I need fun!

Good thing is, I know that I am going to blow. Inside of me feels like there is a ticking bomb, and if I don't go and release some tension, it might blow!!!! And this time, it might be nasty .... just like a rubber band. If you stretch it too much, it might bounce and hurt you bad!

So time for some fun ... had a great time partying with the girls last week! Really it was a night to remember ... can't wait till the photos comes out. Watched a nice movie to laugh away the blues as well as ate lots to fill a happy tummy! But it could not beat Zorbing!!

Went to Titiwangsa to play with a pair of balls. Nice round ones hehe ..... so much fun! It was a really good experience with lots of laughter and release of pressure ... let the picture speak for itself!

Have I found me?

I did an oracle card reading the other day, with the current situation I am in, and a card just popped out. CHILDREN!! At first sight, I thought, will my life be bugged by children? will I have children soon?

But in actual fact, it is a call to tend to my inner child. True, I have been neglecting it. Its time I paid attention to it and spend time for myself. Then when I did the reading again, I drew cards ... Signs, Balance and Body Care. They seem to relate so well to the issue I have on hand.

So yup, here I am disclosing my findings as I want to do things for myself. I want to change and become Joyce again. I felt that I have lost the human in me. And these few days ... I have been enjoying life. Doing things that I like and doing stuff that makes me satisfied. I now know that I have to sacrifice to get the best out myself .... and it doesn't hurt to pamper myself a little!

Longing for a break

Here I am on my off day, tired like a pooped out puppy and don't seem to get enough sleep. But yet, I have to work. Off days are like working-from-home days for me. Yes, I am married to my job, not out of love, but sort of a forced marriage. A marriage where I might just demand a divorce at any time.

Its amazing, me, of all people don't feel like eating but only have cravings for carbonated drinks. Why am I so thirsty? I hate to say it but being a therapist, I know what the signs are and what this is leading to ... and I cannot let it happen. I don't want to end up like a rotten piece of junk.

Its not a very nice feeling, both in my head and my body. My mind seems to be fading away. My memory is horrible, I can read right, when speaking ... my grammar goes out, while typing this, my spelling is bad (don't go searching for the mistakes, I have spell checks). I can ask my friend this minute where he wants to go for lunch and the next minute, I am asking the same thing again. Oh no! Is it dementia? Can you imagine I forgot to put sugar in my morning coffee and even forgot to flush the toilet? eeks ....!! Its bad.

I was so stressed and tired today that I had to pamper my self with retail therapy! And I bought a few books (busted my purse and I'm so far away from home). But my favorite buy was a motivational quote book with pictures of puppies. And puppies never ceases to make me smile! How adorable! And this quote said ... 'Learning to ignore things is one of the greatest path to finding inner peace.'

I will live to that! I really need the time of to rest my brain (it strains now for no reason). I need time to just lie there and stare at the ceiling. I need the space to just do the things that I like and just get bored! oh, how I am longing for that to come!

The red saree

I love Indian stuff. The food, the clothes, the accessories etc. I've always wanted a saree but never had a real reason to buy one. I always end up in punjabi suits. Yet, I am still amazed by the beauty and elegance of a saree.

Then the perfect opportunity came ... it was Tan Sri's birthday party (and a whole lot more, the launch of a Mahadevan Harvard Fellowship, the awarding of the Brand Laureate Mahathir award) but the high light was still the dressing up.

And I've got to thank my friends for this. They accompanied me down to Klang's little India to buy the perfect saree. I've also got to thank YouTube for teaching me how to tie a saree. I am so proud of the outcome. So happy that I actually own a piece of art.


And the happiest part of it all? Being praised! I may be narcisistic but thanks to all my friends for the sweet words. It also feels nice when a total stranger in the dinner walked up to me and said I looked nice & it was good to see a Chinese girl in a saree ... hehe, this might call for my addiction of another traditional costume.

The best part of it? My Indian friends will teach me how to tie other designs, the most important one being the sexy style.