Longing for a break

Here I am on my off day, tired like a pooped out puppy and don't seem to get enough sleep. But yet, I have to work. Off days are like working-from-home days for me. Yes, I am married to my job, not out of love, but sort of a forced marriage. A marriage where I might just demand a divorce at any time.

Its amazing, me, of all people don't feel like eating but only have cravings for carbonated drinks. Why am I so thirsty? I hate to say it but being a therapist, I know what the signs are and what this is leading to ... and I cannot let it happen. I don't want to end up like a rotten piece of junk.

Its not a very nice feeling, both in my head and my body. My mind seems to be fading away. My memory is horrible, I can read right, when speaking ... my grammar goes out, while typing this, my spelling is bad (don't go searching for the mistakes, I have spell checks). I can ask my friend this minute where he wants to go for lunch and the next minute, I am asking the same thing again. Oh no! Is it dementia? Can you imagine I forgot to put sugar in my morning coffee and even forgot to flush the toilet? eeks ....!! Its bad.

I was so stressed and tired today that I had to pamper my self with retail therapy! And I bought a few books (busted my purse and I'm so far away from home). But my favorite buy was a motivational quote book with pictures of puppies. And puppies never ceases to make me smile! How adorable! And this quote said ... 'Learning to ignore things is one of the greatest path to finding inner peace.'

I will live to that! I really need the time of to rest my brain (it strains now for no reason). I need time to just lie there and stare at the ceiling. I need the space to just do the things that I like and just get bored! oh, how I am longing for that to come!

The red saree

I love Indian stuff. The food, the clothes, the accessories etc. I've always wanted a saree but never had a real reason to buy one. I always end up in punjabi suits. Yet, I am still amazed by the beauty and elegance of a saree.

Then the perfect opportunity came ... it was Tan Sri's birthday party (and a whole lot more, the launch of a Mahadevan Harvard Fellowship, the awarding of the Brand Laureate Mahathir award) but the high light was still the dressing up.

And I've got to thank my friends for this. They accompanied me down to Klang's little India to buy the perfect saree. I've also got to thank YouTube for teaching me how to tie a saree. I am so proud of the outcome. So happy that I actually own a piece of art.


And the happiest part of it all? Being praised! I may be narcisistic but thanks to all my friends for the sweet words. It also feels nice when a total stranger in the dinner walked up to me and said I looked nice & it was good to see a Chinese girl in a saree ... hehe, this might call for my addiction of another traditional costume.

The best part of it? My Indian friends will teach me how to tie other designs, the most important one being the sexy style.

My favorite month

I’m addicted to August! August is definitely a good month … and there is more of it to come! It’s the time to max out my fun and the time to enjoy life to the fullest. Hmm….. now I amt thinking hard how I spent my August in 2008? But its ok …. I live in the present and I plan for more thrill in the future. Life is short, so enjoy!

The month started with a trip to Genting. And it was a very refreshing start! So cold … so much laughter and so many crazy events. Then there were dinners and shopping trips and just meet ups over the weeks.

Not to forget the little trip to Port Dickson. Its our first outstation trip with the gang, true! It was so much fun! Well … the beach there sucked, can you imagine walking on pebbles instead of sand? Never ever will I dip my head in a sea full of mud! But it was still a beach after all with breeze, a sunset and a peaceful scenary.


And when the sun came down, our hunger went up. BARBEQUE!!!! Yum yum … lots of work but lots of fun! We practically brought everything from KL here just for the 4 hours of fun. Well, eating burnt food, snapping photos and just sitting there by the beach while gossiping is more than worth it. Did I mention that I love August?

The events doesn’t stop there! Its karaoke night!! Great plans with great people! The night started with some kiddish fun in the arcade, shooting bad guys and popping bubbles …. Ah, those were the days. Then there was 6 hours of singing/ screaming and dancing in the little K room. Tiring ….. but well worth the effort. But even at 3am, it was too early to end the day … I don’t grow a year older everyday. So it was drinks again till the morning …. Hehe dammit …. I forgot I had to go to work the next day.

It can happen to anyone of us

You should be thankful when you wake up every morning. And thankful again when you go to sleep at night, knowing that you have led a healthy day. Who cares if your day was crap or full of stress? The good thing is that you know you have a mind to think on, a healthy body to bring you home and perhaps enough energy to climb onto your bed.

Perhaps now I know why dogs like to make a few circles and rounds before slopping down on their spot to sleep and let out a contented and sleepy moan. Perhaps its their way of saying, 'I am satisfied with my day, thank you.'

You'll never know what may happen to you tomorrow. You might sleep soundly in bed tonight and might wake up with purple polka dotted skin tomorrow. You might never have imagined that tomorrow you will receive a big shock that will change your life. And sometimes, there is just no time to let that piece of news digest. Sometimes, you just have to act on it and let reality sink in as time goes by.

And it sucks, I know. You might not even have the time to cry or to seek a solution somewhere else. But whatever happens ... it happens for a reason. And behind it all, is a blessing in disguise. And so much more benefits will come your way .......

Happy 2nd Anniversary

In just a blink of an eye we have met each other for 2 years. I still remember walking into a room with 19 other people who were just as lost as I was. But meeting each other as MA was very meaningful and even up to today. Well, some may have left and some remained, but all became not only colleagues but friends as well.

I know, 10 of us are missing and the trip would never be a complete one. But on our anniversary day, we've just got to have fun.

Being the stressed up people that we all are, we decided to hit the slopes and enjoy the cool air .... ooh, it was a good 15 degrees on Sat night! It was drizzling and it froze our toes (wasn't prepared for it to be that cold). Even the mist made visibility so low and it was dangerous to walk outside. Ahh, I love the cold and fresh air!

And what better way to enjoy our meet ups but with food? And a 3 hour long buffet. With games requiring the loser to eat wasabi with what ever left overs on the table! Then there is no better way to end the night than with cards and booze ... and lots of laughter!

Never knew Genting could be so much fun! Like I said .... its the company that counts.

My short trip to Hong Kong

The first thing I said to my travel partner Karen, 'Let's make this a relaxing trip .. we shall enjoy a little more sleep and we shall go with the flow .. no plans!'Whee.... I was in for a relaxing trip.

True, not much sight seeing, only a lot of shopping and eating. And to top the list, we ate loads of tun dan (double boiled egg) yum yum!Not forgetting our dim sum breakfasts where we shared tables with some uncles and just chatted the hours away. It made us feel so free and so HK-ite. And my polo buns and Vitasoy! Perhaps the coolest part was chilling out in a bar at Lan Kwai Fong!

I guess the highlight of the trip was walking into Wanchai police station. hehe, we often get to see the police in action in TVB dramas but this time I get to be in the picture. I got pick pocketed in Causeway Bay. Someone opened the zipper on my bag and pulled out the camera with the lanyard attached. Ouch! And my camera is only 3 days old! Bought it right before I boarded the plane to HK. Talk about luck ......... and there goes all my vacation photos.

Well, at least I got to spot a celebrity before I left. Bowie Lam .... super pleasant guy. And great actor too.

But the drama doesn't stop there. On the flight back home, my leg started hurting. I thought it was too cramped on the plane so I didn't bother much ... but I ended up hobbling down the steps and needed to be wheeled out of the airport. My ankle was red and swollen and couldn't even fit into my slipper any more. It REALLY hurt. So painful just to take a little step. Apparantly at the HK bus stop there were many big red ants. I must have got bitten and had an alergic reaction to it.

And the stupid doctor said that if I develop fever the next day, I might die ... what a way to scare someone. Good thing is, 2 days later I am not dead ... but the ankle is still red and swollen. wahaha! I get to rest my leg up high, sit back and do nothing. But its still back to work tomorrow but I get to wear slippers!

Where is my break?

I wonder what it feels like to have work of your mind. Perhaps its been ages since I have felt that way.

Big oopsie! Its 1.15 am and my mum just walked into my room.
"Are you working or are you just surfing?"
well .... I am working but at the same time downloading songs ... so what I am doing?

Can't really escape when your boss asks you to go check a mail at 10.50pm, can you?
But where has my balance gone?
What is night what is day?
What is work what is play?
What is personal what is the office?

Argh ... people have been nagging me to stop and go get a life!
My colleague is nagging me to go home at 6pm sharp but what good does it do when I get calls at night? I have been asked to take off days but what good is it when you get SOS-ed back to work. My friends ask me out for lunch but what good is it when someone keeps sending you texts? What good is it when you are on vacation when someone calls and says 'I know you are off today but can you do bla bla bla now?'

HELP!!! I know I make my own destiny but I need a break!!
I want to get away and just forget everything for a while.
I need to just shut of my brains and not be bothered by anything work related.
I need a nice log sleep in without being called at 8.30am sharp!
I want to be far from where it all happens.
I want to be alone yet be with someone to laugh and go crazy with.
I hope that my little break would come soon ... I NEED ONE!!