You think it, you do it!

Tip for well being #3

2010-07-01T03:19:00.000-07:00

Go for a vacation. You sometimes need a break from your regular routine. Get away from your house, your car, your desk or the traffic jam and escape to somewhere different. Go away for a short vacation, near or far it does not matter, your mind will thank you for it.

I remember my last trip to Hong Kong. It was relaxing and pampering. Not that I spent a lot of money but I pampered my self by being on a trip that I enjoy in my own leisurely time. No stress no hassle ...... from the time I boarded my MAS flight where the stewardesses really gave good service to the excellent HK food and the awesome sights. The sights, sonds and experiences were really worth it! So go on .......... book your next vacation!

http://malaysia.youthsays.com/joycemas/mas-traveller

Tip for wellbeing # 2

2010-06-23T01:20:00.000-07:00

Get outside

Walking/jogging is not only a great exercise. You get to spend time with yourself while exercising your body. You get to engage into conversations with the people you walk/ jog with. If you have a pet, run with them too. You will thank yourself for making the effort to keeping fit and your pet will be happy to spend time bonding with you.

Come to think of it, I am a little out of shape too. I'll probably need to start hitting the road, wearing my shoes and go out for a nice walk. Hmm, hope I'll manage to cut down a few inches before my next holiday. I wanna look good in those pictures. So I'll do it tomorrow!

And since I posted it on my blog, I don't think there's any running away

Tip for wellbeing #1

2010-06-20T01:02:00.000-07:00

I am back after a long break. So many things happened along the way but I am proud to say that I have achieved a dream ... a dream since young. Though it is going to be tough to sustain this dream .... I will do it witth my sense of accompplishment.

And I will share the joy of accomplishment and help you to become a better person, full of confidence and courage. Yes, through this blog I am going to help you increase your sense of wellbeing. Yea!! Towards a better future.

Tip #1
Eat more fruits and veggies. Try to have 5 servings of them Keep cut fruits in your fridge so it is easily accessible anytime you feel like snacking. Leave your blender on standby so you can have juice anytime you feel like it.

Thats our huge serving of Garden Salad at Barbera's Cafe @ Bangsar yesterday. We went there for a Toastmasters Installation night. Food there was gopod and the ambience was just perfect for a little party. Nothing spells Italian better than good food, good wine, nice music and a wonderful group of friends for company.

A new liberation

2010-02-11T07:57:00.000-08:00

I found freedom .. I found happiness in me again. I found back the old Joycy. I found back the meaning of life.

Yes ......... I quit. Life is not worth suffering. There is more to it than slaving for an unknown reason. I just want to scream and shout profanities but I exitted and I am glad about it.

I saw things that I never saw before. I realized things were there that I overlooked for the past 2 years.

I saw the silver lining on the clouds. I saw a nice facade to the building I always pass by. I saw a cute dog in the house I pass on my way home. Oh, where was I?

But all I can say is Welcome home!

Remedy for Headaches

2010-01-14T00:24:00.000-08:00

It may sound weird but 100-plus really works to relieve your headache... you don't need to eat unhealthy drugs to ease it or go to a hypnotherapist to relieve the pain. All you need to do is go to 7-11 to buy a 1.5L bottle of 100-plus. This is how it works:-

J : I got headache la ..... what to do?
P : Drink 100-plus, it is good.
J : But I want fruit juice
P : 100- plus better
So we went across the road to buy 100-plus. After drinking it and 2 hours later ...
J : I feel like puking!
P : See it works! Now you don't have a headache anymore!

So ladies and gentlemen, distraction techniques work. Shift the uncomfort from your head to your tummy.

So trash your panadols .... drugs don't do you good! Reach for a bottle of cool refreshing isotonic drink!

A wonderful start to the New year!

2010-01-01T23:01:00.000-08:00

Wishing all of you a bright and cheerful start to the new year. How we want our year to be will be controled by none other than US. How we want to see the year is destined by our perception. So if YOU make the best out of it, then no matter what, it will be a GOOD year!

And thanks to the bunch, I ushered in the new year on a positive and happy tone. It was a high start for me (literally)!

We took a short road trip to Melaka. And it was a last minute planned trip too! Talk about spontanuity. So 8 of us left KL seperately and met up at Jonker Street. Had some laughs, some hugs and some tourist-y acts. And soon enough, our vacation tummies started to rumble and we decided to have seafood dinner at the portugese settlement. Ooh ... I absolutely love seafood. We had garlic prawns, portugese baked sotong, cheese crabs, kam hiong crab, portugese grill fish, marmite chicken and kangkung for only RM 30 per head. Worth it!

Not to mention that the houses along the roads were so nicely decorated for Christmas. The lights, the 'snowman', and everything twinkling just adds so much feel to the festivities. All the time we were there, kids were just playing fireworks ... yea, noisy & smelly but it brought along the festive cheer. Haha .... we even had one fire work explode at our feet.

Like all Malaysians, this trip was a food trip! Immediately after dinner, we went to eat see-hum/ cockles. haha ... we were really squatting on little stools in the back alley by the drain to snack on those little bites. hmm.... a little unhygenic but anything goes in the name of good food. Also, quite a few TV food guides recommend that place ... hehe, it made us feel like we were illegal immigrants on the run.

After our see hum, we went for oh- chien/ oysters. hehe we were stuffed to the max. So imagine this, eight people seated around a table with only 1 plate of oh-chien in the middle. haha, the shop keeper was reallly 'staring cock' at us! well, anything in the name of good food.

Then we tried to rush to eye of Malaysia for the countdown, but due to traffic, we counted down in the car! It was jolly anyway!! So we finally made our way to the Eye! Its beautiful! Big, white and grand! So we went for a ride ...... hmm, nothing really interesting to shout about but its an experience .... a good time well spent with close friends!

I loved it! Even though we were super tired, it was definitely a good way to start a new year!

A look into 2009

2009-12-30T08:10:00.000-08:00

Gosh, time flies so quickly. It seems like just 3 months ago when I saw the fireworks at the countdown in Sunway. And now, its time for another countdown. Did time fly past because I was too busy doing stuff rather than enjoying life? Or did it just whiz by because I was living in my own land.

But whatever it is, I realized that I wasted a big part of the year feeling miserable. I was down but I know that I need to put in an effort to pick my self up. And I did put in lots of heart space into pampering my self and making 2009 yet another year to remember!

Just like all newspapers have their most memorable events of the year, here are mine too. In no specific order.

1. Going to Japan. Something I dreamed of and somewhere I could only watch on TV. But
touching down in Japan was the happiest moment of 2009. The lovely memories. I will
be back in Japan again!!

2. Seeing snow for the first time in Japan. It doesn't snow in Tokyo but somehow, a
few flakes fell and it was just stunningly beautiful. Nature is so perfect and
magical.

3. Completing my diploma in Tan Tock Seng Hospital in Singapore in Clinical Hypnosis.
It is something that will lead me to a good future and at least, my wish for
studying abroad was sort of fulfilled.

4. Meeting good friends. Some became my mentors, some my confidantes, some my guardian
angels and some who are just wonderful to be around with.

5. Climbing up Gunung Batur. The volcano on Bali. Never would I have thought I could
achieve that feat ... its a great challenge and it proves that when you want to do
it, you can do it!

6. Great outings with friends and families, the dinners, movies, parties, chit- chats
that will always be appreciated.

7. Zorbing, ab-sailing ...... little thrills that I would never forget.

8. A trip to Hong Kong. Though hot and I ended in a HK police station and came back in
a wheel chair .... it was truly an long needed break.

9. Being a chee- mui for Sue Yee and joining her entourage to Sandakan. It was fun ...
planning the games to trash the boys and I got my little share of sight- seeing too!

10. Having a milestone challenge at the end of 2009. It gives me the drive, toughens
me up and braces me for the big big world out there.

11. A lovely break with friends in Genting. It was raining and oh so cold. I really
enjoyed the chat with a friend as we shiverred outdoors. Crazy but serene.

12. Having a road trip and bbq by Port Dickson. Catching la-la and playing on the
pebbly beach. We just never get tired of outings with friends.

13. A 10 year anniversary since my highschool graduation. We still keep in touch and
meet up for drinks .. but boy, how time flies and we are all different and grown
up.

14. Falling in love with music, my friends, my family, puppies and over grown puppies,
food, fun, exploration.

My pick me ups!

2009-12-29T05:13:00.000-08:00

When I am down and out, it doesn't take much to make me happy again. We sometimes need a good cry and sometimes, perhaps to binge on a tub of ice cream (gosh, is that why I am growing so fat lately?).

But at my lowest and darkest moments, my friends have been there to pick me up. A short phone call or a cute picture brightens me up. A sms or a nudge on msn does wonders to my otherwise dreadful day at work.

I couldn't be more than grateful for my friends and family who have done so much for me .... I guess you guys are what that kept me sane! Thanks a bunch!

And the latest boost that I received on one of those down days .... (drumrolls!!) ... Instant snow all the way from Sweden!! Thanks Johan!!

And happy belated Christmas everyone!!

Random thought #3

2009-12-24T06:26:00.000-08:00

I need a holiday and I need a break. I want to go somewhere different and not care about the things going on around me. I don't want familiarity but I am worried about security. I want to do something memorable and not regret my decision.

I want to jet off to somewhere far away and be amazed by the culture. I want to see things that I have only watched on TV. I want to taste cuising from the most authentic kitchen and I want to hear words that I can't pronounce.

I want to be alone yet I want to be with close friends. I want silence yet I need music. I am confused and I am trapped. I want to open up and see the world. I want to explore .... any takers?

Is there ever an escape?

2009-12-19T07:28:00.000-08:00

Looks like however positive I try to be, the energy just gets sucked right out. What ever I do to help my self right now, it will be rudely interrupted. There is only one thing I can do now ... drop my bag and run !! But I can't do it now .... but the bag is getting heavier and heavier, its becoming a burden both mentally and physically.

When I decide to pamper my self and get away, when I do what ever it takes to take leave, I still get rudely harrassed. What does it mean that 'it is alright that you go on holiday but the rest of the world is working and you have to pick up your phone?' How ridiculous can that comment get? How much longer can I take this nonsense. Yet, for other reasons, I have to struggle on.

How else can I keep myself happy? How else can I stay afloat and not let it affect my life?

Ways to pamper yourself

2009-12-13T08:39:00.000-08:00

We always think of spas, distant vacations, buying a new gadget or indulging in some 5 star dessert. I know I've always said this but never really got to doing it.

I checked into Westin KL. Yup, I became a tourist in my own home city. The year has been rough for me and stress has been piling up as well. So now, seeing that its the festive season, I need to bring cheer into my own life and pamper myself too. No one is more precious than ME! If I don't treat myself well, then no one would.

So off I went to KL. Did some shopping in Lot 10, Sg Wang area ... something which I have not done in ages. Then checked into the hotel. Did some 'oohing' and 'ah-ing' in my hotel room and went for a swim. The water was super salty, but I suspect that the water was treated as my skin felt so smooth after that. Then soon after, it was dinner time back in KL with friends (sigh, the traveling), and finally back to the hotel for some beauty snooze .. Well, Westin is famous for their 'heavenly bed'!

The next morning, I went for another dip in the pool ... and came out silky smooth (hmm, I must bathe in salt water). Time really flew ..though I did not have enough of the 5 star luxury, I had to check out. Went for lunch with my folks in Saisaki Jap buffet across the street. Yum yum, first I pampered my mind and body, then I pampered my tummy.

I would seriously recommend this kind of retreats to anyone.

Who do I believe?

2009-12-09T05:01:00.000-08:00

You know at times, some people say Vanilla ice cream is good for you. But sometimes chocolate flavour will make you feel happier. Yet your stomach craves for mint flavoured ice- cream. So which flavour would you take.

Trust me, those who asks you to take vanilla or chocolate would not harm you and give you bad advice. But you trully know that ice-cream makes you fat. Yet your mind is considering whether to take a scoop to satisfy the cravings or whether to trash it down the bin and waste the hard researched for Baskin Robin's secret recipe. People around might be putting in laxative, wishing to trap you .... eesh eesh eesh, life is indeed scary.

Yes, there really are so many decisions in life to make. Important ones. Take one wrong bite and your future might be messed up. Ones that will either make you or break you. Unless of course you want to live the life of an ice- cream vendor just happily ringing his bell as he rides his bell through the neighbourhood.

10 years on ...

2009-12-03T10:11:00.000-08:00

In 1999, I can still hear the final bells of school at 3.15pm. Finally done with high school. And at that time while I was dressed in my pinafore with white shoes, grey tie and shiny name tag, I thought I was all grown up and ready to face the world.

Now 10 years later, here I am thinking, wow! ... time flies. In a blink of an eye and it has been a decade. I am really grown up? Am I really free? So much has happened in between. Shit happens, and so has joy and pride. I had my braces done, had wonderful vacations, had my first job, had a few accidents and had unforgettable moments with friends. So can I say it was a 10 year period well spent? Well .... I am not sure but I know I did learn a lot.

In 1999, I still remember all of us in school uniform in Form 5 at the corner classroom on the 3rd floor all looking down from the balcony and taking a group photo. And here we are now, gathered in a wedding dinner of one of the 'gang', acting like excited little children again, REUNITED. It isn't as if we dont meet up occasionally or it isn't as if FB was never invented. But it was a lovely occasion with our form teacher present too! Thanks Zhi Yang!

Though only about half the class was present, it felt like 1999 again. I can't wait for our Get-together in February !

Yup, it was late and only a few crazy people like us stayed behind and chatted away till the cleaners sort of 'chased' us off.

Random though # 2

2009-11-26T02:12:00.000-08:00

Here I am listening to Christmas Carols while sitting under the air conditioning ..... and I think ... 'Wouldn't it be nice if I get to experience a cold winter Christmas day?'
I want the break, I want the peace of Christmas and the magic of the season .

hmm, if winter were to come to Malaysia and the weather be cold, what is the rest of the western world be like? Frozen?

But anyway .... there is something in Christmas carols that makes you feel in love. Go try it out!

Exams are done!

2009-11-14T07:43:00.000-08:00

Whee! Finally the exams are over. My diploma with Tan Tock Seng Hospital...quite a big name in Singapore and I am so dying to get my results. Sometimes, the wait form the results is even worse than the exams itself. Or so I can say so right now ..

I don't know what is it with me but I tend to put myself in curfew when exams are around the corner. Though I don't study, I just feel the need to stay home and 'pretend' to be studying. So who am I cheating? Myself? hehe ... No outings with friends, no luxurious times loitering in malls or no chill out sessions in front of the TV. In fact, I don't even have time to blog much. But once in a while .. I do get tired of 'jailing' my self and tend to go on guilt trips.

But now ... at least not for another 4 months, I don't have to worry about exams. I am free I am free. .. and although I am all alone in Singapore, I feel great. I haven't had time to walk around a mall or just to browse around at a book shop here. I havent had the chance to chill out in my hotel room and just watch serials on TV. I haven't felt so relaxed just lying here and doing nothing.

Although its midnight, I don't want to go to sleep .... I just want to relax and do nothing ......... ah, the little luxuries of life!

In the Prime Minister's Office

2009-10-28T07:47:00.001-07:00

Is it worth all these hassles? Endless of heart attacks, hours of frustrations, moments where you reach the tipping point or even thoughts that race through your mind that is so terrible that it should not be repeated.

I am tired and I don’t want to go. I don’t want to meet anyone or I don’t want to smile when I don’t feel like. I cant put on a fake front or act ‘plastic’ as well as some people do. I’d rather have a peace of mind and stay in my humble world where the people are sincere and are out there for the benefit of others. NOT in a world where people are selfish, insensitive and down right greedy.

Well, at least I have a story in which I can tell my grandchildren. Yes, I worked my ass off, fried my brains and possible have my mind screwed up and all I got was a chance to meet the Prime Minister, and some very lovely royalties as well. It was a good experience, walking into the posh Putrajaya, being escorted up the lift, passing by rows of body guards and following protocols just to sit down. Then there was protocol of asking permission to speak or for permission to go to the toilet (yes, you will be escorted there too).

I’m too darn tired to mention what the whole event was but all I know is that I am proud to have been in the prime minister’s office, over looking the whole Putra jaya. I am darn proud to have rubbed shoulders with some people really high up on the hierarchy and glad to sip tea with them in an after event. Yet … I am pissed off enough to want to forget the whole incident and not event leave a space in my mind for it.

Random thought #1

2009-10-21T22:44:00.000-07:00

I was just thinking, wouldn't it be nice if there is a McDonalds outlet here in Phileo Damansara as well? Then lunch times won't be so boring. And I can get all the fries in the world .... and our days would become happier!

Why do you think Happy Meal was invented?

But then again ... how fat would I be then? 150 kgs with love handles everywhere?
But the urge is just to strong .... bah, and by the time I order delivery, my fries would be soggy and squishy!

I am my destiny

2009-10-18T08:37:00.000-07:00

Yup... I am still in this rut. And its getting bigger and bigger by the day. Its not only affecting me but this pandemic is seriously spreading. Its only a matter of time when it blows. Or there will come a time where the test tube holding the virus will break and all hell will spill over. Then it would be so much fun to watch the after effects.

People around are suffering but everyone wants to be happy and live stress free ... then it hit me. We are our own destiny. We can choose to take the shit either negatively or positively. Or perhaps we can take the shit when we are supposed to, and after our duty ... your shit is yours. My life is mine and its fresh and smells nice ...... bah!!

So ... I have responsibility over how I feel. Shut the stress out and do the things that I truly enjoy. Going out with friends, pigging out on good food, pampering myself with massages, listening to music or just sweating it out. Yup, life is short! So enjoy!

In my mind

2009-10-06T18:36:00.000-07:00

I am seriously considering ... is it all good for me? I am willing to risk my health and happiness? Is all the stress worth it? Is it really worth me pushing on for something which is not mine?

I am not even appreciated where I am. Why am I slogging on so much? Why am I trying my best? Why am I doing things that are against my principle? Why have I become so different? Why did I wake up so late in my life? Why have I wasted all these time?

It is not only yours, but my reputation as well. I have a life to live. I have a name that I want to keep clean. I have a stand that I want to take. I have a brain that can think what is right or what is wrong. And I have a right to be me.

The world is big out there. Why should I be limited here? Why did I think that you can give me so much. Why did I agree to be stuck in this rut? Why am I going in this direction? I want to jump and I want to fly. I want to leave you and see you die ...(wahaha it rhymes)

I need fun!

2009-09-28T07:59:00.000-07:00

Good thing is, I know that I am going to blow. Inside of me feels like there is a ticking bomb, and if I don't go and release some tension, it might blow!!!! And this time, it might be nasty .... just like a rubber band. If you stretch it too much, it might bounce and hurt you bad!

So time for some fun ... had a great time partying with the girls last week! Really it was a night to remember ... can't wait till the photos comes out. Watched a nice movie to laugh away the blues as well as ate lots to fill a happy tummy! But it could not beat Zorbing!!

Went to Titiwangsa to play with a pair of balls. Nice round ones hehe ..... so much fun! It was a really good experience with lots of laughter and release of pressure ... let the picture speak for itself!

Have I found me?

2009-09-24T08:22:00.000-07:00

I did an oracle card reading the other day, with the current situation I am in, and a card just popped out. CHILDREN!! At first sight, I thought, will my life be bugged by children? will I have children soon?

But in actual fact, it is a call to tend to my inner child. True, I have been neglecting it. Its time I paid attention to it and spend time for myself. Then when I did the reading again, I drew cards ... Signs, Balance and Body Care. They seem to relate so well to the issue I have on hand.

So yup, here I am disclosing my findings as I want to do things for myself. I want to change and become Joyce again. I felt that I have lost the human in me. And these few days ... I have been enjoying life. Doing things that I like and doing stuff that makes me satisfied. I now know that I have to sacrifice to get the best out myself .... and it doesn't hurt to pamper myself a little!

Longing for a break

2009-09-12T08:34:00.000-07:00

Here I am on my off day, tired like a pooped out puppy and don't seem to get enough sleep. But yet, I have to work. Off days are like working-from-home days for me. Yes, I am married to my job, not out of love, but sort of a forced marriage. A marriage where I might just demand a divorce at any time.

Its amazing, me, of all people don't feel like eating but only have cravings for carbonated drinks. Why am I so thirsty? I hate to say it but being a therapist, I know what the signs are and what this is leading to ... and I cannot let it happen. I don't want to end up like a rotten piece of junk.

Its not a very nice feeling, both in my head and my body. My mind seems to be fading away. My memory is horrible, I can read right, when speaking ... my grammar goes out, while typing this, my spelling is bad (don't go searching for the mistakes, I have spell checks). I can ask my friend this minute where he wants to go for lunch and the next minute, I am asking the same thing again. Oh no! Is it dementia? Can you imagine I forgot to put sugar in my morning coffee and even forgot to flush the toilet? eeks ....!! Its bad.

I was so stressed and tired today that I had to pamper my self with retail therapy! And I bought a few books (busted my purse and I'm so far away from home). But my favorite buy was a motivational quote book with pictures of puppies. And puppies never ceases to make me smile! How adorable! And this quote said ... 'Learning to ignore things is one of the greatest path to finding inner peace.'

I will live to that! I really need the time of to rest my brain (it strains now for no reason). I need time to just lie there and stare at the ceiling. I need the space to just do the things that I like and just get bored! oh, how I am longing for that to come!

The red saree

2009-09-11T09:24:00.000-07:00

I love Indian stuff. The food, the clothes, the accessories etc. I've always wanted a saree but never had a real reason to buy one. I always end up in punjabi suits. Yet, I am still amazed by the beauty and elegance of a saree.

Then the perfect opportunity came ... it was Tan Sri's birthday party (and a whole lot more, the launch of a Mahadevan Harvard Fellowship, the awarding of the Brand Laureate Mahathir award) but the high light was still the dressing up.

And I've got to thank my friends for this. They accompanied me down to Klang's little India to buy the perfect saree. I've also got to thank YouTube for teaching me how to tie a saree. I am so proud of the outcome. So happy that I actually own a piece of art.

And the happiest part of it all? Being praised! I may be narcisistic but thanks to all my friends for the sweet words. It also feels nice when a total stranger in the dinner walked up to me and said I looked nice & it was good to see a Chinese girl in a saree ... hehe, this might call for my addiction of another traditional costume.

The best part of it? My Indian friends will teach me how to tie other designs, the most important one being the sexy style.

My favorite month

2009-08-22T07:26:00.000-07:00

I’m addicted to August! August is definitely a good month … and there is more of it to come! It’s the time to max out my fun and the time to enjoy life to the fullest. Hmm….. now I amt thinking hard how I spent my August in 2008? But its ok …. I live in the present and I plan for more thrill in the future. Life is short, so enjoy!

The month started with a trip to Genting. And it was a very refreshing start! So cold … so much laughter and so many crazy events. Then there were dinners and shopping trips and just meet ups over the weeks.

Not to forget the little trip to Port Dickson. Its our first outstation trip with the gang, true! It was so much fun! Well … the beach there sucked, can you imagine walking on pebbles instead of sand? Never ever will I dip my head in a sea full of mud! But it was still a beach after all with breeze, a sunset and a peaceful scenary.

And when the sun came down, our hunger went up. BARBEQUE!!!! Yum yum … lots of work but lots of fun! We practically brought everything from KL here just for the 4 hours of fun. Well, eating burnt food, snapping photos and just sitting there by the beach while gossiping is more than worth it. Did I mention that I love August?

The events doesn’t stop there! Its karaoke night!! Great plans with great people! The night started with some kiddish fun in the arcade, shooting bad guys and popping bubbles …. Ah, those were the days. Then there was 6 hours of singing/ screaming and dancing in the little K room. Tiring ….. but well worth the effort. But even at 3am, it was too early to end the day … I don’t grow a year older everyday. So it was drinks again till the morning …. Hehe dammit …. I forgot I had to go to work the next day.

It can happen to anyone of us

2009-08-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

You should be thankful when you wake up every morning. And thankful again when you go to sleep at night, knowing that you have led a healthy day. Who cares if your day was crap or full of stress? The good thing is that you know you have a mind to think on, a healthy body to bring you home and perhaps enough energy to climb onto your bed.

Perhaps now I know why dogs like to make a few circles and rounds before slopping down on their spot to sleep and let out a contented and sleepy moan. Perhaps its their way of saying, 'I am satisfied with my day, thank you.'

You'll never know what may happen to you tomorrow. You might sleep soundly in bed tonight and might wake up with purple polka dotted skin tomorrow. You might never have imagined that tomorrow you will receive a big shock that will change your life. And sometimes, there is just no time to let that piece of news digest. Sometimes, you just have to act on it and let reality sink in as time goes by.

And it sucks, I know. You might not even have the time to cry or to seek a solution somewhere else. But whatever happens ... it happens for a reason. And behind it all, is a blessing in disguise. And so much more benefits will come your way .......

Happy 2nd Anniversary

2009-08-02T06:05:00.000-07:00

In just a blink of an eye we have met each other for 2 years. I still remember walking into a room with 19 other people who were just as lost as I was. But meeting each other as MA was very meaningful and even up to today. Well, some may have left and some remained, but all became not only colleagues but friends as well.

I know, 10 of us are missing and the trip would never be a complete one. But on our anniversary day, we've just got to have fun.

Being the stressed up people that we all are, we decided to hit the slopes and enjoy the cool air .... ooh, it was a good 15 degrees on Sat night! It was drizzling and it froze our toes (wasn't prepared for it to be that cold). Even the mist made visibility so low and it was dangerous to walk outside. Ahh, I love the cold and fresh air!

And what better way to enjoy our meet ups but with food? And a 3 hour long buffet. With games requiring the loser to eat wasabi with what ever left overs on the table! Then there is no better way to end the night than with cards and booze ... and lots of laughter!

Never knew Genting could be so much fun! Like I said .... its the company that counts.

My short trip to Hong Kong

2009-07-26T07:36:00.000-07:00

The first thing I said to my travel partner Karen, 'Let's make this a relaxing trip .. we shall enjoy a little more sleep and we shall go with the flow .. no plans!'Whee.... I was in for a relaxing trip.

True, not much sight seeing, only a lot of shopping and eating. And to top the list, we ate loads of tun dan (double boiled egg) yum yum!Not forgetting our dim sum breakfasts where we shared tables with some uncles and just chatted the hours away. It made us feel so free and so HK-ite. And my polo buns and Vitasoy! Perhaps the coolest part was chilling out in a bar at Lan Kwai Fong!

I guess the highlight of the trip was walking into Wanchai police station. hehe, we often get to see the police in action in TVB dramas but this time I get to be in the picture. I got pick pocketed in Causeway Bay. Someone opened the zipper on my bag and pulled out the camera with the lanyard attached. Ouch! And my camera is only 3 days old! Bought it right before I boarded the plane to HK. Talk about luck ......... and there goes all my vacation photos.

Well, at least I got to spot a celebrity before I left. Bowie Lam .... super pleasant guy. And great actor too.

But the drama doesn't stop there. On the flight back home, my leg started hurting. I thought it was too cramped on the plane so I didn't bother much ... but I ended up hobbling down the steps and needed to be wheeled out of the airport. My ankle was red and swollen and couldn't even fit into my slipper any more. It REALLY hurt. So painful just to take a little step. Apparantly at the HK bus stop there were many big red ants. I must have got bitten and had an alergic reaction to it.

And the stupid doctor said that if I develop fever the next day, I might die ... what a way to scare someone. Good thing is, 2 days later I am not dead ... but the ankle is still red and swollen. wahaha! I get to rest my leg up high, sit back and do nothing. But its still back to work tomorrow but I get to wear slippers!

Where is my break?

2009-07-08T09:52:00.000-07:00

I wonder what it feels like to have work of your mind. Perhaps its been ages since I have felt that way.

Big oopsie! Its 1.15 am and my mum just walked into my room.
"Are you working or are you just surfing?"
well .... I am working but at the same time downloading songs ... so what I am doing?

Can't really escape when your boss asks you to go check a mail at 10.50pm, can you?
But where has my balance gone?
What is night what is day?
What is work what is play?
What is personal what is the office?

Argh ... people have been nagging me to stop and go get a life!
My colleague is nagging me to go home at 6pm sharp but what good does it do when I get calls at night? I have been asked to take off days but what good is it when you get SOS-ed back to work. My friends ask me out for lunch but what good is it when someone keeps sending you texts? What good is it when you are on vacation when someone calls and says 'I know you are off today but can you do bla bla bla now?'

HELP!!! I know I make my own destiny but I need a break!!
I want to get away and just forget everything for a while.
I need to just shut of my brains and not be bothered by anything work related.
I need a nice log sleep in without being called at 8.30am sharp!
I want to be far from where it all happens.
I want to be alone yet be with someone to laugh and go crazy with.
I hope that my little break would come soon ... I NEED ONE!!

What .....???

2009-06-29T07:55:00.000-07:00

I don't like this feeling but why can't I help myself out from this rut? I know where I am leading to but why don't I want to be saved? I know the answer to it but why won't I act on it?

It actually sucks to be living like this now. There is just this feeling inside of me. It just feels like I am cold all over inside (no I don't have H1N1)and as if I am sitting in a pressure cooker. Its not like I've actually cooked myself before but it just feels as if there is just a physical pressure on you, pushing your insides out. It makes you feel as if you want to dismantle your bones and piece them back like Lego pieces. No amount of stretching made me feel more comfortable today ... I'm not sure if curling up in bed will make me feel better.

Something is seriously wrong. When having 8 hours of sleep is not enough ... when snacking non stop just doesn't make you full ... when even the full blasting air cond makes you feel hot or when everything around you just doesn't make you smile from inside. I want a hug to let me feel safe. I want a pill to let me sleep well. I want brownie to let me feel warm inside. I want to be alone to see my self. I want to lock my self up and just let my mind go blank. I want to be away from people for a while.

I have tried cheering my self up but failed. Friends have taken me out but I hide it from them. Colleagues have been darting me with rubber bands but I just laugh. Happy times at work seems to be just a slide show in my eyes. I talk to friends I love but my emotions can't be found. Conversations that were meant to comfort just seems so much more painful. Pouring out your frustrations makes you feel like you've lost your safety shield. I feel like a robot. A heartless robot. Being a robot makes you miss out on so many things. I am a robot that has an empty mind. A robot who doesn't care less. A robot who cant control her own feelings. But there is one ...

And the feeling of being afraid has been there for the past few days. Its in my gut, in my heart and I can feel the chill in my spine (no wonder I don't like horror movies). There is no physical threat, I am in a perfectly safe space. There is nothing I did wrong or nothing to worry about. Yet this feeling is there. Its like I am just afraid of being afraid. I am afraid for my family and friends. I am afraid of losing the people I love. I am afraid of losing my pillar of support. I am afraid for the future and the past. I am afraid of things that will never happen. I am afraid of losing control. I am afraid of being vulnerable. I am afraid of letting go. I am afraid of the tears that will just flow for no reason. I am afraid of the stupid nose that is so stuck now. I am just afraid. I don't know of what. I'm just afraid of being me.

One big simple sentence

2009-06-24T03:53:00.000-07:00

Didn't realize that so many weeks have passed since my last posting. And looking back, so many things have happened in those weeks. The many trips to and fro SG, the many heartaches and tensions, the numerous late nights (at work) and frequent calls.

But then again there are the happy moments. The delicious food! Seafood! Crabs! Chili's! Ice- kacang! Italiannies! Stuffed crust pizza! Old town kopitiam! My own fried rice! Secret recipe! Durian Buffet! Steamboat buffet! Drinks in Bkt Bintang ...haha no wonder my belly doesn't seem to go down.

And there were the little pleasures in life that makes you energized ... a silly dog nudging you up in the morning! Making lychee jelly! Finding a S$ 50 note stuffed in a jeans pocket you never wore for more than a month! Going up to Genting in the wee hours of the morning! Getting drenched in rain! Watching a comedy while munching chips! Receiving a card from a far away friend! Dinner with the pals! Its just excellent!

And there comes a time when a single sentence can change all your plans. That single sentence can doom you to eternity being stuck in the office. That statement made can have drastic effects to the people around you. I know sometimes we have to be selfish and love ourselves, but sometimes you need to care for your neighbours too. One simple sneeze can get you infected with H1N1 but in this case, one simple sentence can make someone's life so much more miserable.

Things do change and sometime people have to react differently. I do understand the rationale behind that sentence. I do see the need to express it but I never knew the impact it could bring. Who would guess that the bombings of Hiroshima could still have its nuclear effects 100 years later? Things just surface and it might be difficult to patch up. There is just so little of me but so much expectations. hmm.... what should I do.

Brain is busting and that little big sentence left me a little emotional. Perhaps even regretful. Fortunately I had a little time off to enjoy and clear my head. Did another of life's little pleasures! Read a novel while enjoying a nice cuppa of ice-blended mocha over lunch!

But then its back to work again ....

Where is the line?

2009-06-07T08:03:00.000-07:00

What a way to end the weekend. Its Sunday, and perhaps my philosophy is true ... I hate Sundays. Its always the hottest day back home. There are always squabbles happening on Sunday and even the TV shows are crap on Sunday. But why does this shadow of black Sundays have to follow me across the border?

It was a good week for me the past few days. Busy but relaxing. Had some time to do some browsing on Orchard, had chance to eat some good food, had some laughs with friends and best of all ... had a good sleep while tucked in comfy-ly on my hotel bed. Had a great class over the weekend and gained so much insight. And all I wanted was a nice night in Bugis and go home happily with hands full of shopping bags .....

But NOOOOO!!!! Some people just don't understand boundaries. Perhaps some people don't have calendars or clocks at home. Perhaps they don't even have a life. Or their life is meant to make others' life miserable. And their weekend thrill is to be ridiculous and spread the joy of 'nonsenc-icle' crap around.

I mean, don't you know that the world doesn't evolve around you? Don't you know that different people have different thoughts, different shops have different prices or different dishes have different tastes? If you really want everything to happen on your own, DO IT YOURSELF! Or better still, ship yourself to an island and have everything there function to your own wants.

This calls for respect! Respect for other's time. Respect for other's rights. Respect for other's individuality. Respect for other's need to differ. And most important of all is to respect others if you want them to respect you.

Home Sweet Home

2009-06-01T10:14:00.000-07:00

One week has passed and the first part of my adventure has ended. I haven't missed my home so much before, though it has not been the first time I was away for so long. I really am not sure how I am feeling right now.

On one hand, I really want to go home, to sleep on my own bed, to have my little brat poke me up in the morning, to have the luxury of lying on the couch and watching dramas. I am longing for that nice stretch under the warm comfy sheets. Can't wait to be put in trance by the constant spinning sounds coming from the old ceiling fan. I am looking forward to tomorrow morning when I do not need to set the alarm clock at all. Life has been so busy and hectic these few days. Non stop work and super late nights in the office.

Come to think of it, why am I doing this to myself? I am posted away for a while. Away from the office where I just have a task to perform, but without restrictions. There will be no one to watch what time I go home or what time I go for lunch. Yet, why is it that I stay up alone in the office till 10pm. Why is it that I do not have my lunch till 4pm? Is it really that busy? Can't work wait till a bit later? Why hasn't the pattern changed at all?

I asked my friend this … why are you doing this? Why are you torturing yourself? Where is your life …..... hmm, where is mine? I shouldn't be asking others when I myself have not found the answers. 'The pot is calling the kettle black'. And this answer only lies within my self. Only I am capable of answering it. To search withing my self and ask, what is it that I truly want?

And on the other hand, I don't really want to go home (ok, I need to .. my luggage is not packed for that long a journey). I want to try being away for a longer period of time. Perhaps it might be good that I am away from certain stimulants for a while. Perhaps iv might benefit from the time away, to have to time to recover or even to forget. Perhaps being apart might have its benefits too ….. I don't know, its time to evaluate and we'll see how the story continues to unfold.

Mr. Freaky 329

2009-05-30T05:23:00.000-07:00

This trip to Singapore really brought me alot of exciting experiences. Nevermind the rest of the stuff but I think this brought the best highlight. Even though the trip ain't over, I don't think there could be a more interesting experience than this. .... well, its a good lesson for me to keep my big mouth shut.

So there I was with my luggage at the lobby of my hotel. Waiting for the check in procedure..... perhaps getting bored by the 'speed' of the hotel staff , and noticed another guest waiting there. And he asked me where I was from .... thus started our conversation about local food (he is from Kenya) and some sights in KL (he came from KL to SG). Finally we got our stuff done and went to the lifts together.

Bad decision ........ same lift ...... same floor ...... same aisle ........ and turned out that he is my neighbour. So I went in, put my bags down and then .... 'KNOCK KNOCK' .

... Do you want to get dinner? ...
... No I am tired, just finished work ...
... How about a short drink? ...
... No I just want to crash, good night ...

And that was it. Though I was starving, I was just feeling dreadfully tired and didn't want to socialize .... I mean ... who goes out with strangers just like that?

So a peaceful night sleep and a stressful day at work later, I reach the hotel at 10ish, with my packed dinner ..... KNOCK KNOCK.

... Want to go for a drink? ...
... No, I need to do some work and I'm having my dinner now ...

Fine, didn't hear from him for the rest of the night. Time to enjoy the comfy beds .......... zzzzz

... RING RING ...
... Hello? ...
... Click ...
What time was it? I don't know. All I know is that I was asleep.

... RING RING ... (I checked the time and it was 3am)
... Hello? ...
... Hi, I am Mooty from 329 . Are you asleep?...
... Yes ...
... (a whole lot of crap was mentioned ... I was asleep and could not register. But what made me wake up was ....
... Do you need company tonight? ...
... No ...

So a disturbed sleep and another stressful day at work later, I thought Mr 329 would give up. So I went back, unloaded my stuff and went out for dinner again. And when I shut the door behing me, walked halfway down the aisle, guess who came out? FREAKY!!!

I don't know what made me do such a stupid thing but I hid in the stairway till the coast was clear ... haha, I guess I did not watch enought TV that said stairwells are the most dangerous places to be. hmm... give him the benefit of the doubt. Perhaps it was coincidence that he was going out. Or was he really waiting for me?

I couldn't stand it anymore. I made a complain to the reception. They were really nice people. Asked me not to be afraid. And told me that if there is anything, don't come out of the room, call them and they will come up .. they will bring security ...... wahaha ... And the hotel staff actually waited till Mr 329 came back and gave him a warning. hehe, did that stop him? I don't know ...?

No one knows who gave me the 4 missed calls in the middle of the night ........ crazy person ..... thank god he checked out today ... FINALLY! I will get a good night's sleep ....

Lesson to be learnt ... don't be friendly with people in hotels ... especially when you are a girl traveling alone ...

Ces't la vie!

2009-05-26T05:01:00.000-07:00

So here I am, typing on my mini laptop, missing my mac back home ... missing my i-tunes collection and everything about it that I seldom use but is addicted to. That's the thing about humans, the more you don't have it with you, the more you appreciate it. You'll slowly take it for granted but when it is not around, you long for the times when you can use it again .... and that's the thing with addictions ....... you can't keep your mind of it for long. Sheesh ... this is bad.

So its a new path for me, these 2 months. And I've got a project to do. Not just some lame old high school project but one that allows me to test myself, see my strenghts, allow me to grow, get me slapped and rudely awakened and perhaps, show me the light. This will probably change me in one way or another, I don't know, so people around me .... open your eyes.

In one way or another, you might say that I am on a path of discovery. I'm asking myself things that I do not know the answer too. And perhaps by the end of July, this answer might just be staring me straight in the face. It will be tiring I know .... but now's the time to do it ... so wish me luck.

I'm sitting here, my first night away, feeling a sense of joy, perhaps a little excitement of whats to come and maybe even a little fear of the uncertainty. But what I will miss is my soft bed, my family and friends, my doggie ... and my doggie!

Its true the past few months were crazy, really didn't give me any time to reflect or even live my life. Some one told me, you're only 20ish, why are you acting 40ish and killing yourself now. BOO!!!!! Its time to enjoy life .... and thats what I did .... took a little time off and just emerged myself into the world of cinematography last night.

Went for a movie marathon ... 3 shows back to back. Angels & Demons, Night at the Museum and Star Trek. (Well, 4 if you want to count the Shanghai Knights I watch on my way down) ... And what a way to cap it but with a large tub of Caramel pop corn and coke! Wahahahaha! This is life!

And my next marathon ......... Food! Buffet!

My rainbow after the storm

2009-05-20T08:54:00.000-07:00

First of all, a big thank you to all of you who picked me up when I was a grump who almost sulked till my lips touched the ground. Thanks for throwing the rainbow back at me. Thanks for calling me a sunshine and letting me know there is happiness ahead. Thanks for taking me for Chocolate Mille Crepe! Yum

But after all the hardwork, I think I finally saw some results. My little project with the Westin KL finally kicked off ... can't wait till its inception in July. Its such a great sense of achievement to do something a little out of the ordinary ... something that can lead on to a better future perhaps. All I can say is that the Westin is just ....HEAVENLY! OK ... will not say more till we get the stamp from the GM.

And another great news is that I will be working my ass of to develop the Singapore center!! Yes, much ,more traveling, much more headaches and many more frustrations coming my way. But it will be the perfect opportunity to grow, to learn and to improve myself. It won't be easy, yes, but I get to challenge myself. Its a great measure to see how far I can go. It will be good to prove to myself that I can achieve what my heart desires.

So as a note to myself, JIA YOU!!!

.....

2009-05-18T02:51:00.000-07:00

I clearly remember taking a day off today. Monday is my official off day, or so I say it is. By definition, an off day is when there is no talk of work, no hassles from the office, no unrealistic demands and no head cracking and mind bothering phone calls (well, at least this is what I hope it is).

Like I said, I might only get a physical off day ....... but I need an emotional one too. Was finally to have my first day away from work after 2 weeks. But what good is it when you still have to settle office stuff early in the morning. And what is the rational that you have to be called back to the office on your day off? And it isn't the first time that this has happened ..... Sometimes I feel that its even more relaxing to be in work than to be off work .....

So what am I doing back here in the office? Its the early evening and there is so much more life out there. Why am I limiting my self and selling my soul to the office? Why do I have to attend to all the issues in the office? Why do I have to obey others so much? Why am I jeapordizing my own happiness for the benefit of others?

I really want a day of silence. A day of rest where I don't have to be reminded of work at all. A day when I can spend my time doing the things that I want. Talk to the people I like, meet the people whom I enjoy their company or simply, let my mind drift..

I don't think its that complicated a thing to ask for? Everyone has their own right to freedom. Everyone has a right to their free space, their clean breath of fresh air. I want to get away and switch of my phone. I don't want to be bugged. Sheesh .......

Its my life, my time

2009-05-10T05:29:00.000-07:00

Have you ever wondered how sometimes the time passes by so fast when you're having fun? Time for me is so precious, and to get a weekend free from work is almost impossible. The week came and left ... just like that. And where did the time go?

I KNOW! haha ... its a total waste of time ... but one of life's little pleasures for me is just lounging the time away, doing the things that I like to do ... perhaps you may say its pretty ridiculous. But if doing it makes me happy, then what the heck? JUST DO IT!

Don't laugh at the things I am doing ... like piecing together a 5000 piece jig saw puzzle and reassemble them (its addictive), knitting myself a second shawl even though there is no winter in KL (again its addictive), scrap booking my pictures from high school days (ah .. the memories), staring straight in my dog's eyes for hours (super cute) and watching reruns of dramas (the number one addiction).

And my latest craze, Japanese dramas that I don't have a clue on what they are saying ... thank god for sub-titles. hmm .. A good way to learn the language? Or I might just get distracted by good looking actors and actresses.

1 good recomendation .. 'My boss, my hero'. Its about this Yakuza head who has to go back to high school in order to get the crown. Its hilarious ... a serious dude acting like a high school kid? hehe you really can laugh your worries away.

So yup, sleepless nights for me, and never mind my panda eyes. This is what addiction is like. And I'm determined not to sleep till I finish this series .... another 12 chapters to go! I can do it! (and the only reason wwhy I am typing this entry now is because the drama is buffering)

My wish list

2009-05-03T00:46:00.000-07:00

Its been an excellent 3 days of rest for me ... no doubt there was work in between but what really counted was being able to sleep in late and not having to rush around for chores.

I have half a day left to enjoy and this is what I really want. Reality aside (time constraints & monetary issues don't count as well), I would love to end my day like that. Like I said, its only my dream, but I seriously wish it could come true.

Expeience winter again (the heat in KL is killing me .. I want to enjoy the cool ness of nature ... just sitting there and appreciating mother nature)
Be surrounded by puppies & dogs (how innocent and happy they are. Just seeing them wag their little butts make you smile)
Go for ice cream buffet ....... and I must have Swenson's sticky chewy chocolate & Baskin's rum & raisin
Have a nice pampering body massage ..... all over ... (I may be a sadist but I enjoy the pain, and it feels good)
Watch a nice comedy (its always good to have a good laugh even though the story line might be crap ... and it helps if the cinema is freezing)
Go for dessert with friends ..... nothing beats having nice gossips with the girls over Bakerzin's dark choc cake (can't wait till next Friday!! Tiramisu is great as well!!)
Just lying in bed doing nothing but listening to your favorite music (that I can do very easily and I am doing it as soon as I reach number 10)
A bubble bath with lavander oil and soothing music in the background (who has a bath tub I could borrow?)
A nice snuggly cuddle ... and a nice back rub
Finally ...... someone to peel grapes and feed me as I lie in bed doing nothing but enjoying the rest of my lovely Sunday!

Doggies!!

2009-04-29T21:53:00.000-07:00

The look of someone sleepy & couldn't care less

The look of pure white innosence

The evil look of a robber on the prowl

The look any confused cutie pies have

The look of a poor helpless soul at your mercy

The look of someone deep in meditation

The look of someone cheeky going to pounce on you

How I wish I could still cuddle my Zeus like this

I am not a junkie!

2009-04-27T22:46:00.000-07:00

Is it really that difficult to get away from it all? I think its perfectly fine o have a day off. And when I mean day off, means you shut your mind off from anything work related, or the event that is causing you stress. No doubt we can't stop the mind from thinking of those issues .... but having to work with it or to deal with it?

Work can be as addictive as marijuana. Yea, perhaps the public's perception of you would be better if one says your are a work-a-holic as opposed to being a marijuana-a-holic. But the effects are the same. The more you take it, the more you enjoy it. The longer you are furthur away from it, the more you think about it. And when you try to escape it, signs of it just keep bugging you. Do you notice when you are trying to cut out the drug, people will bug you and peer pressure escalates? Same goes with work ..... you will be stuck with it. Like it or not.

But for those with discipline, they leave a lee space for marijuana free days. Days when they can breath or days when they can escape from the side effects of it all. But can I escape? Perhaps only if I become an a$$ and shut of from the outside world. Perhaps I should hide in a cave where no one can reach me.

I try for these marijuana free days, but it doesn't exist in my life. People just inject me with it. And perhaps for me not to fall and die from the withdrawal symptoms ... perhaps I just need to open my arms and let me stab away.

Cool getaway

2009-04-19T21:37:00.000-07:00

Just step out of your house today and you will notice the jam, the heat, concrete all around you, grouchy faces around you and not to mention the grime and dirt. But when you have to work perhaps 10 hours a day and 7 days a week, where do you get time to run away for a little while? To escape?

hmm, the answer lies just a little drive away from KL, in Cheras. Its the Look out point! Pretty near to 'little Genting' but even nicer as the have cafes and nice parking spots. Not to mention much safer than little Genting.

It was awesome that night. It was just after the rain, just after a delicious seafood dinner (loved the salted egg crabs) and all of us were high from pure laughter. We went to 'look out point' and there was mist! Exactly like Genting. Just the perfect weather .... a little chilly but not too cold .... sitting there by the excellent view of KL's night line .... with a nice cup of mango blended .... ahhh... a perfect little getaway!!

Sleep is important

2009-04-15T05:43:00.000-07:00

I may not be a medical practitioner but there is one thing that I can prescribe to you .... SLEEP!
When ever you are not feeling well, or if there is something bothering you or if your brain seems to have stopped working or even if you are irritated to the brim with something, SLEEP!

I don't only mean your routine 6 or 7 hours of sleep, but more of a day's worth of sleep. And it never felt so good in ages! True, I may have been lacking in sleep for a while and stuff has been messing up my thoughts lately ... making me so easily irritated and groggy the whole day.

And a good sleep does wonders ... an afternoon in followed by a long nap .. followed by an early night in ..... That, my friends, is sheer pleasure! It just lightens you up! It brings back the sanity to your mind .. allows you to not worry so easily and prioritize your thoughts. It makes you realize that work is work but life is not all about work!

Is it the right time?

2009-04-13T21:52:00.000-07:00

When you are young, perhaps it’s the best time for you to groom your future. Perhaps its time to grow your network, your experience, your bank book and even your mental capabilities. There is this Chinese saying that goes, ‘you should bend a bamboo while it is still young’ …. Ok, I might not be that young … and my bones are already cracking … can I still bend?

Where is my priority right now? I really don’t know … I know I want a steady structure and I also know I want a cushion I can fall back on. Its wise for me to secure my self right now but also wise for me to take a deep breath and analyze the situation. Should I choose to buy a 10 year financial plan package now or should I save up in the traditional FD for my retirement fund?

They say that opportunities only knocks once. And this one seems like a pretty good visitor. One that will of course give me happiness and show me a bright future or it might also be one who might bring me to the ultimate path via a short cut where I might hurt other people. So am I ready to meet this person who is knocking on my door?

Tour of the underground

2009-04-05T22:16:00.000-07:00

Went to catch a movie last night with a group of friends after class. Watched 'Knowing'. It’s a pretty silly movie if you ask me. Perhaps it was actually a long advertisement trying to sell GPS navigators to those who want to save their own lives. Or perhaps it’s a movie that tries to debunk the facts from DSM IV and says that you are not crazy if you hallucinate and hear whispers.

What ever it is, I left the cinema laughing …. Thinking ‘oh! How happy those two kids will be’ (you’ll have to watch it to understand it.

Anyway the highlight of the movie only came after the movie, finding our car at B2 G2. Yea, the bad thing about 1 Utama is that they close most of the exits in the mall, shut of most carpark lifts and lock the staircase entrances. Its like a trap … a fire hazard, unless you want to jump of the balcony of the 5th floor carpark.

So there we were, walking round and round 5th floor till we finally found a lift … that only brought us to ground floor. Well, better than nothing. We went to the ground floor and made our way manually to B2 only to walk around and around and around. With no guards around and no red coded pillars around, we were lost. And being stuck in the basement, a flooding hazard, I was sweating like a pig.

Thank god we had 2 guys with us. If not I would have freaked out! So our next most rational thing to do was, go back to the ground floor and walk along the road side. At least I get a better bearing of where we are and where we can head too. So yup, we were stuck at the new wing but our car was at the hotel. Whee ….. we walked along the highway and crossed roads, only to walk back to the basement of the unloading bay.

It was the only area that had lights. So back into basement one and we walked round and round, trying to find a ramp, a flight of stairs or a lift that brought us to B2. None!! It was stuffy and stinking of garbage …. I can’t imagine this is 1 Utama. And along the way, we bumped into a few other stray lost kittens like ourselves … what kind of management is this?

Finally we found a guard on a bike … showed him the picture of our parking spot B2 G2 (thank god for camera phones) and guess what!!! HE DID NOT KNOW WHERE IT WAS!!!

But he took one of my guy friends around on his bike, searching for the car …. And it took forever. In the end, we found out that they had to exit 1 Utama, go in through the One World Hotel carpark and only through the unloading bay to B2 G2. This is the ultimate underground maze! And this adventure took us almost 50 minutes!!!

A lesson to be learnt! Always park near the cinema if you are watching a midnight movie! Never trust ‘MORE PARKING’ signs that lead you from the new wing to the old wing to the hotel … and most important of all … always carry pepper spray as you’ll never know when you’ll be lost in the basement again.

Mumm F1 Celebration Finale Party 2009 ft Valiram Group

2009-04-03T02:52:00.000-07:00

Dressing up in your office toilet is pretty fun .... especially when you are looking forward to the event thats coming up. I love the big mirror and the yellow lighting ... but not good for applying make-up tho .... eesh ... that reminds me my dog actually chewed up my eyeliner ... sob sob, no smoky eyes. And it feels kind of good to go out in the middle of the work week for party!!

Went to Pavillion, KL for an event that my dearest Annie organized. The Mumm F1 Celebration Finale Party 2009 ft Valiram Group. haha okok .... it was an eye opener for me to. Going for an event where everyone was dressed up, sipping champagne, snacking on canapes and posing for cameras (the formal style). There were good looking people everywhere ..... really really good looking ones ... hehe Hanna Tan was one of them. Even the waiters there looked so smart.

Of course ... what do you expect? Its was an event for socialites and high flyers ... and lots of expats. hehe so it was a privilege to be invited. Were any F1 drivers there? haha ... I would not even know even if I stood right in front of one.

But all I know is that there is no 1 definition for party. It can come in any shape, size, musical background, environment or the crowd around you. And all I know is that with my friends around, any party would be a great party.

My free weekend

2009-03-31T18:05:00.000-07:00

Its true that you'll never be able to appreciate life's pleasures until it is taken away from you. My weekends have been all taken away, but fortunately I had the opportunity to reclaim one. And oh .... the freedom and the joy ..... it was different, it was refreshing and unique.

I would never forgive my self for waking up at 7am automatically on a day when i didn't need to go to work. Why can't this alarm clock switch off by its self? But the good thing is, I have never felt so awake when I am awake at 7am. So a nice slow breakfast and lots of lazing around later, I went for a music therapy workshop. Well .... it wasn't up to my expectation but I quite enjoyed it. They explained how different sounds sooth different emotions etc and even brought us through a 30 minute relaxation using music as a tool. Very cool!! And then there was massage with music and aromatherapy with music ... That makes the investment worth it.

And nothing beats spending your Saturday gossiping with good friends. So 3 of us girls went to KLCC Chilis and chatted the day away. Thank god for bottomless drinks. And ooh ..... the honey roasted chicken fillet really saved the day too .... so yummy!! Can't wait to go back for more. Its sweet yet sour with a tinge of spicyness. The fillet is so crunchy yet tender and juicy inside. Served with chips and margerine laded corn on cob .... its the perfect dish! Highy recommended ... can't wait for more!!

Food seems to counter any anxiety or stress you have. And when a surprise came from JB last weekend, what else could we do but eat? We girls went to Delixious for dessert ... sinful sweet stuff .... and just the thought of it in your mouth makes you happy! The sugar in it also gives you the extra energy and kick to do more stuff .... like shopping in Masjid India. hmm ... its something different. Walking around the shops, looking at Indian accessories, trying on sarees and Punjabi costumes ..... a totaly girlish adventure .... hehe. And to end the day, I bought my self a new suit! Not sure when I'll wear it though .... perhaps Deepavali?

Linda's Lemon Merangue Pie. Its crispy on the outside and the lemonish cream just melts in your mouth. Its so fresh and zesty!
Juliette's Chocolate brownie and ice-cream. If only I were this rich I'll be happy. It full of chocs and it has the bitter sweet feeling. The cake is warm and topped with ice- cream ... this dessert is just the best creation ever. My Berrilicious Chocolate Pavlova ... love the berries! So fresh and sour! Makes my mouth water. And the pavlova is just like rice crispies. Crunchy when you chew it but it just melts if you leave it on your toungue.

So we ended the day with food again. Saravanan Bhavan ...... serves excellent North Indian vegetarian dishes. Its really unique, the sweet Kasmiri naan, the blended spinach with cheese and the devil potato! Yum Yum. ooh ... I can't forget the mushroom curry too!

Wonderful weekend eh? Freedom + lots of weight gained!

The rain after the sunshine

2009-03-25T04:02:00.000-07:00

A lesson learnt: Never eat durians after a cheesy meal in Italiannies. You'll suffer each time you burp or fart.

But after 3 weeks of work non-stop, pressures and datelines, I finally had space to breath last night. The results could be seen but of course mess was kicked up along the way. Is everyone happy of the outcome? I don't know ..... perhaps we have become robots ... too mundane and too emotionless .... but now that the burden is off, a little pampering does well.

So it was off for dinner and movie with my best girl! Went to Italiannies for my favourite stuffed mushroom and cheese. It never tasted so good! And the best relaxer of all ...... gossiping with your best friend over good food! Oh, my stomach is growling over the thought of dinner now ....
So there .... you all know my weakest spot now! I'll do anything for Italian food and cheese.

Went to pamper my self more after that. Chick flick @ The Garden's GSC Signatures! We watched the premier of 'Confessions of a shoppoholic'. Well, the movie wasn't that great, but you get to learn a lot from it. If you pay attention to the dialogue, or morals .... its a great plot. Will analyze it soon.

But what I enjoyed the most was sitting on the soft big reclining chair and enjoying a good laugh .... perfect way to let go of all the stresses. Its worth the slightly higher ticket price hehe! Its been ages since I last watch a movie, Wall-e I think, so I really felt reenergized after that.

Thought my happiness will last for a while ..... but come morning, something happened in the office. No not me .... I am in safe territory, but it hurts to see the war around, the words that can slice you apart and the accusations that burns your ears. Hope tomorrow will bring an end to this war. But until then, I am left wondering. Will it rain or shine tomorrow?

Random ravings

2009-03-17T20:29:00.000-07:00

argh .......... Am I getting old or why am I so tired?

Even with a good night's sleep I am still lethargic throughout the day.
And by night fall, I am pooped .... there goes my life.

By 8pm, I am not back home yet. By 9pm I have no mood for dinner. By 10pm, nothing in the world matters but my nice comfy bed.

When will this pattern end?
Short term, it will end by this month ....... long term ..... perhaps when we hold the white flag up.

I want to run and hide. But I am not made of glass. I want to switch of but the button in me is on auto on. I need to pull the plug but don't think other wise. I want to just forget but I am being flooded by the environment. I need an extra pair of hand but I can't find it.

In simple words .......... I am blah!

I'm tired

2009-03-11T22:11:00.000-07:00

Off to Singapore again and back on Monday. In a way I am dreading tomorrow morning when I have to lug myself to the very unfriendly bus station ... but in another way I am also looking forward to this trip where I can just crash in the hotel after work.

No doubt, work will be crazy this weekend. Friday ... lots of people to meet, Saturday & Sunday ... lots of politics to play. But when night falls ... its nothing but me and the 4 walls. Well, I might get bored and visit a mall or I might get a bag of chips and chomp it down while watching a movie ... we'll see how my mood goes.

But the past month has been pretty tiring for me. Bali was fun but energy draining. My terrible bug left me being dopey for another week or so. The office has been a mess since I was away and there are so many corrections to be done ... argh ... I hate back tracking things. Its recruitment time again and things are neurotic everywhere ... papers, calls, unrealistic demands, dreadfull calls and unlimited harrassments.

The price of adventure

2009-03-06T03:15:00.000-08:00

Right now sitting here I feel like I am high on some psychedelic drug. My mind is floating and there is just this perception that my legs are not touching the ground. Its just amazing how I can be typing this entry in words that make sense.

Since I came back from Bali on Monday night, I haven't been well. Definitely I will blog about the trip ... but not till my mind is back straight again. For the past 3 days, I have been sleeping at least 20 hours per day??? Felt like a pig ............. The fever came with a package .. vomiting, cought, sore throat, flu ... The fever never seemed to go away. Temperature was always high 102 to 104....... till this afternoon, felt a little better. Then came this whoozy breezy feeling ....... perhaps like what a junkie experiences (hehe, to tell you the truth, I don't know what that feels like)

During my trip in Bali, I climbed up to Mount Batur, a volcano, and hurt my foot during the process. But that is part of the fun. I was limping around Bali for the next 2 days. I was also stupid enough not to take care of the wound. So I went for hot springs, walk on the beach, play with wild animals, paragliding ... not bothering about the foot.

And you know how you never feel tired when you're having fun? I never felt sick while in Bali (tho there was once I actually felt like puking cos it was too painful), until I came home and feel ill. My leg actually swelled so much that I could not fit into my slipper. My whole body was heating up already ..... so I went for a tetanus jab. Yup, that cleared my mind a bit, at least now I do not need to worry abut infections ..... but the side effects are horrible. And I hope this fever dissapears soon!!

2009-02-25T22:03:00.000-08:00

Once upon a time, this girl called Nicole loved to eat Fish & Chips. But she was afraid of trying it at this particular place, A Star restaurant. In her mind, it was a little over rated, she heard bad reviews before, she was afraid it will be pricey and she didn't know what other type of food will be served there. But her friends tried to convince her to try it and sort of dragged her there.

She loved the taste of the food, the ambience, the friends she went with, the memories and it turned out that the Fish & Chips was delicious. A Star restaurant became her favourite destination.She can't stop talking about it now, recommending it to her friends and wants to try the other varieties there. Only problem is that A Star is situated too far away from her home and she can't make it there on her own. The cost of the dishes there is also way too expensive.

So the only thing Nicole can do is to think about it. She held the memory about it as the best, tastiest, freshest and the dish that gave her the happiest smile. She never had Fish & Chips again after that as she didn't want another Fish & Chip to replace that of A Star's. In her mind, she is always imagining the crispyness of the fish.

She kept the name card of the restaurant for she has the hopes of returning. But once, her mother accidently threw the card away. She was dissapointed as it seemed to have broken the link of her and of A Star.

Time passed but she still held on to her wish of re visiting A Star. She still held on to not eating Fish & Chips. But now, she was invited to her friend's party in A Moon Restaurant to have Fish & Chips. And its an invite she can't refuse.

New taste perhaps? New ambience, new friends, new adventure ..... but a lot closer to home. She is afriad of going to A Moon. Not sure if the first bite of the Fish & Chips there will ruin the memory of A Star's. Not sure if the memory of A Star will slowly fade away. She is not sure if she will enjoy the party. While getting ready for the party, she didn't feel excited (like she normally will .... she felt it was a chore), instead she felt scared.

I have tried advicing her to think otherwise. I have told her that what remains in your memory will be there forever. But now I am lost for words. Nicole is actually on her way to A Moon now. What else can I say to her except 'Good Luck'.

What would you do?

MA/FL 2007 Reunion

2009-02-21T02:19:00.000-08:00

Its been a whole year since I left the bank but the one thing that I did not leave was the other 18 people that I met in the group. I still remember during one of the meetings when we were asked 'What is the best thing you have gained from this Management Associate/Future Leader program?' I answered .....'knowing the other 18'. haha, I know I should have answered the knowledge gained or the experiences in a financial org. Perhaps that would score me a bigger bonus but what I said really came from my heart.

We went through the vigorous interview process together, sat through hours and days of trainings together, explored and drew up projects together, had fun and food together, our numerous crazy nights and gossips together .... all would not be forgotten. I still remember my last day when you guys made me cry ... EVIL. But now you guys keep making me smile ... ANGELS!!

Though a few of us have parted ways, we are all just a call away. And its really lovely to see all 19 of us back together again. Well, it might not be in a UOB meeting room but Italiannies seems like a good meeting place as well. The group was big, yup, it was difficult to talk to everyone. But yet we managed to share so much, update each other and laugh at each other.

Looking back, it was a good experience. A lesson to be learnt and a good story to be told. What impact it had on me .... I don't know. All I can say is .. NO REGRETS! Everything happens for a reason. And I am proud to have you guys as friends!

Reality of routines

2009-02-11T17:03:00.000-08:00

Post vacation, post Chinese New Year, post non- stop eating adventures and post house hoppings ..
. now its time to get back to our daily routine ... wake up, go through the traffic, get to work, lunch in front of the PC, get off work when its dark, go through traffic again, eat dinner in front of the TV, read a book, go to sleep and it repeats itself again.

I even get bored by typing it. But I guess thats the sad reality of life. Work life gets routined. And like it or not, we have to work for survival. True .... some may say that you can make your work your hobby and enjoy it. That is the way you perceive it ... I really enjoy my job, no doubt ... but its just so time consuming. Week nights are taken up, weekends are gone for classes ....and in other words, there goes my life ....

And sometimes, the work just squeezes all the juices out of your mind. It just becomes a shrivelled up piece of dried prune .... its only purpose of existance is to keep you alive so you can go through the same old routine the next day. Perhaps working 8am to 9pm is normal for some .. but to do it non stop and to be the only one in the office holding the fort???? It can kill ......

So its really up to us how we want our lives to be like. Go out for a nice dinner with friends, go watch a movie or just laugh at someone .... it feels good. And once in a blue moon, when your long lost cousin comes to town ... go for a drink and gossip till midnight! You'll never know what your friends have to share .... you will learn a thing or two or even get enlightenment. hmm .... it seriously makes me ponder ...

But yes, work may be tiring, and after a long day at work, you just want to go home, take a shower and play with your dog. Just remember that it is up to you to put some life back in your life. Pick up that phone and make that date ..... its just amazing how friends can put the energy back into you poor limp and drained out body. My korean kim chi .....here I come!!

Japan day 9

2009-02-04T00:49:00.000-08:00

Sob sob! Its the last day in Japan. So many pleasant memories and I am not prepared to leave. If only I had no responsibilities back home and I am blessed with a wallet that replenishes itself. I guess thats the wonder of vacations .... a short excape.

But the whole day was spent packing, saying goodbyes and of course traveling. Time was short so we kind of rushed everything till we reached the airport. It was then when we finally had our late lunch, last minute shopping and lounge lazing (the stoopid plane was delayed). We should have taken a last group picture .... too bad I didn't think of it ... but here's a bright happy one!

Back to my sweet Malaysia that is forever hot yet cosy and where the people I love are back home.

Reflections of the trip? Good weather, good friends, good conversations, good memories, good experiences and it was a spark plug. Igniting me for more adventures to come. I must say that the day I agreed to come on this treip is a day I made a very right decision. A desicion I did not regret at all! Cheers to Japan and the company I had on the trip!

Japan day 8

2009-02-04T00:46:00.000-08:00

Another lazy day for me to sleep in while the rest went for practice. Didn't join the girls for breakfast but instead, armed with a hot bottle of coffee and a red bean bun, I did what I have been wanting to do for so long!! Read a book n the park. And it feels great, crossing your legs while swinging on the kiddy swing and reading the Da Vincci code. But after a while, my ass hurt from the little swing so I took a walk around the village .........ooh so peaceful !! Back to the tea cup in the park for more reading!! Ahh .... the little pleasures of life.

See? You don't need to buy fancy cars or dine in 5 star restaurants to get a kick out of life. Its already the last day in Japan and my shopping mood has not kicked in yet. But anyway, the few of us went down to town for last minute souvenior shopping. A short trip but all our purposes were met. Back to Machida for dinner .... a quick one and back to the rooms ...... though the night was still young.

Sake night!!!!

5 of us cramped in the room ...... taking shots of sake and having fun just chatting away. Well it was a little serious talking in the begining and things just got a little crazier after that. The sake was so smooth and it didn't have the usual burnt musky taste and it just didn't seem to have any effects while shooting them down. But the power just came suddenly. hehe, lesson to be learnt, don't take shots with alcohol you are not familiar with. Its weird how we could let go on one hand but not let go on another? It just an expression that I can't express ... Perhaps metaphorically, its like singing a song without words.

Well, more could be said about our Sake night but its best to be kept in Japan. wuahaha ...

Japan day 7

2009-02-03T17:31:00.001-08:00

An exciting day for all of us as Sugawara Sensei was bringing us to the Katori shrine. To the place where the art all began. So more than 30 of us packed into cars for a road trip that cannot be forgotten. Delegates from around the world all became tourists and were brought around by our lovely hosts. And a big thank you for all their effort.

Katori shrine was about 2 hours drive away and to get there, we had to drive in this underwater tunnel, come out onto an island and then back into another tunnel. See the wonders of transportation? Now I know why they say that tolls in Japan can cut your throat. But on this 'island' the feeling was just superb. It was windy, everyone was happy and in high moods and it just seemed like a perfect sunny afternoon! A short lunch after that and we were back on the road ...

The shrine is just like any other shrine... its true ... a pebbly path, lots of steps and almost the same kind of architecture. But its beautiful, the black wood, the gold paintings and the wonderful carvings on the walls.... so intrincally designed. But one magical property of that spot .... its wonderful ages trees. They stood so majestically, giving you the feel of a collosial imperial Japan. Superb!! Then we went a little more into the alleys to the orignal shrine and a tablet of respect ... But you need to know its history for you to really understand the wonders of the shrine. Originals are always the best.

After waiting for the whole group to gather,(pretty long too ... thats the trouble with big groups) we made our way to another shrine ... the Kashima shrine. It was already dark when we got there. Couldn't see much but I know that it was FREEZING!! At night, in the woods with not much lighting?I thought it would be freaky, but we are in a sacred place after all. So yea ,,,, shrines may be the same everywhere but it really depends on the company you are with. Everywhere is beautiful if you know how to appreaciate it. I guess it is really me. .. I am the type that enjoy the company around me, not so much of where I go or what I do. hehe in other words, I am easily happy (but still freezing my ass off)

Back we go to Machida. And its the first day of the lunar new year. A very important day for us Chines, so we wanted to have a nice dinner!! At first, we thought it would be the few of us, but surprise surprise!!! Everyone joined us!! It was a happy big family dinner ... Went for an excellent syabu syabu dinner!! Totally satisfying .... hot pot on a cold winter day!!! I think I am falling in love with Japan!

Japan day 6

2009-02-03T03:15:00.001-08:00

Its a big day! The day of the festival that all have been working hard for ... well, I could see the excitement in some faces and the stress in others .... but seeing the practice of the day before, everyone is so well equipped and will definitely pull on a great show. It was an impressive event. Set in the city hall ... auditorium style and the place just filled up with audience.

First up was the aikido demonstrations. Groups from around the world demonstrated various techniques. And finally, it was the Malaysian's turn. Lyn Lyn and Alfred put on a great show. I must say that it is one of the best, if not THE best performance. They were young, impressive, their moves were fast and they seems so gentle yet nimble. And what made it more interesting was the 'impromptu attack'. They staged a real life attack and how aikido could be used ... brilliant!

Then of course there were tai chi demonstrations. It too was a beautiful art. So graceful and I always see it as one of China's most prized possesion. Many a great personality is built from the philosophy of tai chi.

Then came the musical performances. Something that kept me waiting for so long. There was Japanese singings, latin American performances, guitars playing etc. And finally, I get to witness the performance that they have all been talking about. A duet, piano by Juliette and flute by Adam. Though I heard them at practice before, this time is so much difference. There is the stage presence and for once, both of them didn't break out laughing in between the piece. Music is just so magical. Then Adam did a solo piece on the piano ... it was beautiful. Again, there was the difference of listening to it right beside the piano and the sounds of it in a big auditorium. hmm , first time I've seen a 'performance' as such and I'm impressed! Congrats guys!! So many people (including me) loved the performance.

Then there was the certificate presentation ceremony. I felt so proud for Adam, Lyn Lyn and Alfred. All the hard work that was put in is now being recognized. And what is most important is the mark that you have made within yourself. Congrats for achieving thus far!!

The Katori demonstrations were up next. And it is really amazing. I love taking videos at the front row, thus getting the perfect view. I loved the sword performance .... action at its best. And perhaps with a little bit of imagination and music in the back ground, you can help but be amazed at the performance. The Malaysian team put up yet another spectacular performance. It was fast and kept you at the edge of your seats.

A good event I would say. We had demonstrations of karate, taekwondo, and many more ........ and what better way to end the festival with a party of food, fun and fellowship? Though everyone was tired, the hall was full of happy people ... all chatting away, snapping photos and exchanging numbers. I must say that I made some pretty good friends too. Thats the fun part about international festivals like this.

It was CNY reunion dinner back home. The night was still young as we bade our farewells. Went for a short drinks, more chat and laughs ....... and you can see hat though everyone was worn out, there was a sense of satisfaction in the air. All stresses gone, we had another 2 fun filled days to look forward for.

Japan day 5

2009-02-03T03:11:00.000-08:00

Did I mention that this trip is also an educational trip/ performance for some of my friends? 4 of them were to either perform some aikido/ katori technique or play a musical piece. So today is rehearsal day for them and I am their photographer. So off we went to thisnearby school hall for practice. And its pretty amazing how martial arts can pull everyone together. There were delegates from Malaysia of course, Sweden, Spain, USA, Russia, Korea, Finland, how could I forget Japan, China and many more.

Its really an eye opener to see so many people practicing the art in front of me, all in one place. I am not very exposed to Japanese arts but its wonderful to see it being demonstrated right in its country of origin. And it seems to me like a very peaceful art. And I am sure that if I were to study it philosophy, it would mean so much more. A friend shared with me that its a teaching, a way of thinking ....... and that is what sets us Asians as uniques collective cultures. So much to be learnt.

But my 3 hours watching them practice was well spent. It really provokes you to want to do something with your own life. Well, of course there was the side rack of chatting, socializing, laughing, photo taking and all .... but it was a good day.

And the best thing that ever happened to me in Japan happened then!! It snowed!! At least for a minute .... its magical. So beautiful ... just watching the gentle while flakes falling from the sky ... so peaceful and so smooth. Its like watching the free floting of paradise. I went outdoors and tried to catch the snow .... with my bare hands .... ok, its a little dissapointing, like ice shavings in ice kacang ...... but its snow!! And it melts i n your hand! And for a minute or two, I was like a mad woman, sitting by a pond trying to catch snow flakes. Words cannot describe how beautiful it was. And the image of snow falling a midst a fake sakura tree (which I discovered to be a plum flower) is just worth the whole trip.

And I can say that I am truly happy. I saw what I wanted to see but I expected not to see. It did not snow in Tokyo for a long time. And it snowed this time round. 3 times in the day. I'm so lucky, so privileged! And its wonderful to have seen it together with your friends, together with other happy people. Seeing such a happy work of nature together with other happy people makes this THE moment of the entire trip! And yes, it is etched in my heart .... the picture that paints a thousand words.

More food and lazing around later, we took another trip to Shinjuku to visit the Honbu Dojo, head quarters of Aikido for the whole world. Worth the ride right? It was settled in some small town, pretty difficult to locate but who's complaining? Its always nice to walk in the cool weather.

It was a good night ... exploring the streets of Shinjuku, busy hunting for good cheap food, laughing all the way with your company, watching the Saturday night crowd hit the streets andhaving your feet hurt like hell. But another good way to end the night ............... it Snowed again on our bus ride home!! A truly magical day!

Japan day 4

2009-02-02T20:45:00.001-08:00

Its a lazy day for me. After all the shopping and walking and eating, I need to let my self time to digest and to enjoy the warm comfy cushions of my bed, erm ..... I mean mattress. Well ....... its time to sleep in while the rest of my room mates went for their martial arts practice. So it was just me with loads of cushions and a nice heater in the room ....... I wish time would stop.

Went for a quick bite with the girls and back to the room for more slumber ...... sheesh, I felt like a pig on vacation! But isn't that what vacations are for? Just wasting your time and relaxing ....... chilling out and doing whatever you want to do? hmmm ...... I really did enjoy this alone time.

It was laundry day! hehe, never experienced those lifestyles where you bring your laundry to the shop, but in your coin and wait till its done. I only see it on TV but now ...... I got to experience it! haha ........ the joys of domestic work. But I guess its a good time to chat away about nothing at all. And thus, it makes me even lazier .... so the group decided to split up. One group went shopping, another went for more food! And a drink buffet. And what do you get when there is unlimited drinks and snacks on the table? We chat even more ....

Can you believe it? We sat there chatting and drinking for 3 hours only to move our asses and go for dinner in another place where we had another drink buffet ... and chatted away till midnight .... I've got a serious feeling that I will evolve to become a pig the next day.

Japan day 3

2009-02-02T01:10:00.000-08:00

Is Tokyo really that big? As we took possibly forever to make our way to our destination of the day. Asakusa! The place of the giant red lantern. It was already lunch time when we reached Asakusa, so we settled for food in this cute little cosy homestyle cooking restaurant. The place in there is a little crammed and the menu was a little limited. But who cares? The food was good ... I had Zosui, or porridge, its so simple but so tasty. In fact, the little shops are the places where you can really find good food. And good food had to be accompanied by Sake. thus ......... we had happy tourists!

So off we went to Asakusa temple. With many roadside stalls selling snacks, souveniors and traditional ware ....... this walk was not a boring one. It was so crowded and so colorful. It really reflects the ultimate sight seeing experience. The smells of fresh rice cakes filled the air and even though I just had my lunch, I just had to snack. The temple was beautiful. The colors was majestic and the building works .... so intricately designed. I don't know why but I love wooden buildings. Just a short tour of the temple and off we went for more shopping.

There were streets and streets of it. Whatever you wanted you could find it. Budget shopping or the classy ones, the stalls there cater to your every need. I even bought a winter jacket there for 1500 yens ... about RM 60. wahaha good deal eh? With a fluffy cape too ....... thats why I love bargain shopping. But the rest of the day was just spent walking and waiting, snacking and people watching (I can taste the sweetness of the red bean bun right now ........ughhh!!!!! hungry)!!

As if Asakusa was not enought, we went shopping in Ueno. Another area with streets and streets of stalls. If you like leather stuff, this is the place to be, but I must admit that I didn't quite enjoy myself there as the leather smell was choking me alive. But anyway ......... its an experience to be there! One of the shopping recommendations.

Shopping can be tiring so back we went to Machida for dinner. And we chose this Jap restaurant that served real Jap food. I had udon with fresh mushrooms and some hill side veggies. Slurpingly delicious. Not to mention some tempura too! And everyone else had selections that looked so delicious. Syabu- syabu, shioyaki, unagi ... yummy! The true taste of Japan.

The rest of the night was a slow stroll along the streets. A short stop to the supermarket and a nice cup of hot chocolate at MOS burger. Nothing better to end your day with the cool air and a nice cup of warm drink wrapped around your palm (it would have been better if there was outdoor seats)

A reflection of life

2009-02-01T01:29:00.000-08:00

I've been back for at least 3 days and I am still not over the euphoria of the trip yet. Help!! Even though I get distracted by the CNY visits and loads of food, I still can't get my mind of Japan. What to do? Seriously ....... I mean literaly, what am I to do?

For the past two months I've been busy organizing this event for work ..... and now its over. For the past few months I've been knitting my shawl for the trip ... so much so that its become a past time and my hands are itching now that I've stopped. And looking back at the pictures, the shawl did serve me well hehe.... so how am I going to fill my time now?

Before I went on the trip, a friend was introducing me to the theory of concentration. Just focus on what you want and it will come true .... so I started small. I wanted snow, and it snowed, I wanted to eat teriyaki, and it was served, I wanted to see geishas ....... well, there was something like that in 1 of the performances. So now I know it works, time to move on to something greater ... I want more vacations.

Its true, now is the best time to travel if you can. I am young, independant, unattached, not much responsibilities and still happy!! There is no use being a hermit in my own circle and not exploring. Not being able to explore and to let my hair down. There is no use stinging on all my savings for a future that will be dull and boring. I won't be able to enjoy traveling so much when I am middle aged with a big bank account or with pesky kids back at home. I won't be able to find a travel buddy when all my friends are married or CEO's of some companies. Now is the time to see the world, to open my heart and to give it space to expand and grow.

My new philosophy ......... live life to the fullest and dance as if no one is watching you.

Japan day 2

2009-01-31T22:21:00.000-08:00

Rise and shine! Its exploration day! To travel from our small town to Harajuku took ages. And the subway is super confusing. So many different lines and so little directions in English. Traveling there is an adventure itself ... and an experience too. Though I am used to the packed LRTs in KL, Japan subways are far worse. They push you in to the brim. You end up having to stand on your toes and even so, you can't fall ........ cos there are people supporting you all the way. Talk about being uncomfortable, fortunately it was winter. And I think I got my jacket torn in the train. bah .......... its not going to ruin my vacation.

Yeah! We reached Harajuku! Time for shopping ... but I still wasn't in the mood for it yet. But it is the ultimate place for people watching! One of my favorite past times and I really don't mind spending the whole day doing that. Well, there were many eye candies, both girls and guys. And 'creatively' dressed people. Oh, what were they thinking? Blond Jap girls dressed in pink tutus with a pink roller bag fixed with ribbons, carrying a pink umbrella though there was no sun or rain, with thick make up and pink patent heels? How about guys with skinny jeans, purple streaked hair with fringes covering half your face and silver studs all over ... oh, and the white face paint? I tried to laugh but I'm afraid that if I do so, that image will haunt me at night.

Another thing worth mentioning is that so many decent men, dressed in coats and ties will just stand by the road. And when they see a pretty girl walking alone, he will approach them and lead her to a shop lot. Heaven knows what its about. But pretty scary too. I was told that it had something to do with the porno industry? But its up to you to decide ....... So sitting by the streets while waiting for the rest of the gang to shop was totally worth it. You get to observe so much in just one sitting. Fashion, cosplay, men in uniforms, weirdos and many many more. All worth a good laugh and even a scare or two.

Lots of walking late, we went to Ometo Sando Hills, the Beverly Hills of Japan. You can really see the difference in class in this area. Just a quick walk in the complexes and I'm back out, sitting in the cool winter air, chatting with friends and people watching again. The ultimate way to kill time. And lots of time was killed waiting for the shoppers but that also meant lots of observations were made. One thing to note ............the doggies are extra fluffy in winter!!

We then went to Meiji shrine. A beautiful sanctuary. Though the entrance was set near a busy train station, the scenary was beautiful. There was a huge toweing wooden arc and you had to track though a long pathway filled with pebbles. Super tiring, super long walk but very worth it. Deeper in, we saw the shrine. There was this water cleansing ritual where you had to was your hands then youjr face. Traditions! The settings are breath taking. Very plain, simple, wooden and pure. I could just sit there the whole night observing the tranquility. It was getting darker and the lanterns made the area so romantic ... too bad the park was closing and we had to leave.

Then we went to this area that is full of IT complexes. Cameras, computers, phones and all sorts of IT shops. You won't even know which shop to step in to. Prices are all so competitive but there is always theissues of international warranties and language settings and taxes etc ... sigh, so close yet so far from my touch screen camera.

My legs are killing me. But Shinjuku was our next stop. Just more walking in the rain, some food and a short trip to the pachinko shop! I've heard so much about this Japanese addiction that I've just got to see it. These centers are everywhere in Japan! But its no different from our slot machines at Genting.

Japan day 1

2009-01-31T21:47:00.000-08:00

My vacation started a little earlier than the rest as I travelled from KL to JB to SG for work and some passport stuff. Well, I hardly call that fun as if was so burdensome ... and the sress really kills all the anticipation and feelings of excitement. Imagine leaving for Japan in 24 hours and I did not feel a things on Sunday?

Anyway, once work ended on Sunday night, it was total shutoff for me .... a whole 11 days of relaxation. Monday was spent lazing around and just chilling out in Johor. The feeling of excitement was slowly creeping in, but it was too slow. The clock was ticking and finally it was time to go.

Everyone congagrated in one house and we left JB for Changi airport together. Well, I had the feeling that something interesting is about to happen but sheesh ........ where has my emotions gone? Its going to be my first time in Changi, my first time so far away from home, my first time in a cold country and my first time out with such a big group of friends, 8 people to be exact. Does it hurt to feel a little excited? Well, give it the benefit of the doubt, it was 4 am and I might have been too sleepy.

8 hours later and I am in Narita!! Land of the rising sun!! It was only 8 degrees then and its true! The air does smell fresher!! Standing out in the open really makes you feel so comfortable ... so clean! And for the first time I felt happy and excited. I am in a foreign land ....... ready to explore and ready for great fun! The ride to the little town that we were supposed to be in, Machida, took us 2 hours from the airport. But it was a good trip. Got to see those bare naked trees .. so artistic. Got to see nice traditional and wooden houses and also vast fields and brownish hills. I knew that I made the right decision to tag along to Japan.

There was of course lots of traveling and tugging along the luggage, and when we reached Sensei's house, it was a nice welcome. Cosy room, warm comforters, small toilet but a feeling of togetherness ....... a perfect place for a slumber party hehe. Our room was on the third floor ... better view, fresher air, stronger wind ....... ahh ... just perfect though it doesn't help that the stairs are out in the open and the railings are made of steel .... brrrr cold to the touch.

So off we went for our first Japanese dinner and a tour of Machida city. We had ramen and trhe cute thing about this was that you order via a vending machine. You put your money in, select your food, out colmes your ticket and you will be served shortly. Thoughout Japan, there are many more shops like this. Talk about technology. But even in fast-food Jap chains like this, food is exceptionally good. I love Jap food and its even better to have it from its original kitchen.

Time for shopping and walking and snacking. Shopping centers are a plenty in Japan. I guess thats one of the few things that people in this modern metropolis do to kill their time. But we also went to this street where there were bargains in little shops. Thats where you can get the real good buys but the shopping bug has not caught me yet. So for me, it was just walking outdoors, enjoying the cool air and people watching. I just love to cool wind blowing in your face (and I can feel it right now as I am sitting in my hot room on a typical warm sunny Sunday in KL). I really didn't mind waiting for the others out in the open ....... its not often I get to enjoy this weather. Call me a 'jakun' but thats my cheap thrill. Street snacks was good too and the best ..... eating green tea ice cream in winter! Slurp!

I miss Japan!

2009-01-30T02:00:00.000-08:00

Sitting here in the office, less than 12 hours after I reached my home, I am wondering .... what the #%%*! am I doing in the office? Its CNY after all and I am not expected in the office anyway ... and post vacation stress disorder can be pretty bad.

The symptoms are .... boring your colleagues with your vacation stories, viewing pictures over and over again, smiling for no apparent reason and feeling hot even when you're in the air conditioned office.

Oh, how I miss Japan .... the air there was really cool and fresh! Though I froze my ass off, I didn't mind at all .... The weather was one of the main reasons why I traveled, not to mention the friends, the experience and food. Being able to shut your self out from the busy world back home works wonders too. And its a great benefit that my GSM phone was not supported.

Looking back at the photos, I regret why I did not take more of them. They're so beautiful, so happy ... and I notice that everyone's smile was extra sincere. It was true happiness .... true relaxation, letting go of all the stresses back home ..... and just being your self for a week or so. Well, at least it applied for me .... no responsibilities, no need to follow my brain ..... as my heart did the talking here. Perhaps it was the winter that gave me a brain freeze.

I can't really explain the feelings I had over the past week, but it was just like Joycy 2 came out. There was a period of time I actually forgot what or who I was back home .... or I forgot my purpose of being there ... everything just felt so natural .... like I was meant to be ... just enjoying my existance and enjoying the environment around.

Now I recognize the importance of taking time out ... time just to shut out from all troubles and enjoy your being.

The past 2 weeks was really an adventure for me. Something I will treasure for a long time. Though I came back a lot poorer, loaded with lots of rashes and sore muscles from that stoopid flight home .... I think I gained so much more from it. The experience was great! I made new friends and got closer to those I already knew. I created memories that will remain forever. I opened my heart in a way that I forgotten that I was able too. I let my self discover the meaning of pure joy. I realized how light I felt and how peaceful my soul felt. Is it the magic of winter in Japan or is it the miracle of vacations?

So more of my adventures coming soon.

Things have got to change

2009-01-14T22:46:00.000-08:00

Words cannot really explain what I am feeling now.

Why can't things just happen as it does?

Why can't today just be like any other day?

Life goes on business goes on and relationships go on

Why overlap the issues and lead a miserable life?

Why has things got to be so crazy before events?

Why don't you trust the people around you?

Why must you make life difficult for everyone?

Will you be happy when you drive everyone else up the wall?

Will you be happy when you mess everyone's plans up?

Will you be happy when no one else is by your side?

Will you be happy when you manage to blame everyone else for your wrongs?

You are not the only one with stress

You are not the only one who has to deal with difficult people or events

You are not the only one who has sleepless nights

Can't wait till this is over. I know I brace my self for times like this- pre events. But no matter how much I prepare, I always feel like things won't change. When will help come? When will the happy environment resume?

January blues

2009-01-13T17:11:00.000-08:00

Phew, its been a hectic week. With the open day in our KL center and having to organize 2 workshops .... I wish there would be more hours in a day. Have been working from 8 am to 8 pm for the past week and finally welcomed a nice break over the weekend ... well, sort of, still had to work in Singapore but I got to travel for food and sleep in the bath tub! wahahaha ... anyway ... another crazy week of work coming up.

But I kind of like it ... working your A$$ off for a project only to have it succeed and bask in the glory of it. Open day was great... people came and went, they understood about hypnosis, experienced hypnosis, and listened to talks. Having 35 people in my small tiny office itself was great too! Fortunately they were only here for 1 hour, if not we will suffocate in this tiny match box office.

Goal Directed master class in KL was good too ... or so that was the reviews I got from my friends. From hotel bookings to participants and facilitators, I can say that event organization was not easy. But everyone enjoyed the course ... I can't wait till I go through it in SG this weekend.

Well, I strongly believe that you can enjoy the fruits of your labour if you nurture it well.

Merry New Year 2009

2009-01-03T22:59:00.000-08:00

Its a brand new year & I don't care what the forecasts or the economists say, but I think that its going to be a good year. There is so much more to expand in my career, so much more stuff to learn, opportunities are everywhere ... and in other words ... I feel good!

The critics are not you! So don't let the media influence how your year would turn out to be.

My resolutions? I want to lose at least 3kgs this year .. can't fit into some clothes. Buts its not good to start my year with negative self esteem ... I'm not fat! I just enjoy food! So this resolution is out. I want to travel and explore new places. Well, I've got a few plans lined up ... but I don't mind more! Even a trip to the town beside my home would be an adventure for me. So open up your eyes... hmm... I also want to try out a variety of cuisines. Life is short .... so enjoy food! The chefs prepare the dish with love and I'll savor the dish with love.

This new year's eve was great! Ahmad said I just learnt to count ...3 ...2 ...1. And I was rewarded with a great display of fireworks at Sunway. And its my first time seeing fireworks so close ... less than 1km away. I get the sight, the sounds minus the smell. Was in Sunway hotel ..birds eye view of the lagoon ...nice!

Went to Euphoria @ Ministry of Sound. An interesting place. Pretty crowded but what do you expect? Its the eve .... music was so- so as it was house night ... but the cool thing was the vibrating dance floor. It vibrates to the beat of the music ... giving you so much more feel to groove to the music. Oh! And there were 2 stories to this club .... lovely! And with an international deejay to beat ... it was a great night.

Lots of fun, good company & well wishes for the new year!

Christmas blessings!

2008-12-28T04:05:00.000-08:00

ooh! A happy and a merry festive season. What you make out of your holidays is what you'll actually get. Armed with the enthusiastic seasons cheer and a merry smile ... I conquered my holidays in the best way I can ever imagine it to be ....

True, there have been talks of love and peace, but how many people actually live up to it? Are they too busy to enjoy the best things of life? There are also those who say that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost ... thats right too ... the religious aspects of it has been overcome by commercialization. The celebration of sacrificial love has been taken over by materialistic love. But yet, how you feel this love will determine how you enjoy your Christmas. No matter what happens, whether you see it as a chance to be with your loved ones or whether you choose to punish yourself and curse the world for its contemporary nonsense , Christmas is CHRISTMAS !! So be jolly, happy and merry!

A nice long break from work (erm .. officially only though), lots of great dinners and lunches and many more to come (many extra kg's came with that), shopping till your feet hurt, a fun outing with the coolest bunch of friends you could ask for, a crazy and MAD countdown to Xmas, dancing the night away, visiting your dearest friends, enjoying the smell of warm brownies from your oven, watching your cousin getting married (I wanna see the day the girls 'play' with the groom), celebrating my grandma's 84th birthday ..... ooh ... I love Christmas!!

I actually felt the heat from the cake when I held the camera right above to snap this shot!

And new year is coming soon ... so here's wishing you the very best of 2009 and may you achieve whatever your heart desires!

In the mood for food

2008-12-22T03:38:00.000-08:00

It's almost Christmas ... a time when you are thinking about love, about carols, about faith ... and also food!

So check out my new blog! And leave a comment or two ...
Let's link up too!

http://www.joycyscravings.blogspot.com

My return home

2008-12-20T09:20:00.000-08:00

Being a toastmaster has really benefitted me so much. It gave me much more confidence, improved my presentation skills, networking skills and so much more .... in short, I am a better person because of toastmasters. You won't know its benefits till you join it. I know it might sound like some cliched MLM program but this is truly how I felt about it.

5 years ago I walked into toastmasters. I was then a shy girl with zilch confidence. Perhaps a 12 year old might be braver than me. But with great mentors and so much motivation along the way, I really gained more confidence. By organizing events and taking up leadership roles, I became so much more competent. There are too many people that I want to thank ... and you're always deep in my heart. And now that I've gained the benefits of it, I want to mentor b

ack others, I want to help others improve through toastmasters too.

And this morning, I went back to the club where I started my journey ... HELP University College Toastmasters Club. From a nervous first time speaker to a president and then a figure behind the scenes, I hold this club so dear to me. Its so sweet to be invited back there, to be looked upon as guidance, to be noted as a senior (sigh ... I know I am old). It was a very pleasant morning meeting .. friendly people, reunion with friends and a warm Christmas party. ooh ... something worth mentioning is the Christmas Yule Log. Yummy choc cake with Xmas decorations.

At times they tease me as the grandmother of the club... but at times I agree too. I feel proud when I see improvements in the other members. Just like how I envision it to be, a little flower bud blooming to become a majestic bouquet. All it needs is showers of confidence and motivation. I feel happy when I see others enjoying their toastmasters journey as well. And I specifically remember one of my mentees ... a perfect example of a shy boy developing to become a star in his own right. Though he left the country, his story always remain as the spirit of toastmasters.

Once again I remind you ... it ain't a scam to drag you in a MLM gimmick, suck all your money and friends out and leave you in a ditch. Its a family that you join to improve yourself by helping others improve themselves.

Don't believe it? Try it ....

English is confusing

2008-12-18T21:41:00.000-08:00

Doesn't matter what the dictionary says, but sometimes, some word definitions are best to be made on the streets ... only then will ordinary people understand what you mean.

Not to long ago, while out shopping with a friend, we were at a pharmacy and started looking a detox tablets. And the whole conversation went on about how effective it was .. or how other natural stuff works as well.

"I don't need it as I just ........" then the whole conversation stopped. Laughter broke out and the topic changed to language.

The million dollar question ..... WHAT IS THE PAST TENSE FOR SHIT?

Shat ??
Shitted??

I shat non- stop after I had that mamak meal?
I shitted this morning?

I sounds weird ... how can you say it without invoking laughter?
See? Language is an art!

Historic getaway

2008-12-15T21:04:00.000-08:00

Sometimes its nice to just get away for a little while. Its always a change to get away from the desk, from staring at the computer screen, from writing articles, from answering the phones non stop, from eating the same old chap fan and drinking Nes-lo in the mornings while checking your email.

I went to Melaka last week. I was tired and bored in KL. Tired of waiting and tired of hoping. Its a nice escape to go to a place where there are excellent sites, good food and lots of sun & walking to do. Its great to dress like you're on a summer vacation, with sunnies and flip flops and just walk, not knowing where the street will lead you too and what treasures you might find along the way (hehe, Spanish guys not included). And the feeling is even greater when you do it on a week day (muahaha .... the thoughts of your friends and collegues working makes your break even a better one)

Sights in Melaka was excellent. Those heritage nyonya houses were so extricately designed. I loved the gold and wooden back drops. I love the temples and the figurines. I love the tiles and antiques that gives you the wonderful memories. Can you imagine sitting on the marble chair while enjoying authentic Peranakan cuisine? It feels like ...... being some one else (and I won't forgive someone for not charging the camera before returning it me)

3 meals in 5 hours, lots of driving, a trip to a dissapointing shopping spot but a great treasure trove ... I need to make more road trips like these.

Jaz beer

2008-12-06T18:54:00.000-08:00

Malaysia has indeed come a long way. I don't know whether to be hushed of it (seeing the political scene) or be proud of it ... well ..

Malaysia has produced its very own beer. Jaz beer ... weird name, but theres awhole wonderful story behind it. Named after a person, I really wish it would grow too. 100% local ....... Although the alchohol content is higher, at 5.5 %, the taste is extremely mild (or smooth, as I was quickly corrected by the Jaz people). Not being a beer drinker myself .. it seems plesant enough.

I went for a Jaz road show last night. Seeing its a new brand, not many people know about this beer. But its weird , the way they promoted it. Yes, it was fun with the giant inflatable beer bottle, their huge furry green mascot with legs that resembled CJ7 and a truck that extends to become a stage. But apart form the beer sales and the normal alchohol promo, they were raising funds for a Chinese school.

Yes, the thought is nobel .. and perhaps drunk people are more generous and will contribute more ... but its just that the channel is wrong. Imagine having a computer lab in your school sponsored by Jaz beer ... and the kids will be like 'ooo.... what is this logo on the computer? Jaz? I must try it out' .... so are we promoting drinking to the kids?

hmm.... I really wonder what the Jaz team was thinking?

Time is like a precious stone

2008-12-03T21:34:00.000-08:00

Time is so valuable .... so difficult to come by. And it really applies to me ... I don't know about the rest .... and I know it definitely is not a source to worry about for some.

When I was young ... time seemed to go by so fast when I was playing masak- masak

When I was a teen ... the perfect date seem to end so soon

When I was studying ... assignments were due almost immediately

When I am working ... tasks were due yesterday ... you had to learn how to juggle stuff

And now when time is running short, I can't stand it when people keep wasting my time.

(I might be a little grumpy these days)

but I don't like it when people force me to go for MLM meetings

I don't like it when you miss call me non stop only to chat about nothings

I don't like it when you make bookings for me without me knowing

I don't like to sit at mamaks for hours just talking about 1 stupid newsletter .. especially not when you were dragged out with a ton of work still left undone (Yay! retirees win hands down for whiling away time)

Joycy's project

2008-11-27T19:03:00.000-08:00

I have been on this crazy experiment for the past week.... absteining from MSN and Facebook. Well, I know it was a very sudden thing, a last minute a-ha! decision. And when I made it, I just closed all applications ... immediately. Without telling anyone where I was or what happened to me. my apologies if I worried you guys!

But I did it for a reason. Well, I actually wanted to do something crazier (some of you might know what it is). I know deep down inside that I will be partaking this 'task' for research and experience only. I know that I will be able to pull a stop when I want to. But there is this nagging feeling in me (and also many nagging voices beside me) that says ...'what if I can't call it to stop'?

Thus ... branch A of my master plan was born. I will take away something that I truly love for a while, and see what the feeling is like. MSN & Facebook! The greatest creation of man kind. I wanted to feel how missing a part of you would be like ... how different it would be to break a habit and do something else ... how you would spend the times normally spent facebooking ....

And the result? Well, I was pretty cool on the first day. Finding other things to surf on the net. Then on the proceeding days, I seem to hallucinate the little MSN pop up at the corner of the screen. I unconsciously click on the MSN/ FB icons (but of course I don't log in). Then after a few days I start giving myself so many excuses to need to chat with my friends. Even for people I don't normally contact .... the need arose! I felt socially ostracized. I missed being in touch with people, I missed being up to date.

As the days went by, the urge became stronger and stronger ... but since I set the timeline myself, I had to stick to it. I found things to do to keep me occupied, to distract myself. Of course there was work in the office, I left office early so I won't have to face the computer so long, I went out with friends, cooked dinners, started knitting, read books (all to keep away from the pc at home).

I know its a stupid experiment. Not the least likely to be able to gauge the feeling of having something taken away FOREVER! It was just a temporary measure. As I know I will get back my joys after a week, the abstenence was not that bad. But at least, I know a little of what it felt like ..... and if I want to know the effects of my master plan, I will need to multiply this feeling by a hundred.

And the conclusion on my master plan .... to be announced soon!

It didn't occur to me when I was FB-ing .... but as I was writing this report, something a friend said made so much sense ...

' Why defend our believes if we truly belief?'

O Christmas tree

2008-11-24T21:55:00.000-08:00

My master piece ... Check out the one of a kind ornament that I put on the tree. It's white, has a tail and does not belong to my Mac.

And oh what fun it is, to listen to carols, while having the cool air of a fake air conditioned winter, watching the Christmas lights blinking in front of me ...... oh how I love Christmas. And there are so many reasons for me to do so ...

1) Christmas carols

2) Christmas parties

3) Christmas trees

4) Presents under tree

5) Fruit cake and sherry

6) Wrapping presents

7) Shopping for presents

8) Seeing friends receiving your gifts

9) Photo taking with your friends

10) Santa Claus

5 down 2 to go

2008-11-23T21:05:00.000-08:00

I'll do anything for the sake of research ... or call me the guinea pig

I feel it, I know it

I'm getting weaker by the days

My fingers are feeble

My mind is astray ....

I'm hidden in the dark closet

With spiders as my best friends

I am crying alone in silence

Praying for the key to be found....

So this is what its like

Longing for something so dear

Unable to touch it while its near

So now I experience it

Not appreciating it when its right in front of you

Not enjoying it when the company is right with you

Absence makes the heart grow fonder

I do not want to lunch alone

I do not want to spend nights in silence

I do not want to be left out in the world

Stupidity kills

2008-11-18T02:46:00.000-08:00

Here is a little game for you .... guess which plaster is the new one? haha, the ironic thing? Both my injuries are on my index finger, on the left and right hand. How could I injure those? They are oh so important for IMR ... sheesh ... no therapy for the next few days..

See those two cute little balls? Well, they are from .... and its all his fault I got injured while playing with them. They are actually key chains, with the metal ring attached on top. So when the first ball dropped off, he gave me the second ball. And when the second ball dropped off, I couldn't take it anymore. (see how fragile and useless they get, perhaps we don't need it but at times, they're fun to roll around) They needed taming, needed fixing.

No tools in the office, only 2 pairs of scissors to act as plyers. Well, it might be a little dumb .... infact very dumb to use the scissors to force open metal rings .... the result?

Orphaned balls and wounded fingers ... no wonder I am typing so slowly.

Need to be responsible

2008-11-14T05:32:00.000-08:00

Don't people know that having a pet is like having a kid?

Just like a baby, you need to spend time to care and love it.

You need to have the financial resources to feed it or clothe it.

You need to have commitment to teach it and train it.

You need to play with them to show them the human touch.

It is not merely walking into a shop and buying a doggie soft toy.

It is not just the thrill of opening a Christmas present and see a puppy inside.

It is a walking, living and feeling thing .... so think before you commit.

It is not uncommon now. Foreign students who thinks that they are loaded, buys a designer dog, loves it while they are studying here and just dump them when they return to their home country. Leaving the poor dog lost on the streets, not knowing where to find food ... and worse, wondering where their owners, or parents are. Wondering when they will come back for them.

Those poor little things can feel the hurt too. Feel the pain of being abandoned. Feeling the hope that will be broken soon. Is this the right way to treat them? Don't they know that animals have feelings too? They have rights .... just like us!!

Oh .. those stupid irresponsible self centered beings that don't deserve to be called humans!

@#@#%U&#!#$%

Do you know him?

2008-11-11T19:25:00.000-08:00

Received a surprise when I reached home after the weekend. When the car pulled up the driveway, I noticed that Zeus's bungalow was wrapped in plastic, as if a serial killer was quarantined in there. Put in the corner of the garden, it was dark and the jasmine bush was making it feel a wee- bit haunted. It was dark and drizzling ... giving it the effects of the spine tingling shudder. Zeus's house has been abandoned as my little brat has taken over control of my house! And my room! So it was something fishy!

Then I heard scratching sounds, and Zeus was barking like mad ... damn, dogs can sense these kinds of stuff easily. Freaky! So I took a peek. It was black ... and it smells ....

hehe .... Do you know him? A lost dog followed my mum home. So if you know of anyone who lost a dog around Damansara Jaya, let me know. Mum found it on Sunday ... so keep a look out ya!

I suspect it does not have eyes as I can't see them. But its super cute when it jumps up your lap or stand on its 2 hind legs when begging for food. This little fella can really spin around too. But its no fun that you can't use it as a foot rest or you can smack the fella as you're afraid you might break the bones ..... hmm, actually, there is no space big enough for you to put your whole hand. Big dogs are the nicest. Especially cute is when the big dog plays with the small dog. haha cute to see the big buffalo trying not to squish the small one. Or its funny to see the small one swept back when Zeus wagged his tail.

So help me spread the word of this poor orphaned dog yea?

My utopian thought

2008-11-11T02:06:00.000-08:00

Just got back from a trip to Singapore. And once in a while, I wonder if it is worth it? True, i get fun times, loads of it, but of course there are also the hassles. Perhaps there are signs going on around but you have to be quick to pick them up. Perhaps its an invitation for you to escape ..... I know its tempting but thats only a source of escape, not a long term one.

I know that it is a learning experience, everything that I do I can benefit from it ... but sometimes you will wonder ... you will think, that why does have things got to end in a certain way. I was given a pre warning that what was falling on my lap was going to be a tough one. But I was optimistic ... I thought that with proper support I could do it.

What makes me wonder is why some people cannot make work issues and people issues a separate thing? Fine , I know I am an emotional freak who makes decisions based on emotions. But what I mean is ... don't project your emotions on the people around you. If the situation brings about stress, just breath in and handle it with a clear mind. Don't go barking around and project your frustrations on others. Worst of all, don't go around accusing people of things and regret them later on.

We all hate stress and wish to leave it quarantined but the truth is, we cannot escape it .... so just stand up to it. And if you look at it in a positive way, everything can be solved in a better and smoother way. If you take a deep breath and settle it as a team, things will be easier on you and definitely, solved faster too. DEFINITELY it won't spoil the mood of the people around you...

I know its a utopian thought, but people are there to help you, not exploit you. That says it all ... people skills are important. And how ironic is it that I picked up a book on people skills. A skill that should be taught to all ....

Bah ... there goes my day....

2008-11-04T02:02:00.001-08:00

OH HEALTH!

2008-11-04T00:47:00.000-08:00

Whee! I did it again. Some reading for you.

If only I could write my name.

Go check it out in Oh Health! Magazine

I think it will come out in the December 2009 issue,

or maybe it came out for the November one ... not too sure.

But to save you money, you can read it here.

And since the author does not get commission for every magazine sold,

I give you full permission to read it here ...

Learning from them

2008-11-01T03:24:00.000-07:00

It will never dawn on you that you have problems until you search for them . And since its an underlying problem, something that doesn't bother you on a daily basis, let it lie low. Let it heal by itself as time passes by. Just make sure not to aggravate it furthur. But how would you know if your aggravating it when you don't know that it is there?

Nothing is too big a problem unless its bringing you immediate harm. Unless your problem is staring at you right at your face, like being in front of a raging bull or having no water in the middle of the dessert. Unless it threatens your life, why let it bother your pretty little face? With it or without it, you still have to live your life, so why not life it in the future and imagine the best out of it? Why stay back in the past and ruminate about solving old problems? .... thus leaving you vulnarable to new problems?

Some people might not agree with me. I am not asking you to avoid your problems and shun off responsibilities. What I am saying is that you should accept your problems with a positive heart ... and think of constructive ways to solve it. Don't let your problems pull you down ... but let your problem give you a lesson.

Yes, I admit that I have a problem, a problem that has been around for a long long time. But I did not let that issue bother my daily life. For years I've lived around it, learnt to cope with it for I know it can't be solved over night. It wasn't there at all ... until a situation called. And when the time came, I remembered this problem that was presented years ago. I re-evaluated ... only to see that there was an improvement. Time, did heal itself ...... Recognizing it again will help the situation.

We can't help it ... problems will be around us all the time. But its our choice how much we want to let it afffect us.

Happiness in a trip

2008-10-28T21:52:00.000-07:00

Happiness is not going for a tour of Europe ... its being able to walk around and enjoy the scenes in your own backyard.

Happiness is not being surrounded by a party of friends who shower you with gifts .... its doing something and spending time with the people you care for.

Happiness is not dining at the best 5-star restaurant ... its being to enjoy the taste and passion used to prepare a dish.

And a short getaway to Bukit Tinggi last weekend really gave me the picture of what happiness is.

The wonderful dark and silent world

2008-10-25T04:10:00.001-07:00

Went back to YMCA for an event that my deaf friend organized. Though I am a super long expired member of the 'Friends of the Deaf' group, it is so sweet that they keep inviting me back for events. And so last night I finally went, for a movie : Hellen Keller.

Though I watched it before, its always inspiring to know how people with limitations are able to survive and even shine ever so brightly in life. Hellen was stuck with a disease and became both deaf and blind. All she could do before she met her teacher was to throw tantrums and have everyone around her taking pity of her. But her teacher, Annie Sullivan taught her how to be independant and gave her the will to succeed in life. And its amazing how Hellen acquired an honors degree. Truly respectable!

I really can't imagine living in a silent world. You can't hear people talking to you or can't enjoy music. You can't experience expressions or sounds of raindrops. You have to live a life where people will perpetually look down on you. I have heard for myself how people judge the deaf, thinking that I couldn't hear when I was with a group of deaf. If only the deaf friends knew, how would they feel? Or perhaps they already knew ... and got to learn how to live with it.

It is extremely difficult to find a job or to go around getting chores done. But yet, the deaf have managed to do so well in life, yet they mange to stay so optimistic. And sometimes even having a more optimistic approach than us. They tell us that being deaf is worse than being blind. I believe that that might be true. You can see people around, but you are actually alone. You can see things happening, but nothing can be heard. Its like watching a movie alone in a cinema, with no one around you.

Yet I treat my eyes as my most precious sense of all. Thankfully I am blessed. With them I get to see friendly faces and get to look at wonderful scenaries. I get to see where I am going or what I am eating. No doubt, sometimes feeling something would be greater than seeing something, but being able to do both is just a miracle.

Being blind makes you very vulnarable. You need to trust people and believe that they wont harm you. Anyone, can lead a blind to walk straight into the ditch. But I guess, humans would not take advantage of the less fortunate.

But being both blind and deaf at the same time, that takes great courage. Seeing how Hellen put in effort to learn, how difficult it was for her to understand, really makes you wonder just how strong a person's will can be. It shows you how much love has to be around that person in order for things to happen .

I've tried it before. Pretending to be both blind and deaf at the same time. And communicating was not easy. It took me forever just to realize that my friend was trying to tell me 'the box on the table'. You really have to feel the signs your friend is showing. And you'll realize how beautiful is the art of the deaf and the blind. You'll then realize how important it is for you to appreciate whatever senses you are blessed with. You'll then be amazed at how strong the human heart and mind can be. And definitely, you'll salute how the less fortunate become what they are today!

Reunion of 2, or was it 3

2008-10-23T23:30:00.000-07:00

Its a weird way how Micheal, Michelle and Nicole met. A weird weird way ... Or maybe it was how Michael and Nicole met, only to have Michelle come in the picture. Or maybe Michelle was there all along, only Michael thought he 'WAS' present. I guess we'll never know ... we've got to ask the creators themselves .... Michael, Michelle and Nicole. Confusing eh? I am too .... but damn glad of this whole picture.

It may have been 2 years since this complicated picture was drawn up, a result of our abnormal psych project. And I so so so love the video that we made. haha, Michael might kill me if I reveal the whole truth (but then again, Michael has vanished from the earth).

So the 3 people behind the characters met up for a reunion last night .... was eating and laughing non stop. Oh! our channels could not click as always and we just stared at each other and burst out laughing .... that summarizes the whole picture ... lame jokes and just laughter.

But Michael was so sweet and decided to enlighten us about dining ettiquette in UK. First you have your appetizer, then your main course. But then you have to have something in between to 'neutralize' your taste buds ...... so take a wild guess on what this is called????

Tourist in your own home

2008-10-20T04:40:00.000-07:00

Its fun to be a tour guide once in a while. Bringing people
around to places you call home and showing them what locals eat.

In fact the best way to actually experience the culture of a foreign land is the do what the locals do. Go to places where they hang out and try the everyday things that they do/ eat/ talk about.

And that is exactly what we experienced the last weekend. A few of us brought our guest lecturer from the UK and a few Singaporeans out for a haunt of KL city. Well, not the tourist destinations but regular lepak places.

Because that is what I want to experience when I am in a foreign land my self. No doubt I would want to go to those famous spots for photo taking and for a memory of my trip. But what I really want is to hang out at road side stalls to try the good food, go shopping at alleys or markets to find bargains or walk along the streets to see locals in their everyday environment. Only then, can you see it from their eyes, the culture of the people. Only then, can you say you have BEEN to someone else's country.

Twin happiness

2008-10-16T22:34:00.000-07:00

Its always a good thing to start your day off with an unhealthy breakfast! And its a rare privilege too! Nasi Lemak!! So fattening and artery clogging but yet ... truly Malaysian! ooh, I love the taste of the egg yolk mashed in the sambal to be eaten together with the rice! Not that its difficult to find Nasi Lemak around here, but its just that I always wake up late and don't have the appetite for spicy food!

But this time, I got more than I bargained for. With my usual cup of Neslo and the pack of calories in front of my Mac, I opened the box and was welcomed by the smell of hot steaming santan rice. Its always a ritual to eat nasi lemak. And as I always do, I seperate the ikan bilis from the peanuts. Oh and throw away the ikan bilis with heads too .... can't imagine the thought of chewing on their heads. Then I scoop my sambal to the top of the box and is prepared to cut the boiled egg into half, take out the yolk and mash it into the sambal .... but

EEEEWWWW!!!

I was sort of disgusted. Wanted to throw the whole box away. There were 2 yolks in that 1 egg. No doubt it wasn't fertalized and no chick will come out. But still ..... eww, it could have been twins!! Or it might be a mutated egg. You might eat it and grow another head. Or one yolk might be chickless and 1 might be chick-ed. You'll never know ..... gross.

But after lots of encouragement that it's fine to eat, I did! And if you see it carefully, it might actually bring lots of optimism.

You have two yolks instead of one. Nicer sambal paste! And how often do you get to see these kinds of phenomenas? And you were given this privilege. An optimistic person will see it as double happiness. It might be that good things are happening to you. It might be that there is actually someone beside you all the way. It might also be that its a sign of prosperity. Once again ... you get to choose how you want to see it.

I believe that what ever you do, there are signs showing you or guiding you. You will never be alone in whatever issue that you are facing. It might be a friend, the media or even some stranger on the road. Say for example I cannot decide between going for a social outing or to attend a workshop. Then I so happen meet a long lost friend who mentioned about another friend who I was supposedly to meet for the social outing. See .... the decision was guided for me. And the outcome ...... heheh I collected a long forgotten debt!

Back to the egg yolk issue. I chose to see it as I would receive two pieces of good news. Although I have only received 1, but the law of the twin yolk says the other will be coming. Though I receive many many through out the day ...... the twin yolk has been a blessing!

Great optimism

2008-10-14T19:56:00.000-07:00

One day a wealthy gentleman took his son to the country to show him how the poor lived.

Upon returning to his luxurious mansion the father asked the son if he learned anything.

"Well," the son began, "I saw we have one dog and they have four. We have a pool that reaches to the garden, and they have a creek that has no end. Our patio reaches to the front yard, and they have an endless horizon. We have lanterns in the garden and they have the stars at night. We have servants who care for our needs, and they serve others. We buy our food, they grow theirs. We have walls to protect our property, and they have friends to protect them."

By this time the rich man was speechless.

"Thank you, father," the boy said, "for showing me how poor we are."

Weird feelings

2008-10-14T00:39:00.000-07:00

Fear is normal in all human beings. I remember being afraid when I did something wrong for mummy might smack me. Or later, I had a feeling of fear when I was to take exams or the first public speaking on stage or of going for the first job interview. Its kind of like little butterflies in your stomach. And its kind of nice as it spurs you on to do better. Sometimes it can be a motivation for you to even work harder to get rid of those butterflies.

I kind of like those positive stress but sometimes those feelings get mixed up with other feelings and those butterflies might turn into some type of nerve wrecking moths that eat up your stomach linings. I just had this weird and unexplainable feeling in me the whole weekend. It was like fear, anxiety, uncertainty or nervousness. It might be six sense (which I don't have), my feelings of guilt for abandoning Zeus for 3 nights or heart burn from the tom yum I had previously. I really don't know.

It's your own life

2008-10-05T02:07:00.000-07:00

And since your life belongs to you, its really up to you to arrange what goes on in it. You have a choice as to whether you want to live a productive life, a happy life or one that its filled with misery. Well, I definitely have drawn up how I want to live my life ... my happy life, and nothing can stop me from doing that. hehe .... only a few would have seen how I sacrificed and what I did to whatever that stood in my way to leading a happy life.

I guess I have the authority to say this .. 'Be firm in your principles'. When you set your heart to do something, don't give up so easily. There will bound to be road blocks along the way but you just have to be courageous enough to overcome it. I know, it may be tempting to go with the flow of the blocks, but where will it lead you to eventually. Are you willing to stray so far away from your original goal, not knowing how you will be able to bounce back on track?

True, there are times when we are just dragged by the collar to the road of uncertainties. But if you look hard enough, there are alarm clocks all around you. Things or people that can wake you up or slap the sense out of you. So when faced with life's blockages ... just remember ... FOCUS!

9 Emperor Gods Festival

2008-10-02T08:44:00.000-07:00

Have you wondered why it rains everyday? Every year around this time, I know its not a good time to plan for BBQs ... it always gets thwarted by the rain .... or my mum's rheumatism will kick it. But we know it will only last for 9 days.

hehe, I decided to be a good girl and went for prayers instead of the regular shopping malls and coffee chats. Went to the 9 Emperor Gods Festival in Ampang. Its really great to absorb the sights, sounds, colors, environment and culture. And it brings back good memories ... I know I am weird but I love smoky temples and the smell of incense. I am used to the burning of joss sticks and 'money'. And the sound of the 'chim' or fortune sticks just makes me feel so at home. hehe ..... long story.

Anyway, I went for this festival,it is to celebrate the return from

heaven to earth of the 9 Emperor Spirits and the Taoist goddess of the sea and queen of heaven (no wonder its th

e wet season). And its a beautiful celebration.

I went once for a procession at night.

People were carrying chariots and devotees were chanting while walking along the roads. People were walking on coal barefoot and climbing up really steep poles. This year round, I went in the day time. Saw so many things! Many devoted people, arts, fortune telling and even Chinese Opera! Though it was hot and I was melting (of all days I wore a long sleeved black shirt), it was really an eye opener for me. Its like being a tourist, or a Chinese for the first time, or my first encounter with a temple. Its just magnificent. Culture never ceases to amaze me.

I was electrocuted

2008-09-29T08:04:00.000-07:00

I've been on a high lately. And its a positive high. Since I've started my diploma course in Clinical Hypnosis, I seem to want to know more about it, ....and thats not all, things that happen around me or stuff that people say will all , either directly or indirectly, have a tie related to hypnosis.

A friend was complaining about headaches the other day and how it goes away when she gets distracted. She mentioned how it comes to her when she is alone or when stressed ... BINGO! It hit the perfect spot for a conversation on hypnosis. Then just last night I went out with a relative who was a heavy smoker .... the wife wanted him to quit smoking so badly, and again, I brought up hypnosis. hmm....... is it coincidence or what???

But like a friend said 'every thing happens for a reason, there is no such thing as coincidence'.

To make me even higher, a course mate brought an EEG machine to our office. For those of you who are blur, it is an Electroencephalography machine. As the name says it, it studies your brain functions through electric currents. haha .......... being a wee- bit adventurous, I volunteered to be the subject. I was fixed up and attached with all sorts of wires, have wires clipped to my ears, have patches stuck on my head and was prepared for the worst to happen ......... the ELECTRIC CHAIR ...

Only that this wasn't the death sentence, it was the comfy recliners in our office. So I was put into trance and the machine could see how deep my level of trance was. It could gauge my brain waves and could see my level of activities. hmm, for those who know, I hardly reached the tetha level or a sign of trance), instead, my mental activity was high and I was thinking too much ..... even though I was physically relaxed and emotionally calm. The verdict .............. I was kinesthetic and the Healing White Light didn't work for me ......... too much processing.
A really good experience. I really can understand now how different techniques will work differently on different people. Then over the weekend, we had a hypnosis class as well ... explored a great deal of it with Peter Mabbutt, director of studies for the LCCH and also author of Hypnotherapy for Dummies! Such a great lecturer and it was great to have hime teach us about depression and selective amnesia ... ooh ....... its a wonderful journey into the world of hypnotherapy.

Journey down south

2008-09-24T07:46:00.000-07:00

Back from a great adventure. I battled dragons and sat on flying saucers .......... NOT! But this was a different adventure. And adventure of learning and of experience. A chance for me to grow and to explore my future ... as to what it holds for me? I'm not sure too.... thats why my life is always an adventure.

Had my first diploma in Clinical Hypnosis weekend in Singapore. Was down for studies and work as well. And it was a good experience for me. I am really thankful for this opportunity. It really allows me to see both inside and out of me. Both things near home and far from home. hmm, I guess SG is not really far from home. But what I mean is the difference in exposure. You'll feel a different kind of confidence. You'll have the kind of good pressure to perform, the kind of positive stress that pushes you to go the extra mile. I've always wanted to go abroad for studies. But circumstances forbade ........... and being patient has paid of. No doubt its just a strait away, its still overseas! Yay!! I get to travel! A dream I always had and a wish that I am glad is slowly realizing.

hmm, juggling time for both duties wasn't an easy task. At times you lose your concentration and maybe even focus. At times, you may even lose part of your mind. But thats ok, because being in the adventurous mode, there's always time to explore the place you are at.

On my first night, I explored Orchard road. From my hotel on one end, I walked to god knows where. Watching people, how they dress, how they act and how they seem to rush around ... is pretty interesting. Especially when you have nothing to do except to hold a bag of chips in your hand. haha, ultimate pleasure. Then on the second night, I did some sight seeing with a friend. Toured along the highways of the island only to find out how small the place is. But its interesting that all good things can come in small packages.

Had some good dinner in South Beach!!! Was really stuffed but satisfied. Needed to burn the stuffings up by going to a walk. By the beach! And its so good to feel the sea breeze, in Singapore! Though it was a tiny beach and might not have such a good view during the day, it was a beautifully organized place. There is a bicycle track, tents for you to pitch and barbeque pits too... The whole place feels so 'vacation-ny'. hehehe imagine if it were in Malaysia? Vandalized ...

And I had the privilege of cruising along the actual F1 Singapore track. And its so cool. With the barriers all around, and stands for the spectators everywhere, it felt as if we were in the spot light. The strong lights were shining down on the car and the road. It just gives it the racing fever .... right in the center of Singapore city, or at least at Marina Bay.

Ended my trip by a short visit to my friend's place in JB. And its always fun to just chat away to just about anything. And traveling in a journey out of the ordinary. Like I said, things are not as simple as what your eye may see. But the biggest surprise it yet to come. Hidden right at the backyard were puppies!! Ooh! the highlight of the whole trip! Four fat little furry cuties. If only I could kidnap one home. They are at the cutest moment of their lives! About 3 weeks old, with cloudy eyes and can hardly see their way. hehe, they look so cute when they walk aimlessly into one another or when they try to helplessly climb up from the ditch! How nice if puppies don't ever grow up. If only they could stay at that age to bring smiles to everyone and to melt hearts to be peaceful and loving ............... eeeeeeeeeee ...... puppies have a way of making you high! I want one!!!

The wait is over

2008-09-18T05:31:00.000-07:00

Finally, after 49 months of waiting. I finally got what I want. And this wait was a long and painful one. But you know the old folks always say, "Good things comes to those who are patient". And in this case, I really agree to it. The wait was well worth it.

I still remember four years ago. I was a little sceptical then, on whether I should do it, after hearing so many horror stories and of all the bad experiences that others have been through. But for the sake of future .... the sacrifice is worth it. I mean, we've all got to plan, look into the future and invest for the best. In everything that we do, we have to sacrifice. I mean seriously ..... think about it, no pain no gain.

Yes! Only 1 word says it all .....bwahahahaha (OK, that wasn't a word, it was an expression) But I'm too happy! Want to know the reason behind my joy? You've got to wait for the news from the horse's mouth

A merry go round

2008-09-15T04:59:00.000-07:00

Never stop being amazed at the things that you can see, hear, learn and do around you. There cam a point in my life where I thought life became dormant. My days back then were all about a 9am-9pm job. People that I met were all about business and more business. My social life had to be put on hold, my friends and family even became secondary to me .... but like I said, that was the past.

I admit, it even says so on my recent 'reading', that I was blinded by the artificial life. I was living a life not being true to my self. I wasn't even happy back then ..... I wasn't even able to listen to what I really want. And now I know that I should not dwell on the past. True .... I think too much, and it might be a big problem for me if I keep occupying my head space will things thaat I can no longer touch or change. So why not choose to learn from it? Which is what I am doing ....

Life has been a complete turn around for me. This lunar year really brought about a new Joyce. One that knows the meaning of life, emotions and goals. I never know how to see if its a good year for me based on the Chinese zodiacs but I know that it has brought great change. I know know what I can work forward to, I now know who my true friends are, I now know how to love myself, I now know the most important thing in my life.

Things have come and gone these past 9 months. And I think I have become stronger and more experienced. I see better, though not the best. I have had wonderful conversations that open up my eyes. And it has really widen my horizon. Helping me to see things that are there .... but I could not see. So take a tooth pick and jam those eyes open!! Life is limitless in front of you!!

And the most important thing is that I know how to appreciate the things around me, to learn from it and to grow with it. And you should too....

The verdict @ Alexis

2008-09-07T22:13:00.000-07:00

It may have passed some time ago but the memory and the lesson learnt will forever be with you. Well, not exactly that long, but 2 weeks ago. I am talking about the speech workshop that we conducted. We just had a post mortem meeting cum dinner the other night @ Alexis. I was definately looking forward to this event, for 2 reasons ..... the good food and the feedback of the whole workshop.Oh ... the venue was heavenly. It was an ambience that was cosy and yet contemporary. Simple grey furniture amidst a grey background. Hanging cupboards with utensils were hanging around, giving the feel that you were dining in Ikea's show room. And it was the open kitchen concept. Its so fun to see the chef baking your pizza or making stew in their copper utensils. haha ... no more horror stories of chefs spitting into your food.

If you like chic dining, then this is the place to be. Ooh

... I love the taste of their mushroom pizza. Its so crunchy and fresh. Garnished with raw herbs, all the natural flavours oozes out. And the cheese ..... so so rich! Also must try is their bruchetta with sun dried tomatoes and balsemic vinegar. Its amazing how they make it so soft yet so full of flavour. Ah, who could go to Alexis and not try their Tiramisu? Lip smacking! There is the hint of liquer on the layers of moist sponge. And the taste of the coffee emulco, added on with the chocolate shavings just makes it so tempting

. Topped with glazed almonds and served with raspberry sauce at the sides, the tiramisu was the highlight of the night! Well, so was sipping white wine and chatting with your friends over jazz in the back ground.

But the verdict was out. The participants did their evaluations and the more senior toastmasters were ready to give us all some pointers or two. Well, its my first speech workshop after all and the others, are trainers by profession. Still alot to learn. Overall, I must say that the team did extremely well in the coordination and logistics. Its just amazing how we sailed through the whole 2 days with out hiccups and how everybody knew and performed their tasks supporting each other. All of us evaluated the participants when they spoke and they were really appreciative of that. But by the end of the two days, all of us had dry throats .... hehe

I am very proud of my session as well. I had good feedback from both my seniors and the participants. My topic was on impromptu speaking .... that means, how to speak without time to prepare. Tricky eh? But I went up with confidence and gave some pointers and techniques. I was the first speaker of the workshop, and was very nervous (lucky it did not show), as the first speaker will either make it, or break the whole workshop. hehe ... I guess its me, but I get the kicks out of speaking up in front. Its addictive. At first I thought I was being a bore as the participants were just staring at me. It did comfort me a little as some were taking notes. Then came the Q & A session. I thought to my self, 'oh no .... pin drop silence'. But people kept on asking and asking non- stop. Even the COO of some MNC asked ...'How do I answer my boss if I don't know the answer?' Then this VP of some resort asked 'how do I not sound stupid if I can answer immediately'. Haha, this is where my expertise comes in ..... Crapalogy!!

Fortunately, I handled Q & A well. The emcee even had to stop the questions from coming. Its a good sign. But I definitely need to pick up facilitation and time management skills. The trick is, when faced with tough situations like this (imagine a young exec trying to teach a COO how to handle the boss?), take a deep breath and stay calm. The answers will just flow to you. And it helps if you've got reassuring team members. Looking at their smiling and nodding heads, I knew I was going in the right direction. hehehe ..... public speaking does give me the adrenaline rush!

So Deloitte Speech workshop, here I come!!

I need music!

2008-09-05T02:27:00.000-07:00

Overdose of music ... and if you see me now, its nothing but a big silly grin on my face. It must be the weekend bug that is coming ... or the many many activities that I want to do.

So here I am, listening to More than words by Extreme. Oh, such a wonderful piece. Oh, how I love a cappella. Makes me want to learn guitar. How nice it would be to be strumming this piece when you are out for a camp fire with your friends. So its a deal Ahmad ..... we will be learning how to play the guitar. No running away! And it begins on Monday .... provided I can get my hands on it.

Here I am, listening to Hey Jude by the Beatles. Such a simple and yet imaginative song. Its definitely going to be on my select list at Neway tonight. Its amazing how the different band members synchronize to make such a wonderful song.

Here I am, listening to Because I am a girl by Kiss on piano. oooh .... such an emotional and touching song. If only you had watched the movie, I think this piece can move you to tears. Listening and watching the grace and the tempo of the musicians is just such an awe.

And I found a new love ... downloading all the good songs on You Tube. But do beware, it can get you addicted and make you want to head right to the music store and sign up for classes. Its just such a wonderful way of expressing yourself. You can share your feelings through whatever piece you want and let those around you join you in this wonderful state that you are. And music is able to transport you to a world beyond your imagination. This, I cannot explain, you have to feel it for yourself. Everyone's imagination is unique ....

Argh ..... Ahmad! You created a junkie in me! I need music!!! There is so much I want say, so much I want to feel so much I want to write .... but I can't. I'm distracted by the song Jessie by Joshua Kadison blasting right beside me. Tonight is music night Ahmad! And no matter what, you've got to sing!! We'll make sure you do!!

What do you want?

2008-09-02T07:28:00.000-07:00

The world is one big playground. No, I am not talking about our hilarious political situation. And yes, everyday in life, whatever you are doing or where ever you go, you never cease to entertain yourself (it won't sound wrong if you don't think wrong).

The last weekend was a nice long break for me. Something that I really needed, time to just chill out and become a log. Time to just reflect on what I really want in life. Time to think and express yourself.

There were outings and there were late nights. There were panda eyes and some not so pleasant moments. But who can actually brag that their live is a painting drawn with pure gold and silver linings? Someone actually told me, the reason why in religion, we are called 'lay people' (or fan yan in cantonese) is because we have to think. We have to go through suffering, through confusion and through tribulations in order to survive and to succeed.

It is not often that we get to sit down and think of what we want. Often times we are preoccupied with work, with chores and with desperately finding ways to entertain yourself (again, don't think dirty). So much so that we often move without focus. You wouldn't want to be 30 one day and suddenly realize that ......... all this while, I am not doing what I want. What is the purpose of just living for the sake of tommorow? Why not live for the sake of the future? Know what you want, how you want it to be done and when you want it done?