Its fragile ... that's life

What was supposed to be an exciting week turned into something not that pleasant. Hope things will turn up for the better tomorrow. I had a whole week of fun events planned out. There was Singapore & JB (oops, haven't blogged about it), outing with Cert 5, outing with my UOB MAs, Outing with my DU Adv TM gang and an active exercise on Sunday morning ... well, some of the things came true ... the rest, I hope my mood will carry on.

Even tonight, a long awaited reunion with the MAs seemed painful for me. No, its not that I didn't like you guys, but my heart was just not there. Sorry I seemed so gloomy tonight, but I just didn't have the heart to FFK seeing all the preperations put into tonight. I know my smiles were not sincere but I couldn't smile with the feelings I had.

Received so many bad news today. First was that this girl I always spoke to on the phone, my first contact with the UK office passed away in an accident. She was only my age ... though I have never met her, she seemed so sweet and ever so helpful. I really felt for her loved ones when I heard the news. I could feel the pain of losing someone you love, especially in an accident ...... something so sudden. Why is life so fragile? Why are things that we love, people that we care for taken away just like that? Why can't we exist in happiness with no heart break at all? Why are the things that we cherish always be so fragile? I feel the hurt for the parents that brought them up, the pain of losing your better half, or just losing yourfriend. Can't imagine waking up the next day to find that someone is gone ... forever. I don't like to feel this way... I don't want to face reality.

So what if you've got your life? What if you don't hae your health? What if you know that you are slowly losing out? That your life is threatened or that there will be a shorter time for you to enjoy life. How could you possibly live, knowing that one day you can see, or walk, or hear again. It pains me to watch someone crying on the hospital bed, not tears of pain, but tears of fear. You want to help, but just can't. You want to cry along but you can't, you have to be strong for them. And your heart will ache ... it really will.

I used to hate it when at motivation camps, they ask, "What would you do if you knew you had 1 week left to live?" Already then, I feel scared. So much to do, so many people to see but so little time. And that was only a hypothetical question. What if it really happens? What would you do? I remember I said, I would make use of all the time to see the ones I love. But in reality, I might just spend my time crying in bed.

Reeived 2 more calls of people close to me who were hospitalized. One needs surgery, the other for external injury. I feel frightened for them too ... I feel scared seeing them suffer. I really want to help but don't know how. I realize how important it is to have loved ones beside you. I know its important to have someone to support you, someone there to look after you. Don't let go of the people you love. Don't love in silence, show them you care. Don't live in loneliness, share your life with someone else. See how fragile life is? You'll never know what might happen to you ...