But I did it for a reason. Well, I actually wanted to do something crazier (some of you might know what it is). I know deep down inside that I will be partaking this 'task' for research and experience only. I know that I will be able to pull a stop when I want to. But there is this nagging feeling in me (and also many nagging voices beside me) that says ...'what if I can't call it to stop'?
Thus ... branch A of my master plan was born. I will take away something that I truly love for a while, and see what the feeling is like. MSN & Facebook! The greatest creation of man kind. I wanted to feel how missing a part of you would be like ... how different it would be to break a habit and do something else ... how you would spend the times normally spent facebooking ....
And the result? Well, I was pretty cool on the first day. Finding other things to surf on the net. Then on the proceeding days, I seem to hallucinate the little MSN pop up at the corner of the screen. I unconsciously click on the MSN/ FB icons (but of course I don't log in). Then after a few days I start giving myself so many excuses to need to chat with my friends. Even for people I don't normally contact .... the need arose! I felt socially ostracized. I missed being in touch with people, I missed being up to date.
As the days went by, the urge became stronger and stronger ... but since I set the timeline myself, I had to stick to it. I found things to do to keep me occupied, to distract myself. Of course there was work in the office, I left office early so I won't have to face the computer so long, I went out with friends, cooked dinners, started knitting, read books (all to keep away from the pc at home).
I know its a stupid experiment. Not the least likely to be able to gauge the feeling of having something taken away FOREVER! It was just a temporary measure. As I know I will get back my joys after a week, the abstenence was not that bad. But at least, I know a little of what it felt like ..... and if I want to know the effects of my master plan, I will need to multiply this feeling by a hundred.
And the conclusion on my master plan .... to be announced soon!
It didn't occur to me when I was FB-ing .... but as I was writing this report, something a friend said made so much sense ...
' Why defend our believes if we truly belief?'