were united as the Management Associates of 2007 and damn proud of it. I thought I had achieved my dream. But as the months went past, I decided to be the hero and break free from the group. Marking the first in UOB history ... hehe... though I made up my mind it was difficult to leave. On one hand, I felt that I needed the change and to respect myself and do the things that I really wanted to do. On the other hand, I couldn't let go of the identity and the sense of belonging. I must admit that there was some sort of withdrawal symptoms. 

I felt lost at the time I was in the bank. I gave up so many things and made loads of sacrifices. I wasn't the ME I used to be and my friends said that the bank kidnapped my soul. Come to think of it, I was foolish in that period of my eyes. But of course, something clouded my vision then. No one deserves to live like a puppet ... so I left ... and another misery clouded me for sometime. Perhaps I am not that good at adapting. But it took me some time, and with the help of the wonderful people, I bounced back .. at least I think so, until now. The feelings are back ... and I hope it won't be the same for her. 

It was a difficult period, watching the group from the outside. Though you might be with them, there will be a divide. Though you know the ins-and-outs, it feels like you're watching the drama on TV.  I know they always say, 'Once an MA, always an MA'. I hope that stays. 

Monday, August 11, 2008

Proud of it

My first article out in the press ...... though not cover story, I am sure proud that it got out. Yup, and after all the hard word, many many calls, hours of shifting through photos, editing and stress , I finally get to see the fruit of the labor.
Go check out the New Straits Times on Monday 11th August 2008. Only thing is, I want my name there in the future. hehe ...

Might be a virus

Depends on how you see it, it might be a virus that has hit me, or so my friend says. But not to worry, though it might be contagious, its not a disease ..... its an idea or a spurt of awareness. What ever it is, it leaves me curious, confused yet inspired. And I am not too sure where this 'virus' will lead me to. 

Recently I started exploring Oracle cards. And it seems magical. Its healing with the angels anyway. For whatever card you draw ... the guide is only limited for you. Thus, it depends on how you interpret it, or how you feel it relates to your questions. What you see might be different from what others see. Subjective right? But it boils down to YOU. What you feel, how you see it and 'you think it, you do it'. And I love it! I don't want to be fed with an answer. I want to ponder and explore for my answer. When I referred to my Oracle cards for the question playing in my mind ... it seemed to read me. It helped me see something that I was distracted by. It helped to pull me back down to earth (though I am a very realistic person myself). 

So many things have been happening lately. And I can say that it all affected me. Back to back activities, both at work and in life, interpersonal relationships, life responsibilities and all. I used to be able to juggle myself well ... but now, more balls have been added to my circle. I've got to learn to be swifter, more efficient ....... or perhaps let go of the older balls? I'm not sure yet.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Don't bug me, I bite!

Not often people get to tick me off so easily. Especially since I was in a good mood for the past few days. But this makes me mad .... how ridiculous could it be? Please realize that you are not the only person who feels stress, you are not the only one who has work to do and you're definitely not the only one who wants the best of things.

Wanting the best is alright, but please look at the scenarios around you. Don't push, when the cup is already over spilling. You wouldn't want it to burst. Don't force your way through as things get get tighter along the way.

But what really ticked me off is that you should never assume that others can read your mind or others know what you want. If you want things done your way, TELL .... don't assume. Don't go shooting other people because they didn't do what you thought of doing. Don't tell the begining of the story and expect others to know what the ending is.

Imagine me thinking of eating spaghetti carbonara for dinner tonight. Thats the only thing I can eat because I feel like eating creamy stuff. And when I go home, I don't see carbonara on the table, I start biting people. Who's to blame? Are those at home supposed to know what you want or what you feel? Aren't you responsible for letting other's know what you want? Well, I am the chef today ... being bitten for not knowing I should cook carbonara.

Why does this have to happen How utterly timely. I predicted something would happen today, and it did. The the effect of the 'day before' .... and it sucks. Sigh ... I can predict more days like this to come. Got to start marking my calender.

Thursday, August 7, 2008

You'll never know

Things might become mundane and you might get bored of doing the same old things. You might be tired of meeting the same old people or going to the same places. But you'll never know when chances will fall upon you or when you might suddenly meet someone who can actually bring you further. So never give up and keep on going. Keep exploring as every minute is different. So its true .... life is a journey that you'll never get bored of.

Yesterday night was pretty much of a typical toastmaster night for me. I always loved going to Deloitte's meetings. There was of course the fun and the learning part to it. Met friends whom I always meet and went for the usual after meeting drinks. Well, some would give it a pass ... its routine after all .... Not this time!

Somehow or other, our dinner conversation was hypnosis. People around me were so interested. They asked about it ... were so curious and even wanted to try it. I felt overwhelmed by the questions. So many people wanted to know so much about it. At one point, the hypnosis explanation even went on to me having to do counseling. hmm ... pretty deep discussions. My friend KY seemed to have the passion in him as well... he asked questions that even I, who can BS very well, became curious. He really could challenge your thinking and make you more hungry for knowledge.

And that left me excited. There is just so much for you to see, to do and to learn. Lifelong learning .... the only time we stop, is when our heart stops beating.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Wonderful break

Tired and even more tired. You want to rest, but even more work comes. You want to go home sit on the couch and watch TV but you've got house work to do. You want to check your mail in peace but the calls keep coming in. Yes, life is hectic but you've got to keep juggling. Its only been a week but I need a break again. Though I can't leave this time, just the thought of my previous break gives me the escape that I needed.

hmm, all the good memories of that little escape. Though my Zeus is right beside me now, I have to be unfaithful and say I met 2 cuties in my trip to JB. They are just such friendly and loving things. Such cute greetings in the mornings or wagging tails when I see them. I always loved big dogs ... but never be afraid of big dogs, they are all gentle giants. Its the little ones who are such nuisance.

Then there was this lovely dinner at Juliette's place. She is such a wonderful hostess. She made sure everything was perfect. From the glass cups to the napkins. And the food served was so delicious. She made sure all of us were full and happy. Such a warm and loving environment. I really enjoyed my self over dinner that night. Chatting over the table, having nice wine, listening to 3 great piano players (polluting the air with my piano playing), being dumbstruck by watching magic and just simply chilling out. 
Juliette's house was is so comfortable. The old kind with high ceilings and yellow lights, and she had decorations from all over the world. It really looked like an English cottage to me, how lovely.

Not forgetting my little stint in the martial arts. Forgive me if I am wrong with my terms. A friend taught us some moves with a stick and I was delighted when I could do a few steps. It was complicated of course ........ but what isn't? With practice, I am sure it would be better. Just looking at the grace of the more senior martial artists perform leaves you at awe. Keeps you wanting more. Oh!! and the most enjoyable part of it all ........... being thrown on the floor. hahaha crazy but euphoric...

For any trip, friends and company is the most important part. I got closer to a few people and got to know much more about more people. Its always interesting to discover your friends. I love it when we spend the nights talking till dawn, though we sacrifice on our beauty sleep. Its always fun to have pillow talks and heart to heart chats ... Its always nice to know that you have friends to support each other and people that you can count on. Its always fun to have times laughing at each other or become so bored that you just stare at each other. I never understood the staring at each other, but I guess that creates rapport? I don't know. When you know that others share the same thoughts as you or have the same feelings, you are just left feeling amazed. When you discover that you have crossed paths before, you just wonder why you did not say hi earlier? And when you share your opinions and feelings with each other ... you know you have just made a lasting impression.

Not to forget a nice stroll along the River Quay at Singapore. I admit it, there was no wind and the water did smell like ..... a typical harbour. But the idea of walking aimlessly, talking about nothings with your friend and not having worries in the world. I had no idea why but I was thinking about Bubba Gump Shrimp Company. hmm ... yummy prawns with even yummier ice- blended drinks. 

Though I love traveling, at times I don't like the journey. I may get sick. Even that won't stop me from taking nice breaks and vacations. But if I am not groggy or dizzy, I can chat non- stop, not giving others a chance to sleep! Hey, its not safe to sleep on a speeding express bus ok?